William Shakespeare famously said in Hamlet, "to thine own self be true." Like much of great classic literature in the English cannon these words are powerful and meaningful in the real world as well. Sometimes men (and women too) start feeling like they need to somehow change themselves as if they are not great people just as they are. They feel that others will judge them even if there is nothing wrong with them. That if they do not meet some ideal with the check list ticked off they are useless and not worthy.
I want to say right here and now that is an unhealthy mindset to have. The most important acceptance is self-acceptance. Just as self-love helps fuel external love in so many ways as well. Anyone whom really wants to be your friend; let alone wants to take the midnight express to O land will accept you for whom you are. If you need to deceive yourself or put on an act to get some or get friendship, or get love it is not worth it. It is living a lie and you are infecting your mind with a falsehood of whom you are.
Never lie to your own brain that is very dangerous. Always be truthful about whom you are with yourself and then the others around you. For I have a secret for you... odds are you are fine just as you are. I have gone through rejection quite a bit in my life, but, I have come to learn not to blame myself for any of it. Whether it was so-called friends that left me or lovers that all of a sudden my "manhood spear" was not good enough for anymore. I have come to realize over time in the end I do not need them.
Only the people that know me, the actual Christopher, the real Chris and love me are worth being in my life. People are not worth trying to hold on to that never really wanted me to begin with. I am better, we all are better being by ourselves than with fakers. Fakers are those two-faced bitches, cunts and bastards that make like they care when they do not. Or they care only for the superficial not for the really important thing you as a person. I love myself just as I am; I am perfect just as I am and I am all the man the right people need.
We all need to learn to love ourselves just as we are. Men especially with all the expectations put on us as men need to realize how great we are. How worthy of the right people we are and how unneeded the fakers are. Having 100 friends that all will leave at the drop of a hat is not a healthy way of living. It is more healthy to have a few great true friends than 100s of fakers. It is better to go through life with a few amazing lovers that rocked your world and wanted to be rocked by the real you. Than to have 100's of fakers that fuck you and leave as soon as the single wrong thing is said or done.
If there were rules I would mention to any other men out there rule # 1 would be just be yourself. That I think is the most manly thing to do. To just be yourself regardless of how many friends or lovers it gets you. It is more important to be true to yourself and just be you than to change to make friends or lovers. Rule#2 would be to stick to your guns when you being you is called out as not good enough. Just keeping doing you your way; be your own man. Now that is manly to me! Fuck negativity and live in the positive. Fuck unreasonable expectations just push on.
When I say be yourself I mean just that. No matter what type of man you are just be it. No matter what archetype you might conform to just be you! A liberated masculinity is about being yourself and it not being any less than other men's. We are not all identical men we are all unique and our own men. You like video games as an adult? That is cool! Gamers are cool! Also, hells yes they can be manly as fuck! Like the odd stage play? That does not make you any less masculine dude! Love pink? Then rock it and fuck those that knock it! You are not effete for loving a certain color.
Do you actually like the odd romance story? Guess what, still masculine! There is a definite meaning behind being effeminate and none of these match it. There is a definite meaning behind being manly and none of this removes that. There is a definite definition to being a man and none of this defiles that in a person. Do you occasionally cross your legs? Oh well, so what? You could cross your legs and sound like a quarterback when you speak. Hell, you could be a quarterback for all anyone else knows.
A liberated masculinity is just that; embracing that you are masculine that is beautiful and that you can be yourself while being masculine. It is not as feminists would like men being like women or men feminizing themselves. It is a man neither sacrificing his masculinity and manliness, nor sacrificing the little things that make him him to the fact he is masculine. It is an non-sacrificial view. One does not become emasculated by being an individual while being a man. For example; the non-feminine and masculine musical lover. (Yes, they do exist.) He would not feel the need to tame his swagger to his knowing all the songs from Cats or Phantom Of The Opera. Nor does he sacrifice his love for musical theater to the fact he has a swagger not a mince.
It is an individualistic masculinity that is neither sacrificing the masculine in a man nor sacrifices their personal loves and interests to their broader masculine identity. You can be masculine and know every show tune off by heart. There is a difference between loving a musical and emasculating yourself. This does not mean any man that loves a musical is masculine. Of course not there are lots of men that like musicals that are in fact effeminate to the point of being like a purse with balls. This does not mean because you like musicals you become that though. I am not arguing all men are masculine or manly; they are not. I am arguing that you do not lose your manly card because of personal interests.
Nor am I arguing here that men whom are not manly and masculine should be somehow shamed to be something they are not. Anymore than I think us masculine and manly men should be pushed to be more effete. Liberated masculinity is about accepting ourselves; we are the men that are naturally masculine. The men that have masculinity as part of the very core of our gender identity and expression. Men such as ourselves need to be liberated from both our own inner insecurities and also the pressures of the outside world that say "masculinity is fragile, or masculinity is toxic." It is manliness and masculinity unleashed in all its positive glory on the world. In a liberated and positive state of living a joyous life of amazing moments and memories; built on value.
You could also be a masculine man that would not be caught dead doing a single non-stereotypical thing. Not having a single preferences or interest outside of the most stereotypical idea of being a man. Guess what that too is beautiful, amazing and a positive force in this world. You too can be a liberated man even if you are stereotypical. This is not about whether you do or do not. It is about unleashing the beauty of masculinity on the world confidently and filled with self-love. Filled with self-acceptance that a "perfect ideal man" is an illusion and in fact "you are a perfect man as you are." You do not need to meet some checklist of being this or that to be a good man, a great man and a perfect man just as you are.
Masculinity and manliness is beautiful; it is in so many men and repressed needs to come out in a positive and good way. A liberated way that does not mean men trying to be perfect and treating themselves like a utility. Like I always says we are men and not machines. We need to be able to recognize our humanity and not think that means to cut off our balls and be like women. Just be yourself that is what it all comes down to. If you have even the smallest inkling of a masculine side let it out, do not repress it and just be yourself. For you are beautiful! You are amazing.. You are perfect just the way you are and you need to know this. Masculinity is beautiful and it is good! It is in fact perfect!! Completely perfect! Love life, enjoy life, and enjoy being a man! You are an amazing outcome of evolution! Recognize it! Love it! Embrace it! Be it!
