Keep Calm and be masculine! Keep on keeping on and relax.

I'm Bisexual and I Don't care literally it means Nothing to me! I am me! I am free I am all man! I am an Alpha Masculine Beast period!

Happy Masculine Bisexual Pride to me!

Men Stop Trying to be any Woman's ideal and concentrate on being the best you!

One of the worst things someone as a man of mature age can do is to try and be the ideal of female psychology. Trying to match the ideal that women want in their evolutionary psychology is quite harmful to men. It makes one think one is never good enough if they do not meet her Hypergamous pre-modern society ideals one is not "perfected" enough.

This is a very dangerous outlook for men to make and it makes one forget how great of a man one really can be. Simply by being the best person they can be. Regardless of if those traits or qualities makes the panties drop or not. One is worthy as a man even if he is completely celibate or if one is into other dudes as partners. Women do not make men worth anything.

If a man concentrates on what women want they do a disservice to themselves and are not concentrating on being the best person they can be. Not to mention a lot of women have crazy expectations that want a man that does not exist outside of dime store Romance Erotica. Men need to make themselves their own mental point of origin. They need to concentrate on themselves and what is best for them to be the man they can be. To be the best person they can be. To be the best person you can be is what being the best man you can be is.

This is the most masculine thing a man can do when it comes to women. Just simply not giving two fucks and being as Allen Franzen calls it a "Grab Your Balls Man." A man that puts himself and his development/refinement as a person #1 and sex/women/relationships far from #1. Of course the GYB Man can be in a very loving relationship. Of course they can protect and provide for those of whom they find to be their ultimate values in life. However, they do not sacrifice their own best interests for the sake of others. They do not sacrifice; if they protect and provide it is in their best interest not a sacrifice as they are protecting/providing for those they love free of coercion or pressure.

The point is that a GYB man puts themselves and what is best for them first. Self-respect and interests VS self-destruction and humans acting like utilities to be used by others. Also, men need to stop trying to reach for some illusion called "perfect in all things." This does not mean a man cannot work on moral and philosophical perfection in the sense of understanding and following their moral code at all times. It means that one cannot become a "perfect person," as a "perfect person" is an illusion.

A GYB Man is one that is not thirsty for the vagina ride, but, put it as very low on their series of values they are after. They are not ashamed to have it happen and embrace sex with women, but, it is not their life and currency. By trying to do what women want or caring what they want men are simply becoming analytical and anxious wrecks. Overthinking their entire being and making themselves live a much harder life than they need to be living. A man into dudes also should not be obsessed with other men's main vein either.

Men of any orientation need to work on taking care of themselves first and about whether a perspective partner wants to take them to bed last. All men and people in general need to be living to fulfill their own happiness in life and rational self-interest. Not be human utilities or wallets. Not be acting like sacrificial animals on the alter of some higher cause. Any cause that is truly high is a cause you have self-interest in, you have passion in, it is a mental value and/or you have the heart for.

Instead of worrying about meeting some pre-conceived ideal man archtype. Work on being the best person you can be. Look into what happiness you want to pursue and be reasonable about it. Be rational about it, but, also be optimistic as well. Do what you can do at whatever ability you have to the best of your ability. Take life by the horns and ride that bull of life. We only have one life and then we become plant food. So, make the most of it while you can and do it before it is too late! Enjoy life while you have it as life is too short to not do what makes you rationally happy.

 

I Love Being Christopher Matthew Murphy, I love being me and love being masculine!!

A love letter to myself and my Masculine Heart

Dear Self,

I see you every day when I wake up and look in the mirror. I look at you a 29 year old man, big, tall and hell of handsome. I look down as I enter the shower and I see that beautiful afternoon glory your newly awaken manhood. Beautiful and amazing your male reproductive organ your "manhood," "cock,", "main vein." You are beautiful your glowing, gleaming, thick and triumphant trophy of the testosterone based beauty you are to this world.

I wash up lathering my entire body up and down. Back and forth, up and down. I am so beautiful I need to be grateful for my amazing hormones and genes. My Y Chromosome that builds whom you are is beautiful. Testosterone is beautiful you are beautiful. Your naked body; what you came into this world in is amazing. Beautiful body and amazing heart. Beautiful chest, nice strong and yes hairy legs. Your feet that carry you in the world are big and strong. Amazing emblems of masculinity expressed in the universe. Your hairy chest which is amazing and an symbol of the man you are born to be as a male of the species.

Your hair is amazing and beautiful as I wash it in my shower. It is amazing that colour all natural with none of the fake shit "meterosexuals" wear. The curliness, the oh nice and soft feeling as the shampoo hits my head. Cleaning the back of your neck. You neck is beautiful and that Adams Apple in front of it is just another symbol of your masculine glory in this world. You are all man Chris, you are not womanly at all. Your body from hair to toes is all testosterone and masculinity manifest. Your masculinity is there and always has been by birth right of being male. Sexual Dimorphism determines without question you are all masculine, man and beautiful.

You get out and start to dry off first at your big and strong feet. Then move up across that beautiful, newly cleaned, pharamone inducing, glistening, shining naked, exposed and glorious masculine body. Drying that glorious testosterone trophy between your legs. Drying the entire long, thick and magnificent shaft. From the balls, those beautiful balls that tap against your lovers entrance with each masculine, strong and also loving thrust when you make love. You are all masculine my man! You are masculine! NOT can be, are a manifestation of masculinity personified into matter in the world. You have masculinity in your heart; in your mind and in your very existence in our species.

You do not need to "do anything," to "become masculine." Masculinity courses through the blood that pumps your heart, that makes you live. Masculinity is the reason you are alive. That masculine hormone that masculine chromosome it gave you and gives you life. You are masculine! Now you need to KNOW IT daily! Feel it! Affirm it, say it! I AM MASCULINE! Your heart and brain know it is true. Do not over-think, think less and feel more. Feel it! Feel that testicle juice pump through your veins with every sexy word that comes from your mouth. With every strong, but, loving step you take. But, strong and masculine always. Never poofy, never weak. Your wrists are anything, but, limp they are strong, sturdy and full of expression.

