Men need to be able to love themselves and live a life which nurtures the self not live a projection of what others want.

A lot of times when you look up information related to the manosphere you end up with a bunch of sites talking about what women want in men. You will find sites talking about Game and things like that. You will also find sites talking about masculine traits through the eyes of what women find attractive. Usually tossed in there somewhere will be talk about alphas, betas and omegas. Not usually do you see sites talking about manhood and what it means or not for the man himself.

The only website on masculinity that I ever really found that was based on manhood from the view of the man is Allan J. Frantzen's website. He is the man whom came up with the term being a GYB man or a Grab Your Balls man. Which I found to be a very refreshing site to find and it also called out calling men effeminate or emasculated without having their testicles removed. In fact, it was finding his website that helped light the spark of an idea for my own website you are finding yourself reading right now. I figured maybe I should do my own blog about manhood and maleness that looked at things from a different view point than Game players or attraction gurus.

My personal mindset has been from the very beginning that manhood is not based on "otherism." It is not based on what women or other men define as manhood, but, instead by manhood itself. That ones sense of worth as a man should not come from an external source, but, instead from ones own view of themselves as worthy. That a mans worth exists in a world where no women or other men even exists. That men have their own value as people regardless of whether they slay the ladies or turn them all off like vinegar. That men need to put their own well-being first and foremost which means to put the needs for women's and other men's attention as last.

In fact, the theme of so many sites dominated only by what women want means men are constantly living for women and not themselves. Even if said sites are right about what they say women want they are about women and not best practices for men. There is no emphasis on the best and most healthy or whole way for a man to live. There is no emphasis on the mental, physical or emotional needs of men. It is all about the desires of women so much for being sites for men. Masculinity becomes no more than another word for what women want and not about a man at his core. In essence manhood is no longer about being at peace with your core as a man. Instead it becomes placating for the chance to spread your seed.

Masculinity is not just what women want it is much more than that. Men should be able to embrace whom they are no matter how it affects women's attention to them. Nor their fellow man's. At the end of the day it is not the woman nor other men that they see in the mirror before bed and as they rise. It is themselves that a man sees and it is themselves they need the most to have reverence for. It is the self they need to love, to nurture the most and the self they need to honor. The self they need to see as their target of loves arrow. Not in some narcissistic sense, but, in a very much rational sense. If you cannot love yourself whom can you love. 

A Voice for Men headlines fostering In-Group thinking

Last night I was looking at A Voice For Men and came across an article stating that men should start using "we." Thar men should use it to talk about men as to foster the ability to think of themselves as in-group with other men. That women use the term all the time to foster in group solidarity as a sex/gender and thus men should start doing so as well. Using terms like ourselves as opposed to other men or words such as that. The Author whom goes by the name Andy Man also says that men should be something called Zeta Males and that males need to begin making connections with each other without regard for women. The term from what I can see is something made up entirely by himself.

One of things I noticed is that he was using Zeta Male as basically a different term for being a MGTOW essentially. What he seemed to be saying was that men should start to become MGTOW to an extreme. Not just not marrying or anything, but, instead men should not bother associating with women socially at all. While there is nothing wrong with this it seems that he forgets that women are not some collective "woman." I am not arguing against the idea of men being social with each other exclusively nor against developing a brotherly relationship with the men in your life. What I do have issues with is the idea that men should start saying, "we."

It sounds to me like the building blocks for a tribalism around sex/gender among men. Which is no better than sex/gender tribalism based around a "collective woman." There is no collective suicide or collective workplace accidents. Individual men are experiencing these; "we" are not. Anymore than a collective woman is experiencing things that women might experience as the Feminist Narrative says. When I watched the International Conference on Men's Issues I found myself appalled at the language used calling "women as a class doing this." So, there is a class called woman and a collective woman that is doing all of these bad things to men. How is this any better than Feminist Theory stating everything bad that happens is due to some "collective man?"

I am against all forms of tribalism irregardless what it is built around. I do not condone the idea of the MHRM becoming some sort of tribalism around men. I hope the MHRM does become a new collectivist movement in social war with the already collectivist Feminist movement. We does have legitimate uses when it comes to talking about you and other people in your life doing things together. However, this is not "men," as some sort of collective. This would be the individual men in your life you are currently doing something with. As it would be any women you are doing things with that too would be a "we." Also, such a "we" is really just multiple 'I's." One needs to fend off tribalism where they see it creeping up.

The Flourishing Man Episode 2 | Same-sex Masculinity

In this second Episode the primer on definitions continues as I dispel the notions of same-sex experiences being incompatible with retaining manhood. I will be also citing the same article What is Masculinity from A Voice For Men.

