The Flourishing Man Episode 2 | Same-sex Masculinity

In this second Episode the primer on definitions continues as I dispel the notions of same-sex experiences being incompatible with retaining manhood. I will be also citing the same article What is Masculinity from A Voice For Men.

Which can be found at;

www.avoiceformen.com/men/mens-issue…s-masculinity/

The Flourishing Man Pilot Broadcast | What is Masculinity and does it even matter?

In the Pilot episode of The Flourishing Man I tackle the question, what is masculinity? Tracing its origins in grammar to what it means in essence in nature. We will discuss why it matters that a positive and good definition of masculinity exist for people that fall within this definition. Touch on the importance of male role models for young boys and men. Why we need to rescue if you will masculinity from both sides the Barbarism is good movement as well as the Radical Feminist movement.

NoReset x Next Level 2018 - Super Mario RPG Randomizer by Pidgezero_one

"Don't Ask The Reasons Why," by Restless Heart. From The Secret of My Success Soundtrack

*Lyrics*

Alone, on your own
No way to see the end
But here's where the road begins
In time, I know you'll find
Whatever you're searching for
All of your dreams and more

But right now you're feeling
Lost and lonely
Crazy to even try
Just listen to what
You're heart keeps saying
And don't ask the reason why

You've known, all along
It won't be an easy climb
But nothing can change your mind

And now, here you stand
Your destiny's calling you
You know what you've got to do...

Don't you know I believe in you
I'll be there when your dreams come true
And wherever you go you'll always know
My love is by your side

And whenever you're feeling
Lost and lonely, crazy to even try
Just listen to what your heart keeps saying
And don't ask the reasons why
Remember my love is there beside you
You've got to believe it's true
Just listen to what your heart keeps saying
And don't ask the reasons why...

Don't ask the reasons why.

Lisa Diamond and The New Atlantis Report both come to the same conclusions and fairness for non-LBGT people whom has same sex experiences.

I am going to link in this post to Lisa Diamonds work from her latest report she did in the Journal of Sex Research. She is an American Psychological Association affiliated psychologist and also an open lesbian. She comes to the same conclusions that The New Atlantis does that the science does not at all prove the born biologically determined to be Gay hypothesis. That as the APA themselves have stated publicly; there is lots of interacting factors coming together that leads to ones current sexual identity.

She is a fierce defender of everyone's equal rights under the law. She is both a defender of LGBT rights and is the L herself. However, she refuses to lie about what the research actually says. Nor is she comfortable with saying sexuality never changes for people over time. She also states that immutability is not needed to have equal rights. Which I totally agree with. The etymology of ones current sexual identity/orientation does not matter in the defense of equal rights for all peaceful individuals under the law.

However, she comes to the same conclusion on sexual orientation as Lawrence S. Mayer did in The New Atlantis report. In fact, the American Psychological Association has for ages officially said there is no valid scientific experiments which have shown any specific etymology for a non-heterosexual orientation. The APA's Handbook for dealing with LGBT clients it specifically states the following;

There is no consensus among scientists about the exact reasons that an individual develops a heterosexual, bisexual, gay or lesbian orientation. Although much research has examined the possible genetic, hormonal, developmental, social and cultural influences on sexual orientation, no findings have emerged that permit scientists to conclude that sexual orientation is determined by any particular factor or factors. Many think that nature and nurture both play complex roles; most people experience little or no sense of choice about their sexual orientation.

In other words; the American Psychological Association and non-Religious and Not Ex-Gay affiliated therapists has not yet ever found any actual science that proves you are at birth genetically or otherwise biologically determined to be gay, lesbian or bisexual. The idea that the opposite is true and that science has found the definitive gay brain or the definitive gay gene is not at all scientific. It is a narrative that is played in the media by people that think immutability is needed to grant LGBT people their rights. As well as by scientists that make unscientific pronouncements of their actual experiments. The lack of scientific evidence for the determined to be LGBT at birth does not in anyway affect the defense of LGBT rights or ones rights under the law.