Your lips are amazing! Filled with so much masculine sexual energy! You make all your lovers want to drop to their knees and have you put your sexual centre into their lips. Your masculine heart and body never leaves a lover wanting to regret their femininity submitting to your masculine thrusts to mutual multiple orgasmic bliss. Those women with eyes to see have confessed how much you made them desire you and your manhood. Your pure masculinity to be seen as a gift to have been given to them for a time. You are all masculine, you are a masculine creature! Your heart knows the energy that feeds it.

You have nothing to hide you can let it show. You are beautiful masculine heart; masculine lips and masculine cock! All of you are beautiful and you work in unison together when the time is right. You have a beautiful heart. It is all man, it is all masculine. It is not at all feminine and it should not be. You feel, you are emotional, but, express them differently. You express them directly and to the point. You express them with strength not weakness. As a symbol of how amazingly powerful and how masculine your heart is. Your brain is completely gendered to the shape of your beautiful masculine heart. You are beautiful! Chris, you are beautiful you are masculinity expressed, you are your heart expressed. Be calm, be cool, relax and just be you.

When you relax your masculine heart can show. You can be you and everyone can see how great you are. You are built by masculinity, you are built on heartfelt manliness, and a loving Machismo that protects, and provides for those you love most. You are all man! Do not listen to anyone too blind to see your true self. Your heart and soul that makes you you! That builds you from the inside of your testosterone soaked cells up to you as you are! Masculinity is beautiful, being a man, A Real Man is beautiful! You are a great, high value, real masculine testosterone based, and heartfelt man! You are more than enough for any worthy woman! Most importantly you are more than worthy to yourself and to be you. You beautiful masculine manifestation of a beautiful internal Masculine Heart. 

Me over the years in pictures

                                                                                                       

                                                                                   

July 7th, 2008 Pride PEI Week kick off event

 2009/10ish Davis and Henderson @ work

 

Me when I was living with my Aunt after my Apartment fire. 

Still living with my Aunt, but, now sporting facial hair.

Last January/February

Still Winter continuing

 

Still Winter

Yes! Yes, this Masculinity has at it's core the protection of people from initiation of harm! Most men are good!

Learning to be grateful for all I have and learning to be able to let in what CAN be

Tonight/this morning I sit here with a roof over my head and food in my fridge. If I had no food in the house I live on the main drag filled with food for sale. I sit here safe and secure; with no psycho bitches or bastards calling my phone or bashing down my door. I have full covers on my bed and pillows under my head. I have indoor heating and a fan on the ceiling.

I have drinks in my fridge and working plumbing in my bathroom. I have working feet, hands and reproductive organs functioning perfectly. I have a functioning brain and the ability to be a rational animal. I have a family that loves me and accepts me as me. I have friends even if I do not see them near enough.

I have a locked door and a police station nearby. I have functioning windows and lungs. I brush, floss and rinse everyday. I have a working shower and clean towels. I have all kinds of masculine hygiene and cleaning products which produce a sniff-worthy manly smell. My hair is still strong and not falling out. I am strong, courageous, proud and also admit to being vulnerable. I love my glasses and no that does not mean I have a "fem side." I have a really big DVD library and it is filled with lots of different movies. Some men have no movies and are homeless on the street. I have so much compared to some.

I have a lot in my life to be thankful and grateful for. I do wish I had a partner and/or at least sex even at times at least. However,. I have access to free adult films at anytime. Something previous generations of men could never think of existing. It does not give the same feeling as having a partner or finding "the one." However, some do not even have that. I do wish I had certain things, but, I need to realize the truth is I have so much more than I used too. I have been so good to be independent and make the world I have around me be as good as it has been now.

I need to realize I am worthy of letting in so much more. I am worthy of a deep and meaningful love with the person of my dreams. I am worthy of trusting the right person when that person comes along. I do not need to rush through life I am only going on 30. Not 130, I have all of life in front of me and I could find my love anytime anywhere. I could find you in a grocery store, at work or even at a pub. You could be almost anywhere and just waiting for me. When I meet you I will know it and I will know you my love.

Until than I need to calm, relax and live. I cannot be running like this is a rat race. I need to relax, keep calm, breath and walk through my life. Not run, not rush, but, calm and relaxed. Embrace all that I have and allow in all that will be able to come my way. For I am worthy of having values in my life. I am worthy of a good life on my own and in the future with the person of my dreams. One day I might meet the one and the person of my dreams. When this happens my life will not be complete, but. complimented.

I will know you when I meet you I will. Whomever you are and wherever you are I will know you. I will not rush I will walk through life nice and slow. Walk, talk and take it slow. Knowing that I have a destination and I will strongly, but, slowly walk there throughout life. I am all man and someone whom can see that will see me and see the man of their dreams. I am a man of values and I am worthy. I am more than enough and I need not rush. This King of his own realm will find his other half.

The person with it is so easy. You are out there somewhere my other half and you are still out there for me. I have yet to meet you, but, when I do I will know it. You are out there somewhere my amazing Queen. Your King on this Earth awaits he is waiting for you here in my modern and comfortable 1 bedroom bachelor pad. Until that time I will enjoy whatever comes my way and not reject the good that is the good. I will be open to let in all that can be and be grateful for what I have in the meantime. Until we meet in the future whenever that might be my future love!

I Am the King of my own Realm and I CAN bask in an abundance of masculine/Alpha Glory!

Lately I have been slowly reshaping my mindset to be completely positive and pure masculinity. Pure Alpha Male mindset and at first it might seem crazy to think that one can simply "work on being more themselves and thus be more manly," BUT,  it has actually worked amazingly well! 