Which can be found at;

www.avoiceformen.com/men/mens-issue…s-masculinity/

"Don't Ask The Reasons Why," by Restless Heart. From The Secret of My Success Soundtrack

*Lyrics*

Alone, on your own
No way to see the end
But here's where the road begins
In time, I know you'll find
Whatever you're searching for
All of your dreams and more

But right now you're feeling
Lost and lonely
Crazy to even try
Just listen to what
You're heart keeps saying
And don't ask the reason why

You've known, all along
It won't be an easy climb
But nothing can change your mind

And now, here you stand
Your destiny's calling you
You know what you've got to do...

Don't you know I believe in you
I'll be there when your dreams come true
And wherever you go you'll always know
My love is by your side

And whenever you're feeling
Lost and lonely, crazy to even try
Just listen to what your heart keeps saying
And don't ask the reasons why
Remember my love is there beside you
You've got to believe it's true
Just listen to what your heart keeps saying
And don't ask the reasons why...

Don't ask the reasons why.

Contra the transtrenders: Sorry, not sorry there really are only 2 genders and toddler style breakdowns do not change the truth!

I decided I just had to chime in on this whole trans-trending bullshit that is going on lately. I have had about enough of these people whom have no idea about biology or psychology 101 for animals spouting their bullshit. No, I do not care whom I make cry or whom I cause to be "triggered." You are either male or female, that is it there is only 2 genders. You either have a male body/brain combination, or a female body/brain combination or a serious mental/medical condition called Gender Dysphoria. Those are the three things that exist only those 3. There is no third or fourth genders; that is a person with a serious, very serious medical/mental condition and not a new gender.

Transsexualism or transgender-ism is a serious, and I mean serious medical/mental health issue. It is not someone whom wants to wear dresses when they have a penis. It is someone whom literally is Dysphoric of their body based on their gender. It is a DSM-5 recognized Mental Health Issue, it is not "normal." OK, it is a very serious condition for those whom have it. The entire premise of it relies on their only being 2 genders as well. For if there were not then a transsexual, trans-gendered person would not need to transition or take hormones. For there would be no need to do either thing. 

Sorry, but, anyone whom claims to be Non-Binary as in neither male nor female is full of shit. There is no such thing as having no gender. You have one; we all do. For most people; the vast majority that is aligned with your genitalia. If you do not identify you have a mental/medical condition you are not a new gender. This could be actual gender dysphoria or some other gender identity related disorder that might not be the same thing, but, have similar symptoms. It could be something that needs transitioning. Or it could be purely something that needs lots of intensive therapy. Both things happen and it could go either way. 

However, if you claim to not be either gender and ALSO as these bastards are doing claim NOT to have gender dysphoria you are full of shit. Or you have some other GID, Gender-Identity Disorder or Discordance and just do not want to admit it. You are either one of two things; also having a serious mental/medical issue and denying it causing you harm. Or you are lying and you are just delusional. Yes, some people are just delusional and these people are them. Gender is not a spectrum OK! It just is not. It is binary like a computer's memory it is male or female.. it is binary. You can express that in many different ways, but, expression is not the same as gender identity! Although the two can be linked! 

I do not care how "triggered" you are from human biology this is just the facts of nature. Men (discounting Gender Dysphoric people) have penises and women vaginas. This is tied together in most men and women with different brains, differences in hormones and their flow, and so much more. It is tied to a lot of things and it is not socially constructed it is biologically constructed. Even the cultural aspects are the results of biological decisions that kept our species going and exist for a reason. Evolutionary Psychology explains it all; both the nature and nurture aspects worked together to keep our species alive. 

This is where gender roles come from as well; they are not invented by the patriarchy or some nonsense. They are evolutionary constructs and can be seen even in the smallest of children. For example newborn male babies look at things not people. While newborn females look at people; this is biological and physiological occurring way before any cultural influences. Female babies exposed to abnormal levels of hormones also do this like baby boys do. The vice versa same for newborn baby boys with abnormal hormones in the womb. Indicating proof positive there is two hardwired genders; even if there are many individuals that differ within the same gender. There are only two; hardwired genders and not a gazillion. 

If you express yourself differently that is not the same as having a different gender. That is not the same thing as not being male or female. That is not same thing as being a non-binary douche. That is what you are a douche that wants to be a special snowflake because just being a person of an actual gender that is different in some manor you need to trash your own gender. To the point of claim to be no gender because to admit you are male or female, but, oh my god an individual is just too fucking old fashioned and conservative for you. Too traditionalist or even "oppressive." You people make me sick! Actual gender identity issues are a serious matter and you make all trans people look like they are just whiny babies. Not suffering an actual mental health issue. 

