I am not only an Atheist; I am a Positive, no questions at all Atheist. I am a hard not soft Atheist. I am a Gnostic Atheist and Proud!

When I say I am an atheist what does one think? Does one think I simply do not believe in God? The definition of atheist is technically simply not believing in god. However, that is only the base of it and there are different forms of atheism. So, where do I stand on the atheist forms that exist? The answer is I am a positive, hard or Gnostic atheist. What does that mean actually?

It means I am not someone whom disbelieves in god; not only at least. I go one step further than that there is no god! None! No proof exists for one! No evidence that has not been forged proves there is anything supernatural to this universe. To say I do not believe in god equivocates there could be a god to believe in. On the contrary there is no god to believe or not believe in. There just is no god, period full stop.

Gnostic means knowledge and thus I am a Gnostic as in I know there is no god. So, Gnostic atheism means the opposite of agnostic atheism. I am a Positive Atheist because I am Positive there is no supernatural and no god. I am a hard vs soft atheist because I say there is no god not that I do not believe. I am proud of the fact I do not believe in fairy tales and a bearded man in the sky.

This does not mean I am an asshole to those whom do believe in such nonsense. I treat them the same as anyone else if they are a half decent person whom has earned my respect. Nor does it mean I could not love deeply someone with views I did not at all agree with. I absolutely could and have dated, had friends and even been in love with people whom believed in complete hogwash nonsense. I did not treat them like filth for being less rational than I am. I just accepted them as being less rational and loved them just as much. My being a hard atheist does not equal being a douche to other people.

Are reason and emotion really in conflict? Or are they actually different parts of a mindful whole?

There is an oft pondered question when it comes to the human experience and that is reason or emotion, which do you listen to? This is a question many people find themselves facing at different times in their lives. Which do you listen to and when? Or should you listen to either one? Or both of them?

Reason and emotion are often considered to be in a never-ending conflict where never the two will meet. I would like to say that I do not think this is correct. In fact, emotion and reason are not enemies at all and to pit them against each other is a big mistake. Both reason without emotion and emotion without reason is no good.

We need both reason and emotion; for different things, but, we need them both. We all have emotions we are all human and we cannot get passed having them. That does not mean they need to rule our life though. Nor does having reason as a guide mean repressing and thus not feeling, nor acting on ones emotions. To argue that because one is reasonable they will never feel emotions or act on them is inane.

Just as it would be silly to let emotions rule you and never to act in a reasonable fashion. This too would be a ludicrous way to live your life. However, some times reasonable people can get upset over just being human and feeling something. They freak out inside because they think that there is a conflict between being a non-delusional reasonable person and feeling things.

There is not; I repeat there is no conflict here only a misunderstanding. We are all evolved 5th apes and that means we will have emotions of evolved 5th apes. This means we will have the instincts of 5th apes and that also means we can feel deeply, but, also be rational. The answer is not to repress ones feelings. It is about balancing reason and emotions. Or mind and heart as some would say.

I for example; I care deeply for another, but, I am not irrational. I do not act in an irrational or unreasonable way. I maintain my reasonableness, my reason and my rationality. I maintain a balance at all times between my heart and mind as they say. Or my cognitive parts of my brain and my emotional ones. Nor do they act unreasonably with me either.

It is a mindful balance between your reason and your emotions. A harmony between reason and feeling that is required for a balanced life. You can both live with your head and your heart. You do not need to sacrifice reason to emotion. Nor emotions to your reason. You can live with both in balance and in harmony. Like two individuals can.

It is time that we toss off the idea that heart and head are enemies. That reason and emotions are enemies. One needs to understand that balancing both are important. Both are important to us as human beings. Reason is the guide through our cognitive faculties. Emotions are also important to us and also valuable in our whole as an integrated being.

Emotions can be like instant calculators letting us know what gives pleasure or pain. What makes us happy or makes us horrendous. A rational animal can have reasonable emotions as well. Toss off the idea that to follow your heart is anti-reason or that following reason is anti-heart. It is all within the context of things and within balance in a truly rational animal.

Do not get angry at your heart or your head. Think about if it seems to be reasonable to feel or think the way you do. Some times following your heart is also following your mind. Some times following your mind is also following your heart. Emotion and reason are bosom buddies and not enemies. We need different things for different contexts, different times. Quit with the war inside and love both! They are true Soulmates heart and head, head and heart. It is all your Mind, your only true Soul and part of you! It is a whole embrace them both within reason.

No matter if the glass is half full or half empty you can keep refilling it. Embracing a Benevolent Universe calms the nerves!

There is a well known saying about glasses and how full or empty they are. However, this is way to simple for our real lives. No one can be up all the time and no one should need to be. We are all only human after all and we all have bad days. As well as bad moods at times it is normal.

What we should all be reminded of is those bad times are temporary and that all glasses can be refilled by the drinker. As the drinker of the waters called life we are always able to pour more into our glass at anytime. Continuously refillable by us the drinker that is drinking it in.

It is always within us as the drinker to change the amount of water in our glass. There is no limit to how often we can get back up from bad moods and bad times. There is no limit to how much we can pour back in at any given time. As the drinker we are in control and through will power as the Rational Animal we can do cognitive work to make our mindset more based on growth. Based on a positive life is a journey mindset.