No, I have not tossed away my pink glasses. No, I have not tossed away the occasional Rom-Com, musical or Sex and The City DVD that I own. No, I have not tossed away my purple scarf and replaced it for some more "typical colour." No, I have not done any of these things. My pink glasses are still there. My scarf for the winter is still purple and my DVD collection has not changed. My attitude has and my way I see myself has. I trust myself to do the right thing. I trust myself to even "take control" (wink wink) in some situations and it lead only to mutual bliss. 

I did not do this by pretending to be someone I am not. Far from it; I still have Pink T-Shirts. I still have my "Grey" and "Gideon Cross" novels. I still have a Rainbow Mug in my cupboard and I am still checking out POF accounts for both sexes. What has changed is how I deal with people and how I deal with myself. I am worthy, I am enough and I can trust myself. I can lead, I can be assertive and not be a douche. Being in "control" in certain situations is not being a "jerk" to other people. I can take charge without being a dominating assface. 

I have stopped even caring about being a "nice guy." I care about being a "good guy," or even an "amazing guy," but, "nice," meh whatever. My point of origin on EVERYTHING is what is best for the man in the mirror when I get out of bed. Altruism is poison, self-empowerment and nurturing the self is not just an airy fairy philosophical sometimes, but, an all the time thing. I come first, I and not anyone else. I am whom needs to be happy in my situation and hopefully I can find someone to be happy with. However, if I am not happy no one can join me in that happiness. 

I have been learning to clam down and relax more. I talk slower and have stopped "breathing and talking through my nose." I project my voice from my mask area direct from my vocal cords with self-pride and own my voice. This has made my voice sound clearer and crisper, and also more authoritative when it need be. I have relearned and undone years of damage, of self-hate towards the very sex I was born as. I sit with better posture; big gorilla and not scared little monkey. I always stand with better posture when I can. I do not worry about not always being perfect for there is no one that is perfect. 

During none of this have I changed who I am as a person. I am still not the ideal man a lot of people probably dream about in their fantasies. I am not that knight in shining armor a lot of women want, but, I am also not a pushover cucked bitch either. :) Am I some gym bunny Jock? Nope, still far from it. Am I some book cover of a romance novel? Nope, far from it. But, am I unmanly? Hell no! Am I "effeminate?" Hell no! Not in any sense that I have seen from being in the "GBLT" community for so many years. Am I some mucho, macho fellow now? Hell no! I am also not the extreme opposite "poof" either. 

I am me and I am free. I am free to act on my ideas for I am a good man. I am free to be assertive, to be overflowing with confidence and charm without having to stop being who I am. I am free to be in control when it is given without worrying I am going to harm anyone; for I am a good man. I am free to take the lead, to make the first call, to make the first text and to set up the place, and time of the date. Without the other person thinking I am a dominating asshat. I am free to go in for the kiss first without being seen as a creepy douche. I can take her hand first, I can take initiative with a woman and not be considered some fucked up control freak. 

It is OK to make mistakes it makes for a good laugh and laughing is great for the heart. I needed to learn to really love myself; enough to believe nothing I did would be taken as being "one of those guys." I think one of my worst fears as odd as it sounds was coming off as a "douche idiot." Even if I was doing nothing wrong if I had the same confidence a "douche" can have. If I took her hand first I was afraid I would come off as a dominating freak. If I kissed first when I thought of it would make it seem like I was too all in too fast. Even if the moment might have been so right. What if it was not perfect enough!

What if I made small talk that was boring? What if I my life was too "normal" for someone? What if I acted towards her like I did with my men? Taking the lead to lead her from steamy make-out to full on sex with me without "asking May I?" (consensual of course) I never harmed them, in fact they quite enjoyed every second of it, but, then I would look like "one of those guys." I could never do that after a date with a woman. Why not? I recall once being so paranoid that even mentioning sleeping cuddled next to a woman whom stayed over after the first date was enjoyable I could hardly spit out the words. 

My issue turned out to be not that I was not masculine or capable of being manly. My issue was I was so afraid of the fact I HAD a masculine and Manly Alpha inside me. That came out in things like my Texts to POF girls and my thoughts about what I wanted to "do with and to" women that it frightened me. It frightened me because in my head I was confidently saying things and doing things to and with. Yet, my brain kept being afraid. What if I go for the hand, what if I touch dirty and thrust hard in our dance.. what if she feels I am aroused and want her sexually.. I will look like a pig... especially if I try to act on it. What will she do if I touch her there, I do no want to become a POF horror story because I misread a sign? 

What if I try for something and she pushes me away, and I need to realize I fucked up big time? That I look like a predator, a crazy, a douche a scumbag. What if she tells other people and I became a freak to her? What if I, what if I?? That was the mantra in my head around women. What if? What if? What if I say that or do this? What if I stumble? What if I am not that white knight she wants? What if I am not her ideal man? What if? It went through my head like no ones business. For I was afraid anytime acting on what I wanted to do would be turned into a reason to reject me. I did not want rejected. I could not be rejected again. 

I was so worried about what could be and not the reality in front of me. I was overthinking everything and every word, act I thought over a million times before coming to the conclusion I should spit it out. Thought a gazillion times if I should touch her arm, touch her cheek. kiss her cheek, hold her hand and if I did what if she turned me into that creepy guy that all women rant about from POF when all I wanted to do was give her a wonderful night of magic, but, was not perfect at it. Thought about it so much I usually never did it. Making it seem like I was not even interested probably.

My transformation is built on one core ideal that I am not dating for others. I am not walking and talking for others or their approval; men or women. I am not having sex if it happens for the approval of the other person. I am doing it to peruse my own self-interest and happiness in life. That as long as I do that in a win-win way in which we both benefit the last thing I need to worry about is "making the woman like me by not messing up and being the perfect man." Or by "being super nice and having her love me too death." Or whatnot, I do not need to be nice to "make a woman like me." If they like me they like me and if they do not their fucking loss not mine. 