I sit here before you someone whom just like Lawrence S. Mayer and Lisa Diamond supports LGBT rights under the law. I am against people being mistreated due to their orientation or identity as such , but, I agree with the lack of evidence for the deterministic hypothesis. The idea that orientation is not determined and even can and does change in people is not at odds with being a proponent of the rights of LGBT people. The Ex-Gay movement hijacked the idea that gays were not determined and it is a package deal to think that anyone that shows actual evidence against the genetic determinism view is also anti-gay. People actually taking on a Gay Identity vs simply same-sex sexual behavior is a very recent phenomenon in our species. Anyone that has looked at cultures in history can see this.

Admitting this is not the same as saying the behavior should be enforced to be stopped externally somehow. I also do not think someone whom has had either a curiosity about or even engaged in some same-sex behavior should feel pressured by external society to identify as LGB either. Individuals should be the ones in control of their sexual orientation identity in society regardless of where they fall among the sexual continuum. This is why I think reports should not be silenced that happen to come to counter-narrative conclusions based on the actual evidence. This is because it does an injustice to all the people that do not fall into the LGBT boxes, but, have had said experiences.

The truth is that behavior and identity are not at all necessarily the same thing. The New Atlantis report and Lisa Diamonds papers both acknowledge the differences between these two concepts. I fully support people owning their sexuality in either direction or no direction at all. I do not think any particular individual LGBT person or Ally is in the right to disavow someones identity if it is not LGBT just because of certain behavior in their past. It is the need to push people into a box you are comfortable with which makes for the erasure of the mostly heterosexuals, bisexual males, and even 100% heterosexuals whom have had same sex experiences in the past. Sexual Tribalism at its worst.

This includes people that change overtime. Someone identifying as gay or bi at one point in their lives and then being heterosexual later. Or the other way as well as is also sometimes the case. It is sexual tribalism to try to say to said person they are bad or wrong, or even lying to themselves for naturally changing overtime. Sexual orientations and identity is not up for democratic debate by some ruling LGBT Counsel that gets to denote whom other people are. Sexuality is a complex thing and it is not the cut and dry thing most LGBT people would like science to say it to be. Reports that acknowledge changes over time and that other categories exist give fairness back to people whom do not fit into some LGBT and their Allies boxes.

I have the same view as the following columnist at Scientific America whom is far from Anti-Gay;

Just as gay people (or people with homosexual/bisexual experiences) who are happy as they are should not be forced to change their sexual orientation, gay people 
(or people with homosexual/bisexual experiences) who want to be straight should have the right to change if they can – and the correct word is “change” – not “cure”. 

At the same time someone that is curious and wants to "change" to living as a gay person or bisexual person coming from the heterosexual realm should be free to "try on the life" if they wish and if they can do so in a mentally safe manor. In the above I added the brackets with the other two categories. However, she mentions in her article herself the difference between same-sex behavior and identity. I once again support LGBT rights. However, individuals sex lives is theirs to decide not other people. Denying natural change over time and pushing immutability as the proper defense for LGBT people is unjust to all people that do not fit any of those categories, but, deserve the same sexual respect as anyone else.

Here is her research https://pdfs.semanticscholar.org/72dc/40ce66723ab7a74ccf1dc29336d33d6e0755.pdf

Sexuality and Gender by Lawrence S. Mayer (The New Atlantis Report in Audio Book form)

https://www.thenewatlantis.com/publications/preface-sexuality-and-gender

https://www.thenewatlantis.com/publications/executive-summary-sexuality-and-gender

https://www.thenewatlantis.com/publications/introduction-sexuality-and-gender

https://www.thenewatlantis.com/docLib/20160819_TNA50Introduction.pdf

https://www.thenewatlantis.com/publications/frequently-asked-questions-sexuality-and-gender

https://www.thenewatlantis.com/docLib/20160906_TNAFAQSexualityandGender.pdf

https://www.thenewatlantis.com/docLib/20160819_TNA50SexualityandGender.pdf

https://www.thenewatlantis.com/publications/part-one-sexual-orientation-sexuality-and-gender

https://www.thenewatlantis.com/publications/part-two-sexuality-mental-health-outcomes-and-social-stress-sexuality-and-gender

https://www.thenewatlantis.com/publications/part-three-gender-identity-sexuality-and-gender

https://www.thenewatlantis.com/publications/conclusion-sexuality-and-gender

From the Frequently Asked Questions of the New Atlantis Report; 