It is never to late to embrace the universe as being benevolent and not our enemy. That any sane rational person is not wanting your life to suck. We can learn to trust people that we are able to learn to trust and not need to worry about being hurt. Sometimes being hurt a lot makes one feel like they cannot trust, but, we can always learn to trust again. Not everyone is out to get us.

Among Rational and integrated beings there is no conflicts of interest and there is no malevolence. This is not to say there is no evil in this world we are surrounded in it. Yet, to see life in a paranoid mist which says that everyone is out to get you is no better than trusting everyone is. When I say a benevolent Universe I am not talking about some New Thought/New Age "The Secret," stuff. I mean a rational idea of benevolence.

I do not think that your thinking something makes the Universe give it to you. Nor do I believe that if I love something enough the Universe will hand it to me on a silver platter. Yet, one should believe that one can act to obtain their values and obtain them without a universe out to get them. That one is able to trade value for value and to get the good stuff in life. Not nessecarely material things, but, the good thing general. 

That one can act to and gain their values in life is key to not being deterred from acting to obtain said value. For if one is unstable due to fear and unable to act nothing can get done. Things do not just materialize into existence from the ether like Mana from a Garden of Eden. We need to think first and then act to obtain/keep the things we value in life. Whatever those maybe for any particular person. We need in that sense a benevolent view of the universe as not being our enemy.

When combining this with a proper mindset/attitude if you will wonders can happen. Not as miracles from some Universe that grants wishes like as if a genie. No, but, from our own actions based on our rational thinking and feeling what we want. Then going for what we want in the most proper way to be able to obtain those values long term. The universe is not out to get you quit thinking it is.

If you treat manhood like the devil you will make it the devil. If you treat it like the majesty of nature it is, you will get men fit to admire!

 

Stocism is simply being an adult.

The Love Stories of Ayn Rand

Recently I have started to really notice how much love is in Ayn Rand's works and how heartfelt it is. So many people out there think Ayn Rand would have no place for feelings or emotion in a series of novels based on Rational self-interest. However, if people actually read them they would see they are filled with love stories between heroic men and women. She was a lover of love and it shows in her work. 

Take for example "The Fountainhead," with the love story between Howard Roarke and Dominique. (PS: Feminists no, their first sex scene is not rape it is just very rough.). It is a very beautiful story between two people whom love each other very much. This sort of theme would continue into "Atlas Shrugged." 

For within Atlas you have two very different, but, also similarly beautiful love stories. One between Dagny Taggart and Hank Rearden. With the other one coming in Part III between Dagny and John Galt. Within Parts 1 and 2 of Atlas you have Dagny seeing and loving Hank Rearden as Ayn would say "body and mind, body and soul." Whereas his wife clearly does not love him and is using him for his riches. 

In one major telling scene at Hank's party his own wife considers his creation of his metal to be silly and to be worthless to her. Whereas Dagny loves the metal bracelet; she sees his soul/mind and body in the creation he made. It was his magnificent mind/soul made manifest in reality. She trades her designer necklace for Hank's bracelet of Rearden metal. 

She sees his true beauty and sees him as a whole/full entity a full being. Mind/Soul and body being one and not cut off from one another. A beautifully integrated being whom she admires, respects and is also highly attracted to. Whereas his wife frankly sees a honey bank to get off stuff off of like a leach and does not at all think about the happiness of her own Husband. 

This theme can be seen throughout their friendship and eventual romance/sexual encounters. It is very clear that Dagny sees Hank for the real being he is and that is whom she loves. It is not his body; as well described and defined it is. It is his integration both his body and soul. She wants eventually his body because she has experienced his soul and sees the whole. It is a beautiful story it really is. 

However, their story goes separate ways when she meets John Galt. Whom has many characteristics of Hank, but, even more so. Plus, he does not have something Hank does have. He does not have a wife that refuses to give him the divorce he wants to be with Dagny. So, when they meet in Part III when she lands in Galt's Gulch there is no obstacles to them being able to fall in love. 

However, instead the conflict is between whether to stay and let Taggert Continental collapse or not. This is the conflict in their relationship. Does she stay with him in his little valley or does she go back and meet her commitment not to a lover, but, to her business. In a sense she is now in the position Hank was for a time and in his shoes so to speak. 

Of course, she ends up going back, but, not alone. John Galt goes to New York with her and the end portion of the novel commences. In those later chapters John Galt reveals just how much Dagny means to her. At one point saying if he were to find out she was harmed he would not want to live. He would kill himself and surrender to the State if it saved Dagny from being killed slowly through torture. 

While this to me is an extreme; suicide over a lover is a No No. Suicide is never the answer, ever. Within the confines of a fictional world it is a beautiful statement. He tells her that he would have no values to live for as all his values are anchored now to them as she is his ultimate value next to himself. A beautiful statement, but, again to take it to such an extreme in real life would be insane to say the least. 

Most people do not realize how much love is in Ayn Rand's books. Both her fiction and her non-fiction works are filled with a love of life and how about happiness love really is. Of course, it is all fiction and these characters are meant to be ideal and perfect men, and, women. They are unblemished and their flaws are easily looked over because of how heroic they are. Love is in the air in Ayn Rand's mind. 

From Zombie to going to bed in heaven... and in defense of a renweal of individualism and personal responsibility

Today started out all blah and down, and very tired. However, it ended on a high mood and joyous abandonment with the woman that means the world to me. It went from a zombie bus ride to leaving work feeling alive once more ready to wind down for the night.