If I am being authentically me and being so confidently, and, she still thinks I am shit because she is a crazy messed up bitch that is on her, not me! If I am being assertive when it is appropriate and she still does not like me then fuck her and not in a good way. If am down and show my vulnerable side and she spits on it and calls it being a wuss or something, fuck her. If I am being me, looking at the world as my oyster and loving my life, loving me. If she still does not like that, fuck her. Or he if he does not like me being me fuck him too!

It is also not all about dating it is how to approach life in general. Taking it by the horns and riding it like a bull. I am the King in my own Realm and I can bask in the abundance that is out there waiting for me. Including an abundance in masculine/Alpha Glory by women and men that see how much value I bring to their lives and the world. That see I am a high value man and that to not want anything to do with me is their loss and my gain to not need to deal with their negative/crappy attitudes about me. I can take this Kingdom called life and rule it with self-love and masculine pride in myself as the man I have always been, will always be and am becoming even more each day. 

I am Christopher Matthew Fucking Murphy ladies and gentlemen. Hear me roar and howl! I am enough, I am worthy, I rock, I am awesome, I am a great man and I am perfect just as I am! I am an Alpha Beast fuck the haters! I am a man of value! Of all kinds! I am an Alpha Wolf and a Lion filled with Pride for myself and my achievements! In the words of the theme song to "Queer as Folk" .."what have you done today to make you feel proud?" I know what I have done achieve loving me as I am! Being me! That is why I am proud! Cause Christopher Matthew Fucking Murphy Rules his roost! He is a King and you will not stop him from enjoying life anymore FUCK YOU! ALL OF YOU! Including the negative thoughts I am still battling! You too can get lost! ROAR AND HOWL!

I am free to be me and embrace my manhood. Without stress and without struggle manhood is mine! It is in my DNA!

Tonight I am having a great time and I am really relaxed. I am amazingly calm and fine with my life as it is, as I am of myself whom he is. I am not a man with no value and I am not a genetic dead end to our species. I am a man of immense value and I have plenty to offer the right person. 

I am not in need of changing to be a man of value whom would make a great partner/lover/boyfriend or even someday possible husband. I do not need to alter anything about myself to be able to take life and grab it by the horns. All I need is to keep my confidence, relaxation and calm up. I need to keep being me and proud to be me. I am a great man and I AM perfect just as I am. 

I am more than enough for the right person. For the right employer, for the right friends that are true and for the right lover or lovers. I am more than enough and I am worthy of the great things in life. I am of value to let abundance come into my life. In the guise of friends, pleased members at work and of course loving partners/partner in my future. I am worthy of being with the right woman whom can see a man and his values. Whom is not a misandric psycho bitch and treats me/views me right. Whom can see me for the great man I am. 

I am worthy and I am enough! I am awesome! I rock! I rule! I am a King in my own realm! The world is mine and I need to learn to maneuver through it with swagger saying fuck it to those whom are haters. Fuck to those whom are misandric psycho bitches and crazy cunts. Fuck you to those whom cannot see my value. Including fuck you to the small voice in my own head which does not want to believe in the Alpha Beast greatness inside of me. I am an ideal man! As I am me and free! That is all I can be is me! Perfect other than perfectly me is an immense illusion that does not exist. 

I am a great man, a perfect just as I am man! I am me and I am free! Free from needing other people's validation. My Alpha inner masculine beast does not "need" anyone's acceptance or appreciation. However, being reminded how great I am does help me on this journey. I do not need it, but, every little bit helps. Tonight I have been giving myself self-help and self Cognitive Behavior work. Which is taking the place of needing others appreciation and acceptance. Words of kindness will help on this Journey, but, I need to be able to give myself self-love and respect without need for external cause for it. 

I also need to learn not to feel I need to rush everything in life. Just because I am not with my future partner now. Or not the best of best at something now in other areas I could become that in time. There is no telling what time will tell and what will happen in the future. I need to relax and not be fast to do anything. I need to learn to be able to be slow and steady with many things in life. Many things can happen that just have not yet and definitely could happen in time. I also need to realize that I do not need to "struggle" to be masculine I am masculine. I do not need to "fight" to unleash my Inner Alpha it was always in there and slowly coming out more in time. 

My zen of masculine energy is available to me I just need to get in touch with it. It is within me as I am a man and I am made from my DNA as a masculine being, an entity from the bottom up that is itself masculine in kind. I am a great man! I am perfect just as I am! My manhood is my manhood! I own it and define it! My very DNA defines I have manhood! It is in my genes! I was worthy of it the moment I came out of my Mom's womb with a penis not a vagina. I can relax into being me and relax into my manhood. I do not need to stress to be the man I can be, the man I already am and the man I have always been.

 

In Defense of all bisexual males that desire to be with women

I tend not to have anything to do with the broader GBLT community nor with the "Organized Pride" in years a dogs age now. One of things that drove me away was my treatment as detailed in one of my first posts on this page. I was treated terribly by "community," and the broader what I call "Big-Pride." Due to the fact that anyone that is for liberty for all, but, on the Right not left is considered cancerous. Thus "Big" as in big and Authoritarian Pride.

I was treated horribly because of being two things that were hated. One was being an open-out of the Closet Right-Libertarian. The other was being a bisexual male and actually doing things like dancing with women at a GBLT dance. Not in a platonic way, but, in a she as all over me way. In a she wanted me to fuck the shit out of her and I embraced it dirty way. This was then bullied about during bathroom breaks, but, if it was me and another man grinding/dirtying it up I would be cheered on for doing so in public.