You are not a Ze, or a Zirk these are not real words nor are they "gender pronouns." We have two pronouns that are real, "him, and "her," or "he," or "she." They, them, zirk, zeeg, arl, erk, and whatever the fuck else you make up is just that made up trash. It should not be taken as seriously at all. On top of it stop demanding people use proper pronouns when you do not even use real pronouns. How is someone supposed to know when you are biologically one gender or another that you are a "ze?" It is bullshit, complete, total and utter. Quit whining about being misgendered because someone properly identifies your actual gender that you have. 

There is nothing other than men and women; women and men. Whether CIS and concordant like most humans or Trans and discordant. There are only two things you can be, psychologically, biologically, reproductive, chromosomal, there are two. Male or female and nothing else! You might be unique, but, you are not a new gender. You probably are not all that unique either you are probably more typical to a man or woman than you even realize. You are just an individual and not a label; which is not a bad thing. Men exist, women exist and that is it! You are one of them! Quit being a douche. 

An old article from 2011 on A Voice For Men provides an excellent definition of manhood/masculinity.

Normally I do not actually go onto A Voice For Men, but, I was on another site which linked to it. So, I began looking through the articles by a fellow whom got into a huge argument with the Alt-Right homo darling Jack Donovan. He was arguing that the colors on the Male Studies home page back in 2011 was not Queer against Jack whom called the program a home for "sissy faggots." It was an old article, but, I was interested to see what else B. R. Merrick had written for the site.

Low and behold I came across a ton of articles over the years on various different topics of note. One of them was just simply entitled, "What is Masculinity?" I found myself intrigued as his interaction with Jack showed whatever his definition would be it would not be what the Barbarism movement of Donovan wanted to release on the world. Much to my surprise I found a very well written article all about essentials and concept formation more or less.

This much broader and yet still fundamental definition was as follows;

The existence of manhood; and the perception, recognition, and application of reality through it. 

This frees up men to both have a broad brush, but, also still have fundamental differences to women in many ways. It essentializes; thus separating masculine from feminine. Yet, it does not render a man against any particular desire, interest or trait that might be within the man.

He continues on in his article after asking a trick question of whether the more emotionally contemplating music or the aggressive music above is by a man. The trick being that both are by a man writing his music about different topics and in different moods. He follows from this to explain what he means in more detail VS what he does not mean.

 ....both musical examples above fit nicely within this definition, as both were written by one who existed in manhood, and who perceived, recognized, and applied the principles of the universe in which he lived to create his music.  His contribution is different from a football player’s, from Jack Donovan’s, from mine, and from every other man who ever walked upon this earth, or whoever will, but it is still masculine.

Least you think his brush is still not broad enough he goes onto describe his Men's Group Therapy sessions which included many Gay and Bisexual men. In which he says the following;

Over the next several months, or perhaps it was longer than a year, this group of men became my lifeline, my outlet, my anchor, and my friends.  They were the genuine article..... I wasn’t the only masculine entity walking around on that campus that initially dismissed them as less-than-manly.  I’m sure I am not the last to have been proven wrong.  The masculine qualities these guys expressed were different than most.  But there was no mistaking that each of them had a penis and testicles, and that the unavoidable, external acknowledgement of the possession of those members, along with the internal surging of testosterone, had its influence on their behavior and their manly bodies. None of these guys wore a dress. None of these guys wanted a sex change. None of them was under the impression that he wasn’t really a man. 

Masculinity, whether we choose to define it or not, will continue.  It’s natural law.  What is required at this point in time is not to abandon the word, any more than I think we ought to abandon the word “honor.” What will benefit us the most is understanding, whenever we encounter it, those aspects of manhood that have been left behind, ignored, derided, or simply misunderstood. 

I think this is one of the best descriptions of a definable, but, yet less perfectionist driven version of masculinity. It lets us men be men, but, also does not deny men access to full humanity in the name of being masculine as opposed to feminine. It also lets into the masculine club if you will lots of men that get labelled by society as womanly or effeminate even if they do not match the actual Biological or Psychological definition of that term in anyway at all.

It is both defining and freeing all at the same time. By defining masculinity as a definite objective thing. Yet, does it in a way in which one is also acknowledging not everyone that tosses around that term knows what it in fact means. The answer to the man or boy that is "different" is not to make him feel like he is less than his sex. Is not to label him "effeminate," but, to understand this might be just aspects of "masculinity" miss-labelled as"feminine," It is instead once more as B. R. Merrick put it so well;

....... those aspects of manhood that have been left behind, ignored, derided, or simply misunderstood.