Now I lay here in my Country styled blue, red and yellow sheets preparing to wind down and go to sleep. With a smile on my face and going to sleep happily. I am also listening to Just Right Media podcast on the "New Left and their lost causes." Which I find riveting as I go off to sleepy land.

I also had the horror to find that certain Anti-Feminist types are not very principled these days. With some supporting the very policies they claim to be against by being anti-feminist. With massive wealth redistribution that any feminist would be fully lined up to vote for. Which I find interesting to say the least. They support the sort of political collectivism feminism is all in favor of.

Men do not need more collectivism as an answer to the collectivism against them in the name of a so-called equality. Oh yes, collectivism is the very core of that which is guiding the movement that is ruining lots of men's lives, so, let us embrace the core. It is to not be principled at all! The answer is methodological individualism in politics/economics. Methodological individualism by the way is not atonism. It is to say only individuals and groups of those countable individuals think/act. Even when there is a group. Remove the individuals and the group becomes an illusion.

Methodological individualism also demands personal responsibility. Which means those special snowflakes, SJW types and entitled millennials do not like this sort of philosophy. For individualism does not mean that we are all an island unto themselves. It simply means that individuals are the real thing that exists and that only by adding up individuals interacting are things like a society existing. This is not news to any one that deals with "society" as it actually exists. It is to delusional religious collectivists.

Nor is individualism the view that genes, and hormones do not constitute a huge portion of the tendencies in demographic populations. A methodological individualist view does not say gender is not real. It does not say our brains are not our brains. However, it acknowledges that people are individuals first and just happen to fall or not fall into the broader group in general. That is not the same thing as saying such groups are not true things.

Which means that I can and am both a consistent methodological individualist as well as someone that acknowledges the tendencies masculinity tends to have. As well as tendencies in what femininity tends to have. However, that is not what I am seeing from some people in the anti-feminist camp. I am seeing them be just as collectivist as the feminist crowd and it makes me sick. Individuals are individuals and it is the individual and their rights that matter.

Which means you cannot be principled and support any policy that infringes an individuals rights. Thus collectivism in all forms is always to be avoided. Even if it claims to speak for men and their rights too. Men need to be getting back to being methodologically individual and get their True Grit back. Individualism is the answer to all of this SJW, far-left, collectivist BS. One needs to embrace individualism whether rugged or unrugged. Individualism and the individual personal responsibility that goes with it.

PS: women also need to be rugged and have True Grit for one cannot go crying in a corner when they are not wearing training diapers. Pussy or no pussy do not be a little pussy!

Some more on traditionalism

I wanted to make sure that no misunderstandings were formed by my defense of some forms of traditionalism in my last article. I am not saying every single tradition that exists is good on its face of it. Neither am I saying one can dismiss something because it is a tradition. There are different traditions and some are not good.

For example; the tradition that men are disposable and thus their health physical or mental is not a matter of concern. This is one tradition we can let go of in my opinion.

However, there is a saying about not throwing the baby out with the bathwater. In an effort to modernize some things from the past many people think we need to give up on it all. Thinking it is all social construction. That there could not possibly be a biological and very human basis for the traditional aspects of manhood and womanhood.

This is a mistake and we are seeing evolutionary psychology disprove this social constructionist myths of gender. Ones gender is an innate thing in owns brain chemistry and is not some social construction. A good deal of the traditional manhood and womanhood is innate in our species. It is something at the core of whom we are as people; men are men and women are women.

This does not mean one needs to exclude homosexuals for instance. Men that love and sleep with men are still men; even if representation of them and stereotypes would have you seem it be otherwise. One does not need to be straight to be a real man and masculine. A lot more of the gay population is a lot more typical guys than most would realize. "Community" and "lifestyle" is not the same as the being.

I am a prime example of this truth being a bisexual male. Whom no one would even guess has fallen in love with and had sex with other men. While I am not a homosexual I am still evidence that one can differ in this regard from the traditional male role while still fitting many others. The same can be said for women. Whom are not all the stereotypical butch type.

Traditional masculine roles which are based on biology include protection and provision. It is not a social construct that makes so many men heroes saving the day in real life or their dreams. It is a very real desire to be the remains of the soldier, warrior, and the defender of the tribe. Which distills into more modern defense of one's loved ones and not just a "collectivist tribe."

This is also why one gets so many "damsel in distress" story lines and arch-types throughout human history. Men are literally programmed in their wet wear to step in to help women and children. As well as to fight to defend those whom are psychologically put into the "in group," which replaces our ancestors tribes. It is also why so many men will jump on the feminist band wagon and be white knights.

The desire to protect needs to be meted with reason, rationality and evidence of need for protection. As well as whether said individual has the ability to defend themselves. As does the desire to provide for someone else also need this tapering. For men can literally be manipulated into giving and giving using this innate tendency.

Similarly monogamy has biological roots as well. Monogamy is the way for a species to know whom has which children. Not all people are monogamous, but, that does not mean that there is no biological component to those whom are. Particularly with women; monogamy guarantees familial ties to the children. As well as insuring a woman's protection via their man.

This too can be dangerous if you are monogamous in a world of people that simply want cheap thrills. It can mean that one gets attached to someone whom simply wanted a night of fun. So, it is best often times to guard ones emotions in this day and age from being harmed. Pair bonding is a well known phenomenon in our species.