This is a seious pattern I have seen not only happen to me, but, a good deal of bisexual men. Oh, it is all good we go both ways, but, heaven forbid you go out in the town as a single bloke where you happen to find a woman is turning your gears for the night and not another man. Heaven forbid you end up inadvertently seducing a lady not a man at the pub. Or go home from a GBLT event to make out passionately with a woman how dare you! Do you not know you are siding with the enemy! Get that pussy desire under control you bi men! Nurture the cock desire! How dare you love/lust so much for women!

Of course the biggest sin is a man that falls head over heels in long term love with a woman. Whom ends up having a long term ongoing relationship with a woman. Who might even heaven forbid end up marrying and having children with a woman. Even if they still have desires for men. If you end up with a woman while going both ways you have killed "community," and you must have no pride in yourself.. You are "trying to be straight and giving into heteronormativity." All of this shit comes towards bisexual men with a strong opposite sex desire.

I would like to say fuck you to the people that have done this to me and also to others like me. I am a bisexual male that was convinced that I was gay, but, was not for years. I am a bisexual male that for all of those years had tingles for the women in my life and repressed all of it. I am a bisexual male who's first inklings of sexual attraction was for the opposite sex. My realization of going both ways came when I was 18, and not before. I am a bisexual male whom at the age of 29 desires to be with a woman that respects me and treats me right. This does not mean I do not like men I do that will never go away.

However, there is a huge majority of the GBLT that does not understand a fucking thing about being bisexual as a man or a woman. Numerous bisexuals of both sexes/genders can tell you that bisexual is not the same as lifetime 50/50 split both ways. Lots of bi men and women are 60 or 70 one and 20 or 30 the other. Although there are bisexuals that are 50/50 split lots of them are not. I am one of those people. I am a bisexual man whom is finding my opposite sex attraction is the more predominant one. Which explains why I kept wanting to kiss, pet and when really drunk fuck the shit out of my girlfriends when I called myself "gay."

There is also the reality of "sexual fluidity" within people with "bisexual attractions." Just because you are into more 50/50 at one time does not mean your "orientation" cannot be "re-orientated" over time fluidity is real in numerous peoples sexual identity. This is not some SJW, far-left PC BS. It is a very real thing that occurs in the human sexuality of non-heterosexuals. Stats show the majority of non-heterosexual people are Bisexual and have a form of sexual fluidity. Also, a very good chunk of people with fluidity do flow towards the opposite sex at some point. Studies also show it is outside of the bisexual/fluid individuals control.

One does not have control over if their brain responds sexually and emotionally to someone of the opposite sex in their life after years of liking the same, nor the opposite way around. There is just something about this opposite sex person that they like and their fire is lit. No different than hetero or homo people not desiring every single person they see and having years of a dry spell. Only to see one person that revs their engine hard and desire builds they have not felt in years. This is the same thing to a bisexuals brain. Expect it has two sexes that are included in that desire or lack thereof.

It also is not in control of the bisexual individual if there brain just prefers one much more to the other the older they get. Being cultivated in one way or the other includes numerous causes and once it happens it is said and done. Bisexual males are facing this the worst though. Bisexual women on the whole are actually accepted fine. Bisexual males are not as much and this is not me playing the victim it is the sad truth. The worst for this is straight women and gay men. Neither seem to like bisexual men all that well. Gay men and straight women both treat it like working for the other team.

Straight women automatically seem to have a view of "he is really gay in disguise," and gay men think that "he is really just trying to play straight, the bugger.. the traitor." It is made all the worse by the GBLT community and organized Pride. Their ideas based on ironically exclusion of bisexual people whom are into the opposite sex more. Whether it is males or females if you are bi and date mostly the opposite sex you are a traitor. As if sexuality is not an individual human trait, but, a sports team or a nation. A collectivist thing and not an individual thing. Yet, that is complete bullshit.

So, get this through all of your small minded, ironically bigot heads. Bisexual males can predominantly like women and it does not make them any less bisexual. It also does not make them any less fit for female companionship you straight ladies. I defend bisexuality that is strongly pulled towards desire for women. I also strongly defend masculine bisexuals and homosexuals as well as not being "straight acting or using a beard." I do not want to get derailed from the topic, but, men are men regardless of where they stick it.

Realizing my own worth will take time, but, I am on my way. This is a space of male worth not shame.

Lately I have been writing a lot about the Alpha Males and there existence or nonexistence. As well as what one is if one does exist. I have been bashing the majority of people's ideas of what alpha is and also trying to see if there is a way to define it more broadly without removing its use per-say. There is also another reason for this investigation, however. 

That is a reclaiming of the term Alpha as a good thing and not just something tossed around by PUA's and the like. Lately I have been finding myself learning to calm down and relax more in life. I am working I will admit on mental issues like anxiety and forms of depression. I am also learning to not be such a perfectionist. It is this need for perfection I wish to remove from the online discourse of Manliness and masculinity. This site is meant to be a positive space for a positive look at manliness, masculinity and yes even Alphaness in men. 

For all of the people reading this blog/site I am very grateful to all of you. This site helps me often to calm down and get my ideas down on digital paper so to speak. The truth is that I am just human like all of you. I know this seems obvious, but, I need to keep reminding myself of this. That I am a great man, a high value man and worthy of overflowing self-compassion and self-respect. This is because I am a man, not a utility and not perfect. Not in the sense of one would normally use it. Not some unobtainable ideal man that is not just like any other. 

Sometimes I go into moments of thinking I should be more and could be more. I have had issues where I do question if I am as worthy as I am. However, the people in my life tell me I am. Of most importance has been my bestie. Also, other friends have also been telling me I need not be questioning myself. I should not be trying to be a "perfect man." I am the perfect man just as I am. Hun I know I am your Alpha. :) ;) :P

I also need to internalize all those great and praising things about me though. I cannot be dependent on other people. I need to work on self-help and my own Cognitive Behavior. I need to let in all those great things said about me and let them nourished within me. I need to realize they are right. I need to realize you are right. That I am a perfect man as I am. That I am great as I am. That I am your Alpha and that is because I am a man of such high value. 

