Tonight at work I was met with a horrid sight of two failed QAs something which I do not like seeing at all. I really took it bad in the back of my head, but, I had to go moving on from call to call. I could not take it really and it hurt me. That I could fuck up not once, but, twice and began my month on a low note.
I wanted to just go and shout at myself about being so stupid as to not be able to pass my QAs when I am so good at my job. I wanted to slap myself silly for a while for failing. Being a failure at my job and not doing my best. I need to be able to get high QA and also go fast with my calls. I need to balance the empathy and efficiency.
I must have had a night of being not focused enough. I must have messed up somehow to be such a failure. Why did I screw up twice? I am a good agent at work. Why did this happen? Why did I fuck up because I did. I need to be making my Stats I really do. I need to be keeping those high QAs, those high 80's and 90's. I am not saying I will stay a failure I do not think I will I have more self-respect than that. However, it was a failure and I cannot evade reality that I had failed temporarily. It was not permanent and I will be better, but, I did fail. Failure is a signal to see what you did wrong and move on.
I need to moved on and do my best to make up for my temporary failure to be as focused as I could have been on these two calls. I need to be better than that and I cannot let my personal rage at non work related stuff affect how I am handling calls. That night if it was what I think it was was not a good night. I got influenced in my attitude on thinking about some stuff from my past that I brought up due the next day being Pride.
I brought up my bullying by the so-called lovely Gs in the GBLT and it made me rage inside. It was a conversation with a co worker about what I had gone through. Due to this I was rude with the member when I should not have been. I kept thinking of the jerks, the bullies in Pride in the back of my head.
I can maneuver around this though and bounce back because I am at my core awesome at my job. I know this and I need to keep believing it is the case. I can do this and I can bounce back onto my feet. The next QA will be better as I was not rude at all tonight. I was nice, polite, confident and quick with my calls tonight. Which is a good thing it means I used my failure and acknowledging it not to slap myself silly, but, to make me charge ahead. Like a call centre warrior fighting on and winning the war after losing a battle. I thrived, strive, and struggled with my automatic reaction to win my goal.
I will win this war against that ghost called failure. I know I can for I have in the past and I will again in the future. I will be the winner and I will once again feel that King in my Kingdom feeling. I can do this and I can win at life as I know I am good at my job. I will kill at this job once more this is only a minor set back. I will not be getting down on myself about work. I can do and will do better than I did in the last two QAs. I need to remember I am an awesome person and an amazing man. I am an amazing and hard worker I will do better. I know I will and I know I can.