Traditions of femininity based on mothering natures are also based in biology as well. Just like men's masculine nature has natural fathering within it. There is a natural different, but, complimentary nature to both genders. Of course, there is also human universal in both genders as well.

The point is that traditionalism and traditions are not the same thing. One can see the value in some traditions without seeing value in all of them. One can also see where those do or do not come from human nature. Where they do come from human nature to try and do away with it is dangerously foolish indeed.

Although, it must be said that to consider traditionalism to be equal to some evil nefarious force is also as inane as any other collectivist view of people. Traditionalism whether or not I am one is not harmful if it is not forced onto others. The answer lies in the words, free, voluntary and consensual.

Character is important!

Patience is an often forgot virtue these days

Men need to be able to cultivate their natural masculinity in peace. Also, a tad on traditionalism.

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Tonight was a wonderful night and tomorrow will be even better! Life is good!

Tonight as I lay on my side after experiencing another amazing night at work. Which was previously a wonderful day as well. Tomorrow is going to be even better. For life is wonderful if you only have the right glasses on.

I was able to maintain, calm, cool and confident all night. I was not anxious all night and occasionally I thought of someone super special to my being, but, I never let it distract my focus. I was a super rep all night.

Tomorrow is the middle of the week already and time seems to be passing so quickly this week. I cannot believe Tuesday is over already. Life has been pretty wonderful lately in general. I am calm and not having anxiety attacks anymore. Occasionally I think of you, but, I would rather you stuck in my head than to live a life of being on the edge of a panic. You were right when you said I just needed the right person. My life will never be the same again now that you are in it! :)

Right now I am watching a mini Murder She Wrote Season One marathon before I fall too sleep. I am currently on Disc 3 of 5. I have seen every single one of the episodes so far! Not surprising as I used too not miss a rerun of it ever. Be it on A&E or Prime both great channels back in the day for the older stuff. You know me and my older stuff. One of the many ways you and I are locked at the very core. I used too watch black and white TV shows as far back as Elementary school.

Right now I am on that episode about the fella hit by the remote control car at the event in the park. Do you remember that episode hunnie? Anyway, I am going to wind down now and hope to get to bed soon. Life is good though! Very much in part thanks to you! Although, even if you were not here I would need to learn to love life again. (heaven forbid!) I will contain myself better next time we see each other. :)

Learning to contain myself and to just breath

Yesterday I had a great day and one of my best ever in a real long time. I was in a real nice place and I know that I was not the only one. It was definitely a wonderful day for two. Some would say it felt too good and to watch that I keep being rational.

There are some whom would say feeling too good is a sign that my reasoning mind is not intact. To watch what I say and or do as it might be an insane evasion of reality due to my emotional state. After all when one is in too happy a mood one might not be thinking clearly. One might be letting reason slip for the fact that they do feel so at peace and nice.

The view would be that I cannot maintain a sense of realistic and rational thinking if I am being so drowned in desires. So, moved by the feelings inside of me and it could very well lead to my complete self-destruction. I actually do not think this is the case at all. I do not think being happy and being reasonable are opposites at all. I do not think that emotionally being in a good spot is unreasonable.

If I could be on cloud nine a lot I would be in a very good spot in life. This does not mean evading reality, A=A and things are what they are. However, it would be to evade reality to deny how good I felt and how right it all feels. One needs not to give up a good life as a sacrifice to living in reality. Reality requires you to know how you feel and why. Not to repress and deny ones feelings.

If I were to say A really was a B that would be a problem, but, I am not. I am very much living in reality and feeling at the same time. There is no conflict between my emotions and my reason. I love being this happy and love my life right now. This is all that matters. That I am no longer facing the world and freaking out.

I do not care what others might think. I am me and I am free. I love whom I love and I am a good man. Whom makes me this happy makes me this happy. In time things can only get better and grow from here. It will just take time and patience. Love and trust, and time. I will make this work, we will make this work. It will just take time.

This has been a great weekend and I am feeling quite calm.

Tonight has been a good night and an evening before that. I woke up and went to supper with my Mom. We went to Pizza Delight and we had a 12inch Pizza and Garlic Finger. From there it was mainly relaxing in the passenger seat laying back. I had very little to worry about at all. It was a very nice night.

Now here I am typing this post and also watching the 2nd ever Columbo Episode on DVD. I want to Walmart earlier and found "Columbo," Murder She Wrote," and "Gilligan's Island" first seasons on DVD. Each of the boxed sets were only $10.00 and I got them while also getting some groceries as well.

I also walked my Mom's dog Felix and did some chit chatting with a friend of mine. Overall it was a rather productive day in regards to building up my stoney resolve to the external world.It has helped me to keep in relative calm all night. Tomorrow I am getting to hang out with my bestie before work. The icing on the cake.

Yesterday I had a wonderful few hours hanging out with my Buddy Ethan whom is traveling. It ranged from politics talk to tourist trap walks. He has since moved on his way towards Quebec. Which led to me grabbing some Swiss Chalet later that night. Accompanied by some Merlot Red Wine which made the Chicken Pesto Pasta go down nice and smooth. It made for a nice relaxing night!

Tonight I am engrossed in y old fave Columbo and enjoying life while I have it. Life is too short to be stressed about things most of which over I have no control at all. I can only live in my existence as it is, A is A and not B. My life is what it is and will be what it well be. All I can do is live the best I can and be the best I can be.