My hope is by having this place be a positive place it will become a place men like myself can getaway from the feeling to be perfect. The need to be on top of our lives and to never make mistakes. The need to always be #1 based on that fake illusion of perfection. This means even in Alpha Maleness, or manliness. There is no perfect Alpha Male nor any ideal man. Not in real life not in the sense of being perfect. We can be morally righteous and perfected in that. We cannot be perfect in the illusion sense though. Being a good person is not the same as aiming for being a perfect man. 

Just because someone is Alpha that does not make them perfect. I am slowly having to learn that no one is perfect and it is really an illusion our brains play on us. I am slowly learning that I am perfect as I am again. I am learning I am not less than the manly man I want to be. That I am not less than as masculine as I feel. That I am in fact very much masculine, I am manly and I am even an Alpha Male in my own way in my own world. That the thing I keep reaching for like the special golden ring is there already. 

That all I need to do is embrace the A which is the A. The man that is the man and all whom he/I am. I am all man, I am all masculine, and god damn it I am not weak because I admit I am vulnerable. I am not some Beta, Cuck wuss faggot for admitting I am capable of being vulnerable. To admit that I am working on myself and that I am on a journey to being all of the men I can be. To admit this does not make me effeminate. Not at all. For being vulnerable and human is not effeminate it is just that human.

I am all man... testosterone runs through my head and my body. I am not girly in the least and my wrists are anything, but, limp. I walk like a man, talk like a man and make love like a man. There is not a single thing that is not manly about me. I am beginning to see that now. I have been being so obsessed with perfection thinking only that would show how much of a man I am. After all people want perfect men not average chumps. Or so they say. I am starting to realize I am not a chump even if I were average.

 

Continuing the warning about the "Alpha" bullshit online including on YouTube and its very dangerous affects on men.

Recently I did an article on here about the bullshit that passes for being Alpha Male among most of the Interwebz. I stated that the most Alpha thing any man can do is to just be whom they are and do it with self-respect/self-belief and with confidence. 

That to follow others and what they do like a Mantra was akin to being a walking moist robot and not to be acting humanly towards oneself. That to follow other men and what they say you need to do to be attractive to women was ridiculous. I further went on to denounce patterns, or techniques. In other words the entire "game" community and the hogwash it spouts about this or that.

This was a call to any of my readers that they did not need to "follow" some guide some other man puts forth online. Nor some "export" puts forth that claims to be some "Maleness" or "Alpha Guru." A call for all men to realize they are enough and they are worthy. They are humans and not utilitarian robots for some world to use as a tool. That includes to be used to repeat and spread BS told to them by some "PUA Guru," or whatnot. In fact, it was a warning of the opposite view being quite dangerous. 

If you treat yourself as some moist robot that just goes out and repeats what others do. You are not really being yourself. Thus you are being a fake and frankly this is irrational and dangerous. It is also self-destroying for it means being a second-hander and not an independent thinking adult human. You are not being your true self. Not being the real man you are if you are just following others rules for dating or rules for picking-up. Or rules to be "Alpha." Instead of just being whom you are and doing it with the right mindset. The right attitude towards life and others. 

This is why the vast majority of Interwebz Alpha-stuff is complete hogwash. It is trying to tell you that you need to be something other than the man that you are. That you should change to what others want. Whether the men that run the blog or change to cater to women. Either way it is dangerous BS and also self-defeating. A woman can tell if you are faking and are doing a routine. You frankly will either A) look silly and be laughed at or B) look like a complete creep maybe even a predator. 

This goes not just for aiming for relationships or sex as a PUA would talk about. This is about everything you do in life in general. Another person can tell if you are faking and putting on an act. It comes across quite easily and will not get you anywhere other than looking like a douche. This is all wrong and totally backwards. Completely and utterly backwards advice which won't even unlock someone's "Inner Alpha" as advertised. In fact, if such a saying means anything it will do the total opposite. 

I contend that if an "Alpha" is anything it is a man just being himself with everyone around them. Not faking himself or reality in anyway. Living totally in reality around him and acting accordingly. What is the best thing or worst thing to do? Figure it out and act, speak accordingly. However, do not "act" as in act like something and be fake. I mean act as in to take action and speak as in to say what is appropriate and on your mind in the context. Also, do not be a douche I cannot say that enough! (PUA's are the fanboys of true manliness.)

Yet, if you look online all over even on YouTube you will find BS. From the standard PUA tips crap to complete Pseudo-Science bullshit like "Alpha Male Subliminal Mind Reprogramming." (Pro Tip anyone claiming that listening to a repeated recording is "reprogramming you" is scamming you!) You will find all kinds of videos for gullible following men. For sheep that want to just soak up anything that claims it will get them pussy. It is frankly quite irritating to see such shit be associated with Alpha anything. 

Further more the entire concentration of "Alpha Male" as this label or box that you must meet for a woman to find you appealing is also very, very annoying. It makes men seem like they need to be this or that to be a man. That simply by being a biological male that is an adult, having gone through puberty and had that rush of testosterone is not a man. That being a man requires more than that and that "masculinity" is a performance or an "act" men put on. Instead of being a natural and instinctive thing from ones evolutionary psychology. Instead of being within every biological male with a masculine brain. Which pushes men to feel they need to do more than just "be" to "be masculine." 

Which is very dangerous as most men; the majority of men have masculine brains. Thus most men are masculine by nature. This does not mean that every woman will have their panties drop the moment you enter the room. That is not what masculinity is; it is simply a byproduct of being confidently yourself for women that swoon for that attribute. Nor would even that guarantee walking into a room means you will get women wanting you to fuck around. Or to be in a relationship with you; that is a gross misunderstanding of evolutionary psychology. 

This is one of the problems with the whole "Alpha Male" movement within men's periodicals in general. So much of it is presented as if this is all about women. Not only that, but, the placebo that it will make you get any woman you want is incredibly dangerous for people. Being confident does not mean that all the women around you will be interested sexually in you or romantically. It just does not mean that. On top of that it makes being a man about others and their needs. As opposed to what you desire to achieve in life. What you want from a relationship and so forth. 

The truth is that life is not about what women want. Nor what other men want, but, what you individually want and what makes you happy in the long term. What is good for you on this Earth in the long term and not about putting others before yourself. Life is not about being a sacrificial animal to the slaughter nor a human wallet. This is where MGTOW has one up on most all Alpha sites out there. The best thing for a man that wants to live his life is to say "fuck women" unless they treat them right. 

I do not think men need to not interact with women ever, but, MGTOW has a good point. About life of men not being about women and modern masculinity not being about them either. I contend that a modern Alpha Male puts sex, and companionship as something lower than taking care of themselves. Making sure they are healthy, happy and whole just as they are without women. That we men need to love ourselves as healthy, whole people with worth without women present at all. If you are a man whom is not a douche and you are on a dessert Island you are enough and worthy. Women be damned. 

By douche I do not mean someone that is not to women's tastes. I mean someone whom is OK with coercion. I mean someone that is not a nice person regardless of being a man. Someone whom if they had a vagina would also just as much be a vile, evil, scumbag. Luckily, most men are not like this and most men are worthy and enough; nay more than enough in some circumstances. Men need to stop looking at outside second-handed sources for validity of their manhood, masculinity or "Alpha." Instead they need to look inside. This goes for all men regardless of orientation. This is not about acting "straight." 

If a man looks inside and gets in touch with his nature as a man he will see that he is all man. When he becomes mindful he can become aware that he is already masculine enough. Because he is by his very nature by his very DNA/Brain make-up masculine. For he is a biological and psychological; physiological male. Masculinity at its most primal and instinctual is coursing through his mind and veins in a little hormone called testosterone. Which is the masculine hormone! You are masculine enough for you are a man! It courses through your life blood. Regardless of whether you fit every single box in a check list somewhere of every single trait like markings on a jar. 

This also means that in every man... YES every man! Regardless of whether they stick their penis in a vagina, another man's anus or both at a level of primate psychology and instincts in all men! Deep inside they are all masculine, manly and have an Inner Alpha Beast. It does not come out in ways one might think though. Some PUA stuff about Alpha Male traits is true, but, it is only part of the story. Also, non-PUA sites that talk about them are also only part of the truer and larger picture. An Alpha Male is NOT what you think it is! Not at all! 

For one human Alpha Males are way different from Alpha's in other species. Lots of information about alpha's does not take into account the differences between Alpha male humans and other animals. There are Alpha Male Traits, but, they are not what you think they are. Well, at least not totally and people whom you would might never "label" Alpha could be and probably are human "Alpha Males." One of the things that is mistaken as "Alpha Male" is being a douche as explained above. It is about being an asshole and such nonsense. Frankly this is just ludicrous and complete BS. 

One often mistakes Machismo for masculinity and being an asshole mucho macho type as being Alpha, but, this is just not the case. Maybe if you think we are hyenas or something, but, not if you realize we are Primates and that Primates are different then hyenas or other species. Frankly someone would not get into places in this world they wanted to go and be able to thrive if they acted like other species alpha's. It is why people can see through them and often laugh or end up throwing their drinks on them at bars. 

Let us start by the realization that there are certain attributes which can get a man into good places. These places include, but, are not guided by other people's bedrooms. These same traits can make men excel in work, and in life in general. However, let us also add to that these same things in women can do the same things. It can get them up the ladder of success. However, often due to biological and genetic differences women do not as often show them. More than likely due to a lack of the hormone testosterone. 

Let us also zone in onto the fact that as this is due to biology men could "tap" into this in their life, but, that does not mean all men are a collective that does have or even is easily able to gain all these attributes. Lots of things differ between individual men which can factor into these things. Including how traumatized the man is from being victim to external threats that have done harm to the man. Some of these traits do vary widely between individual men and not all men show every single one of them. 

For example; not everyone whom is a man wants to lead or be in a leadership position. Even if they are capable of leading or could conjure up an assertive attitude. At least if they are not predetermined by their innate personality to be more submissive. (Which also does happen sometimes.) So, even though assertiveness is an Alpha human trait other just as innate things as the man's masculinity can affect how he expresses it. 

I think people should take a look at Alpha M.'s video on the Modern Alpha Male as a good starting point on how one can be Alpha and not even know it. I know when I looked and found out that on my good days, on my best days I was falling into being Alpha I was really shocked. Me? An Alpha fucking male? Yep, I am according to his criteria. I am one Awesome Alpha Beast of a man according to him! :) 

The idea that an Alpha Male is a douche that orders everyone around him around. Or that he is the idiot jerk that does not treat others justly. Or that he is Mucho Macho jock guy all of that is complete BS. One could be Alpha and be a jock, but, you are not Alpha because you are a jock. Hell, one could be an Alpha and treat others horribly. It is not the fact that the man is alpha that makes him a dick it is his individual person. One is not the reason for the other this is not some collective everyone is an individual. 

However, one could be a complete Nerded out gaming guru with a Gaming Room and be alpha male. One could be the most unknowing alpha ever and still be one. Which is why the entire idea that men's worth comes from if he is or others see he is an alpha is absurd. All men that are good people are more than enough and worthy of all the great things life has to offer. Even if they are as Beta as fuck they are still a man! Men are humans and good humans are worthy! That is true justice! As well as a truly benevolent view of mankind and life on this planet. 

In the end the whole Alpha VS Beta battles on the Interwebz come down to bullshit. For one person's Beta as fuck might just be behind closed with their partner as Alpha As Fuck in other areas. For example; a "nice guy," could go totally Christian Grey Dominating on their partner in private. Safe, sane and consensual of course. Just because one does not swagger around or walk around firing off "Alpha radar" at people does not mean they are not very manly or "Alpha" in other ways. It just could be that every single man is someone's Alpha. They hold the respect of the Alpha male with someone somewhere within their life. 