Calmness will become my middle name. That stoic masculine calm of a grown as man. I am going to grab myself some chips and dip. Then continue my Columbo marathon. Followed by getting to sleep, so, I can get up tomorrow to see my bestie before and during work. Life is good! It is a wonderful life! It is all how you look at it!
 

I am good enough! I have always been good enough! I will continue to be good enough and grow! Letting go of the past! To embrace the Future!

I lay here in my bed thinking about my life and where it is going. Recently I put up a post with a lot of my history which I than took down. In my past is the past and it is time to move forward. Today is today and yesterday is gone. 

Those people obviously were not good enough for me as they all left me. No one whom sees a value man would leave me if I were in a relationship. There would be no reason to. 

Cara for example left me because she was a bigot. She left because I told her even though I would never stray I was not able nor willing to not be bisexual. She just made love to me, she had trusted me to be inside her over and over, but, did not trust me when all I was, was being truthful. Could I have ended up being her Husband? Yes, but, fuck if I am willing to live a lie for someone else to not have to face reality. 

Ivan Pjanic also refused to commit to me due to not really giving a flying fuck. I was his male piece of ass and nothing more. I was his Brokeback Fantasy and not the love of his life. He was texting me this passed year also still wanting to have my manhood in him. He wanted to do it with no condom and I said "fuck no!" Wtf is he thinking? Even if I was interested in reliving old times I am not having Unprotected Sex! 

The meaningless men along the way also never really made a spot for me in their lives. However, I was not looking for one it was a different time. An immature time and I was a man slut I will admit. So, they really mean nothing in the long run and contributing nothing to my current world. Tomorrow is the dawn of a new day. A day that can only be better and find me in a better place. A place where I might find my love. If she is not already here. :) :P :;) 

All of my ex's the most intimate and loved or the quick/drawn sex partners are not my future. Nor are they meaningful to think about. To either think of them as good or bad. The past is the past and I need to just let go. Here is not that time and that time has passed. None of my previous loves or friends even will be like my new ones. I am only letting in people that treat me right. I am only letting in real love. 

People whom realize I am enough just as I am. Whom mirror my own growing self-confidence and love. I cannot be around anyone whom will bring me down, diss me and think of me as lesser. I am going to bath in those whom know and love The Real Me. Every side the most pretty and the most disturbed. I only will have people in my life that nurture the Angel's of My Better Nature. All those people whom are gone, are gone for a reason. They never wanted me to begin with!

I refuse to be around Negative Nancy's, Special Snowflakes and fakers. I have had nothing, but, fakers all my life. When I showed my authentic and beautiful self it was the beauty and light they saw which scared them. It was my beauty and not my lack of it. My power and majesty not my lack of it which frightened them. They saw the real me and could not take me as I am. I was too good for them!

So, thanks for walking out Cara McDearmid for without doing so whom knows where I would be. Thanks for taking off Ivan Pjanic and for making your crazy Bareback requests for you pushed me to do what I always should have done told you to fuck off. Thanks all you random hook ups and meaningless sex for you taught me, as much as I love sex, truly making love is so much more. 

Thanks even to the fakers for showing me how dangerous faking reality really is! Thanks to you all for you helped make me the me I am today. I am good enough! I am worthy! I am amazing! I am beautiful! I am sexy, hot! I am enough! I am handsome! Powerful, strong and passionate! I am loving and I am love! I am a fire burning bright oh so bright! I am good enough it is all the other losers in my life the negative fucks that I now cut off that were not good enough for a man like me! 

So, thinking about any of you no longer makes me cry. In fact, it makes me smile to realize none of you were good enough for a man as valuable as me. Not good enough to be graced by my manhood inside you. You did not deserve this heart of Rearden steel. This amazing person is too amazing for you too handle any of you! It was never ever me! It was always you! Always you! Never me!

So, good riddens and good luck to all of you where life might have you now. I bet you are reaping what you sewed. 

 

 

I really am free to be me! I can be as Christopher as Christopher can be! If you do not like me when I am happy you do not deserve me!

Tonight I had an amazing night at work! I was quick, I was kind, I was confident and assertive. I was expressive, but, not theatrical. There was a couple of holds, but, we all have some hold time that is the business.

SAF was very happy to hear I was happy and called me her Suga Plum. heh! I was very happy with myself and I kept smiling all night. Now I am home writing this little blog post.

The other day when I was talking to a co-worker about watching a video from The Atlas Society on emotion and reason I got a very abrupt response. "Please do not be taking any advice from Ayn Rand." Was what he said and I simply kept quite. I said it was appropriate because it was about reason and emotion; which was appropriate to the theme.

I hate to destroy his little ignorant mind, but, Ayn Rand has some of the most positive and upbeat, self-loving sayings I have ever heard. So, whether I agree with her views on everything or not is irrelevant. She has said some great things just as she has said some not so great things. For example I disagree that homosexuality comes from boys being coddled against sex.

Those are her personal opinions and have nothing to do with the philosophy of Objectivism for which she is most well known. Nor does it surprise me that she thought that she was a product of her time. However, ignorant people whom hate her and her philosophy automatically make any advice or stances automatically evil and vile. I try very hard not to hate people; although sometimes it is hard.

So, I find it horrendous to see Ayn Rand be painted as some vile creature due to some of her views on things being not so great. Does this man know Mrs. or Ms. Rand? No, he did not she died long ago. He never met her in person to know if she was vile or amazing. Yet, she is judged I think wrongly due to mistaking her views of Rational Selfishness to mean fuck others and hurt whom you want.

Of course, this is far from the truth and I present a tiny part of "The Virtue Of Selfishness" below;

The Objectivist ethics proudly advocates and upholds rational selfishness—which means: the values required for man’s survival qua man—which means: the values required for human survival—not the values produced by the desires, the emotions, the “aspirations,” the feelings, the whims or the needs of irrational brutes, who have never outgrown the primordial practice of human sacrifices, have never discovered an industrial society and can conceive of no self-interest but that of grabbing the loot of the moment.
The Objectivist ethics holds that human good does not require human sacrifices and cannot be achieved by the sacrifice of anyone to anyone. It holds that the rational interests of men do not clash—that there is no conflict of interests among men who do not desire the unearned, who do not make sacrifices nor accept them, who deal with one another as traders, giving value for value.

The meaning ascribed in popular usage to the word “selfishness” is not merely wrong: it represents a devastating intellectual “package-deal,” which is responsible, more than any other single factor, for the arrested moral development of mankind.
In popular usage, the word “selfishness” is a synonym of evil; the image it conjures is of a murderous brute who tramples over piles of corpses to achieve his own ends, who cares for no living being and pursues nothing but the gratification of the mindless whims of any immediate moment.
Yet the exact meaning and dictionary definition of the word “selfishness” is: concern with one’s own interests.
This concept does not include a moral evaluation; it does not tell us whether concern with one’s own interests is good or evil; nor does it tell us what constitutes man’s actual interests. It is the task of ethics to answer such questions.

There is a fundamental moral difference between a man who sees his self-interest in production and a man who sees it in robbery. The evil of a robber does not lie in the fact that he pursues his own interests, but in what he regards as to his own interest; not in the fact that he pursues his values, but in what he chose to value; not in the fact that he wants to live, but in the fact that he wants to live on a subhuman level (see “The Objectivist Ethics”).
If it is true that what I mean by “selfishness” is not what is meant conventionally, then this is one of the worst indictments of altruism: it means that altruism permits no concept of a self-respecting, self-supporting man—a man who supports his life by his own effort and neither sacrifices himself nor others. It means that altruism permits no view of men except as sacrificial animals and profiteers-on-sacrifice, as victims and parasites—that it permits no concept of a benevolent co-existence among men—that it permits no concept of justice.

Love, friendship, respect, admiration are the emotional response of one man to the virtues of another, the spiritual payment given in exchange for the personal, selfish pleasure which one man derives from the virtues of another man’s character. (Man here means all humans by the way PC police.) 

Far from hurting or harming others Ayn Rand presents a view of what she calls a Benevolent Universe in which people are not out to get one another as long as they are a good person. A good person living for themselves and not sacrificing others to them. Nor sacrificing their own value or moral virtues to others. We can and all should live first and foremost for our selves. I totally agree and this is why I am Proudly Objectivist.

I refuse to be told these views are evil and thus in tern be told I AM EVIL! This is what you are saying if you denounce Objectivism as evil because it is a description of my own view of the Universe and life in general. I WOULD NEVER HURT ANOTHER PERSON OR THEIR PROPERTY! I NEVER WOULD LIE, CHEAT, STEAL OR TREAT OTHERS AS BELOW MY FEET TO STOMP ON!

Anyone whom KNOWS me KNOWS how great I am! How amazing I treat the good people I value in my life! How dare you paint EVERY fucking one whom is an Objectivist as some sort of monster! Fuck you! All of you Objectivist haters! I LOVE ME! That is Fucking selfish and THAT IS GOOD! I am at peace when I read Ms. Rand's words of selfish wisdom. It helps me realize how Valuable I am! Fuck you! Fuck you!

I am me and I really can be free to be me! To follow my Rational Bliss! To shoot for the Realistic within reach stars. As long as I am not coercing, aggressive against you or your property. As long as I am not harming other people who gives a fuck if I find wisdom in Ayn Rand!  Fuck you! I AM AN OBJECTIVIST! THERE COME AT ME HATERS AND BE KNOCKED THE FUCK IN YOUR PLACE!

You will be smacked down in a mighty hand of love and not get back up! If it makes me smile! If it makes me happy and I am using Rationality as my guide why do you care! Fuck off! I refuse to sacrifice my personal happiness! Fuck you!!! FUCK YOU! You are bard from my Kingdom with the Phobes and the Anti-masculinity fucks! No haters of my happiness! Do not want to see me happy fuck off and stew in your negativity!

I am Proud to call myself a Masculine Bisexual man... because I am! Haters can fuck off! I am all man baby!

In my previous article I talked about something about me that could be considered a vulnerability the idea of wanting a mate for completing myself. Notice, I not once called this any sort of "feminine side." This is because it is not one. Men can be and often are vulnerable. It has no bearing on your manhood and your masculinity. 

I also wrote about crying and not once did I say "my feminine side showed." Guess what it did not, masculinity does not equal having no emotions it simply equals expressing them differently. Also, take note I said on the inside a lot and yes I was not physically doing it until I was out of sight of other people.

I did not sit at my desk like a little cry baby little girl in the corner crying for help. I reacted like a fucking man and that is beautiful. I cried inside I felt my feelings, but, all the time I was confident and assertive with the members. I am not about to be having my tear ducts drop actual liquid at my desk. Work is work I am not a little boy. Like I said I rightfully pushed that dramatic shit down on the calls.