After all just as beauty is in the eye of the beholder it is very possible that Alpha-Maleness is in the eyes of those whom see that in the person. A person could go their entire lives and not see what the people in their life that think the world of them see. A great man, a Alpha beast and the world being their oyster within their own little part of the world. Some times we are beautiful and are "the ideal man," the "alpha beast," the "great guy." Just as we are, but, we are too blind to ourselves to see. This is why I worry about the push to do this or that to be alpha. The push that men need to "prove their masculinity and manliness." As part of trying to make men better. 

Men are good as they are, they do not need to change and they do not need to "get better." Most men are good people and are not bad people. They might not be perfect, but, there is no perfect. However, they can be perfectly whom they are and whom their primal instincts intend them to be. Which is beautiful for masculinity in its most rawest form is the most beautiful thing. Which includes protecting and providing for those WHOM those individual men DEEM just in having from them. Not all other altruistically, but, those justified as being respected enough. The male of our species is a beautiful thing and it needs to be appreciated once more. Male Suicide rates are the most in your face evidence that men need to be told how beautiful they are just as they are.  

Pretty much 90% of sites with the word "Alpha" are complete bullshit to be avoided at all costs

When one looks up blogs and sites pushed towards men one will find all kinds of sites talking about "Alpha Male Traits." As well as ways to "become an Alpha Male." Having looked at a lot of these site out of curiosity I can tell any of my readers that about 90% of these sites are full bullshit. 

In fact, they present things in a way which could be quite bad if one took them seriously. Most of them talk about how "to become an Alpha start doing.." so and so. The first rule of these sites is "you need to change for you are a Beta, a standard ordinary chump and no wonder you are alone women want what is not you!" They than proceed to tell the men visiting to change this or that. Some even claim to teach men "Alpha Male patterns that will make sure she is going to fall for you." 

This all is so much bullshit I cannot headpalm enough over it. "You are not a man unless you mirror what we do and become a robot." That is what it amounts to and that "what is Alpha is what I do, so, do as I say or women will never like you." Like men copying others and not being genuine is the core of being "a man, manly, masculine and alpha." Not only that, but, by making it seem like women will hate you if you do not act like them it is holding men and their desires for women over men's head. It is the total opposite of what "men should do."

This is because what "men should do," is to just be themselves and do so confidently! You do not become more of a man or Alpha by memorizing some crazy lines or regurgitating patterns like a robot not a human. To begin with hating yourself so much that you want to change everything about yourself you are losing the very thing that brings value to any future friendship or relationship. The self that you are and the value it has just being whom that self is. Do not fake reality and never fake whom you are! 

If there is one thing I have learned in this life is to never lie to others about whom you are. By faking some rules someone somewhere put down for you to be in order to become someone else you are buying into a very cult like mentality. As well as into collective delusion that men cannot be themselves and be valued as whom they are. That they need to change the very core of whom they are in order to be more "manly." Which is the total opposite advice that men should have. 

You want to know what really unlocks your "Inner Alpha" as they say on a lot of men's sites? OK, 3, 2, 1. Never change whom you are for a woman; any woman anywhere for any reason. Just be whom you are and never hide it. Have a personal and internal mental point of origin in yourself and not based on other people. That includes women and other men. Take an inventory of all the wonderful values you have and realize that you do not need to change to have those values. 

Take note that you are a man of value and to really shine just relax into being you. Nature to be commanded must be obeyed. To be able to have any sort of good habits you might be able to pick up you need to know what is natural and normal to you as an individual expression of manhood. Remember that perfection in being a man which so many of these sites sell is an illusion. One which does not really exist. There is no "perfect" men and if there was it would be so boring!!! 

On top of that the idea that there is some bullshit magic pattern that all women will swoon for is completely illogical and goes against Evolutionary Psychology. Yes, we all have instincts and such, but, it is not about patterns or any such nonsense. Yes, confidence does a lot, but, if someone does not like you being as confident or "Alpha" as you want does nothing. Being Alpha-male if anything is being what Allan Franzen calls a "GYB" or "Grab Your Balls" man. Which means not giving a fuck how many women you get. 

By making your life around women and your status with them you are making your life about some random woman somewhere. Not about you and pursuing your own personal happiness. Which is what a grown man should be doing. Pursuing your own personal happiness and enjoying life while you are alive. Before you die and become food for the soil in the ground. Live the life you have while you have it and enjoy it. Life is too short to worry about women or other men. Life is too short for philosophical altruism! 

Want to release your "Inner Alpha?" Start nurturing yourself and become philosophically selfish (as defined by being concerned with the self and what is best for it.) Become rationally egoistic. Not arrogant, not above others, but, not below them either. Start nurturing a proper psychology of self-esteem based on a general self-respect and belief in yourself. Not based on being a special snowflake filled with envy, entitlement and triggered over the world. 

In short fuck following some laundry list of rules that you must do for women or other men to like you. Instead concentrate on your character and being a good person, Not perfect as that is an illusion again. Not even a "nice" guy, but, a good guy a great guy. A good man and being yourself. Seeing how you as yourself are good enough and of value as you are. We all have some level skills that we can use in something. The values are within you just need to look for them and bring them out. 

Nurture your reason, good judgement and ability to work in the real world. Nurture your ability to navigate the world and come back from failure. Nurture your ability to be kind to yourself and never try to be perfect. Whether that is called "Alpha" or "nice," or "the perfect man for whomever." Concentrate on being you and being the best you you can be. That is your Inner Alpha, that is the "perfect" you can be the perfect you; which you can be anytime just by being in touch with whom you are. Even that is not perfect we are all upright walking Apes.