I took several code and break trips to let it out in private in the men's room. I am not about spill the sort of emotional spaghetti you see on here when I have shit to do. Work is work and life goes on. Even when a grown ass man's heart is breaking he has shit to do and actions to take to make sure he has the money for living. Did I have a rough night, yes, but, I am not some little girl or boy.

I am an M. fucking A. fucking N! I exude man from my toes of my big strong feet up my body, through my long and thick "manhood" and up to my Adam's Apple adorned throat/head. Any of any of the two genders that claims I am not is crazy, insane and fucking delusional. Or has no sweet clue what REALLY separates a man from a boy, let alone a man from a woman. Some might wonder why masculinity is so important to me? Because it is what I am I am a masculine being in heart and in body. In mind and body.

You try to remove my masculinity card because I like to dance? Fuck off I have had more fucking women grind on me on a dance floor than any of you douches will have in your life. Call me not masculine because I have pink glasses? Fuck off I bought them at a time it was my fave colour! Try to remove it for daring to care? Fuck off, all men care we just express it differently (testosterone changes so much!)

Dare to swipe it because I have "some" feminine movies or TV shows? Fuck off, I only have the occasional Rom-Com and "50 Shades of Grey" does not equal Sissy. Dare to challenge me on qualifications in between my legs? Uhm, you should ask my ex lovers of both sexes how masculine and manly my reproductive organs are if you are that in my business. Dare to call me "feminine" for loving so deep? Masculinity equals biological protection and provision scientifically illiterate dickwads!

Dare to call me "feminine" for listening to the odd Boy Band and storming out calling me "gay?" Excuse me, but, you do know 100% Straight dudes like 90's music from Backstreet and Nsync right you brain dead cunt! Also, said dudes are not effette either. Try to remove it for how I walk or talk and you must be blind! Or deaf or both! Try to remove it from me if you dare! Nothing will rub it off and you dare not bring up the Bi thing. Bisexuals can be and mostly are masculine; as well as mostly straight most of the time in a lot of cases.

I identify as a Masculine man because I fucking am one! Not because I am "trying to prove my manliness" to you! I am manly because I am a fucking human entity that embodies all of the traits of a 29 year old man! In fact, odds are you would not even know I am Bi to be honest. I am a grown ass man that lives, feels, acts and thinks like a man. I am masculine because I think, feel, act and do in a masculine way! I walk, talk and process in a masculine way! It is the very core of who I am!

Come at me if you dare haters! I also do not Punch like a Girl I warn ya! I am a lover, I am not a fighter, but, I ain't got no limp wrists in the heat of battle. I am warrior when it comes to preventing myself from the harm of the hate brigade. These recent months a certain woman has been telling me how much of  a man I am. I do not believe because of that I am! I believe because I know I am! I am masculine! I am a masculine bisexual man! I am me and I am free! I am Christopher Mother Fucking Matthew out of my way Murphy!

If you are a Misandric, sexist piece of shit that hates masculinity and men just being men do not come near me. If you are a Biphobic cunt do not come near me! I do not want nor need, nor deserve either of your ilk. BiPhobic gays are also on watch my Castle Walls of this Kingdom will fight you off. All masculinity phobes and masculinity misunderstanders are put on blast. As are the BiPhobic cunts and bastards. None of you will get to me ever again. This kingdom is mine and I get to pick whom enters it! That does not include you!

Individualism and Self-Interest: nurtering and loving the self and acting according to ones rational self-interest leads to the good and Sacrifice leasds to evil

My life is all about one's Rational Happiness and nothing else. Life is too short and precious to not reach for acheiving happiness!

I just had a rough patch, but, that is not where my Journey is going. My Journey is taking me somewhere great in time. Wherever that might be! I am enough!

I am perfect just as I am I need to know this and live it! No matter what life throws at me!

The last few posts have been mainly on the romantic and on the want for love/companionship, so forth, but, I have kept them as positive as possible. The truth is one needs to be happy being without that companionship as well. It is something I have had to do for some time. One cannot let their happiness depend on other people. For some times you just have yourself and you need to learn to enjoy being on your own as well.

For we will not always have others around and if you cannot bear being alone that is not a good thing. One needs to be able to be by themselves and love themselves enough to be happy with ones life. After all I could be dead and rotting in the ground. I could be homeless without a roof over my head or food in my stomach. I could be laying on an operating table half dead and be barely alive. My life could be so much worse.

I do love myself and I have been single for ages now. I do love myself even if no one else is around. I do not need a companion to enjoy life because I enjoy myself. That does not mean I do not want a woman I very much do. However, I know that I need to be able to enjoy my alone time. As well as my time without a companion. Until the time that companion comes about. We all do and none of us should require a companion to love ourselves.

Self-love comes first as we need to know that we are worthy and enough before we can let down the walls to let love into our hearts. If I do not love myself when I am single and not taken I will never love myself if I become taken by another. Ones status of relations does not determine a man's worth. A good man is a good man regardless of status in their life. A good man alone is still a good man. A good man with a good woman is also a good man. For good men are good men regardless of status.

I am one hell of a good man! I am me and I am free! I am Christopher Matthew Murphy! Whether single or not I am still great and perfect just as I am! The right woman will see that and be attracted how good of a man I am. I love myself as I am even with all my human flaws; no embracing them for we are only walking 5th Apes at the end of the day and life is too short to be unhappy alone or with others!

Love yourself and be proud of everything! Even your mistakes!

Before one can say I love you one must first be able to say the I--- Ayn Rand.

 

Most people think that love is some selfish and altruistic endeavor which is selfless and not about "you." I counter that this makes no sense at all. For before you can love other people you need to learn to love and accept yourself. In order to say you love someone else you need to first be able to say you love yourself. You need to be able to say "I" love you. Which means you need to be able to say "I" and love that "I" enough to know you are worthy of the love of the other in return. 

If you do not love yourself when you are alone how will being with someone else make things better? The truth is it will not and you will never be happy if you are not happy with yourself. All good people should have self-love. They should be having self-respect and self-love. Obviously not all people are good people. Some people are downright evil individuals whom deserve to rot in their own personal hell for the type of person they are. 

Most people out there can be good and thus can gain reasons to have self-love and respect. One needs to nurture the self, the I and then from there love can come in easily. I am open to love from another more than ever before because I know I am worthy. I love myself and the man I have become. I have rational selfishness and egoism in check. I have and continue to nurture my self, my I, my mind, my body and myself altogether. 

Everyone needs to nurture themselves and work from there. I am still working on it, but, perfect is an illusion, so, I give up on ever being it. All I can be is me and anyone worthy of my returned love will love me for me. Will not demand I am some ideal that does not exist. They will accept me for me including all my human flaws. As perfect is not real it is a made up ghost we all seem to chase. However, there is no ghost to find and we are like dogs chasing our own tails. We need to turn inward to the self. 

We need to nurture that and love the self first before all else. We should not sacrifice our self to find love for it would not be love. It would be a parasitic relationship like living with a leach draining your life from you. Slowly killing you and making you choose the option of death just to not be alone. No relationship is worth self-emulation and destruction. That is not love that is no better than serfdom, a personal hell or slavery even. Nurture the self; for if there ever was something one could call a Soul it is The Self, "I."

What Kind of Bisexual are you? Am I? Where I land on a Kinsey Scale of sexuality.

For those whom do not know what a Kinsey Scale is I would advise you to visit this wonderful introduction and explanation of how one works. The Kinsey Scale is a way for someone to point to where they are in their sexual identity and orientation. It is well known for being something that many bisexuals use to show and explain where they fall into that big umbrella of possibilities. I figured that since I run this blog a little about me would be interesting for my readers.

What kind of bisexual am I? This is not an offensive question at all to me. I am not a special snowflake. I am bi and I am not a "whoa is me" type. It is a great question and if anyone has been looking at the posts on my blog they can see a pattern for sure. In fact, the pattern is so very in your face that some would say, "duh, of course it was right in my face!"

I have not really talked much about other men on this blog and some will wonder if this is due to my self-identity; my place on the continuum. I mean this blog if I had not been out you would think was ran by a red blooded heterosexual male. After all I have had more than one article on the State of womanhood these days. As well as articles talking about being a man of value to a woman whom can see. As well as writing about men needing to have self-love and confidence.

Yet, I am very much open on here about being bisexual and I am not about to be put into any closet. I am also not going to be put into some "gay closet" either. I am not gay I am bi and there is one hell of a difference. My strongest and most vivid sexual fantasies are with women and I am not ashamed to admit this. My Porn watching habits have been always predominantly straight and lesbian. Even when I identified as "gay" I watched only straight porno. Yes, I have watched gay porn, but, it does not do much for me at all.

At the same time I have dated and made love to numerous men; would again with the right person as well. I have been madly in love with other men and also madly in lust. I have desired to be in many men's nice shapely back-door. However, I do fantasize more about women than other men. I also am not someone whom never fantasizes about men. It is just I am more likely to think about women on a more regular basis. I am also far more likely to see me walking hand in hand with a woman in my fantasies.

All of this should come as no surprise to anyone that has been reading my site. After all if I was thinking about men all the time in an emotional and sexual way one would see many more posts about that on the site. This does not mean I do not see men and say wow! I do absolutely after all that is what makes me Bi after all. Yet, as I said earlier I fantasize more about women and also would love to find my own companion.

So, how about which my body reacts more to? Whom gets my rocks off the most? Well, define that for me please. If you mean whom I have climaxed with more than the answer lies with women yet again. In terms of penetrative sex there was a long string of men I penetrated without having a single orgasm. While I have never slept with a woman when I did not make them orgasm and I as well. So, in this regard women also win out as well.

How about emotions? Well, I have loved and lost people of both of the genders. My earliest feelings were for members of the opposite sex while my first feelings for a man was when I was 18. The same thing can be said for my sexual desires. I never recall feeling any sexual desires till I turned that same age. Why things changed I do not know and nor do I care really. I am proud of whom I am as a person.

Which brings me to the conclusion and actual answer to the question a hand. Where on this scale do I put myself? Well, based on my own experience at being whom I am I would put myself at a 2.5ish on the Kinsey Scale. I am not in the closet and I am not self-hating. Nor am I "gay" in any sense of the word. I am a very much opposite sex leaning bisexual man.

This does not make me any less Bi at all. Having any sort of capacity for emotional and/or sexual desire for both genders is the definition of being Bi. What kind of bisexual am I? I am a Christopher Murphy bisexual. I am me and I am free!