1. Does the report argue that being gay or transgender is a choice?

No. The report explicitly states that “sexual orientation is not a choice,” but demonstrates that, according to currently available scientific research, “biological factors cannot provide a complete explanation” for sexual orientation and argues that “environmental and experiential factors may also play an important role.” The report does not argue that gender identity is chosen, but notes that “almost nothing is well understood when we seek biological explanations for what causes some individuals to state that their gender does not match their biological sex.”

2. Does the report prove that the “born that way” hypothesis is false?

No. The report shows that the “born that way” hypothesis is not supported by scientific evidence. Observing that something has not been proved true is not the same as demonstrating that it is false. What is false is the claim that the “born that way” hypothesis is supported by science.

3. Does the report argue that sexual orientation or gender identity can be changed through therapy?

No. The report argues that “sexual orientation may be quite fluid over the life course for some people” and observes that “only a minority of children who experience cross-gender identification will continue to do so into adolescence or adulthood.” The report does not advocate trying to change — or confirm — a person’s sexual orientation or gender identity through therapy. The report’s authors are especially wary of medical interventions directed at children.

The report argues strongly for better addressing the mental health problems (anxiety, depression, suicide) and behavioral and social problems (substance abuse, intimate partner violence) that non-heterosexual and transgender populations experience at much higher rates than the general population. 

Aaron Smith | Is There a Proof of Ayn Rand’s Ethics?

Ayn Rand Institute fellow Aaron Smith responds to a high-school student’s request for a step-by-step proof of Ayn Rand’s ethics.

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Taking Responsibility for Your Happiness: Insights from Contemporary Psychology (AynRandCon 2016)

In this talk, delivered at Ayn Rand Student Conference 2016, Gena Gorlin discusses how psychological strategies from contemporary psychology can be of assistance when exercising one's free will to choose and shape the form of one's own happiness. Gorlin, a postdoctoral fellow at the Center for Anxiety and Related Disorders, Boston University, spoke on Sunday, November 6, 2016, in Atlanta, Georgia.

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ARI offers educational experiences, based on Ayn Rand's books and ideas, to a variety of audiences, including students, educators, policymakers and lifelong learners. ARI also engages in research and advocacy efforts, applying Rand's ideas to current issues and seeking to promote her philosophical principles of reason, rational self-interest and laissez-faire capitalism. We invite you to explore how Ayn Rand viewed the world — and to consider the distinctive insights offered by ARI's experts today.

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SNES Super Stars 2018 [107] - Super Mario RPG (Any%) by ryan_ford522

SNES Super Stars 2018 [121] - TMNT IV (Any% Hard 1P2C) by Spiriax

Myles Power | Debunking Alex Jones and Wolfgang Halbig's ludicrous Sandy Hook Conspiracy Theories

Sexual Disorientation is a very real phenomenon and it should not be dismissed as a Myth.

I am a survivor of male rape multiple times by the same man and I am also a survivor of years of sexual disorientation. I wanted to once again although in a much more condensed form tell my story as an example of the very real phenomenon known as sexual disorientation from rape. Most people have probably never heard of the term, but, it is known in the literature related to male survivors of male rape. It is when a man whom was a victim of another man starts living as a homosexual or bisexual from assumptions around their victimization.

This is not the same as saying rape or molestation is the cause of homosexuality or bisexuality in the LGBT community. It is saying it is not uncommon for boys and men to make connections in their brain over their reactions during their rape. If the boy or man happens to get erect or even orgasm during his rape his brain codes it as being something he must have somehow enjoyed. Thus he must actually be gay or bisexual and this "incident" or "incidents" is actually showing him who he is. He will from here either think he might be gay or bi, but, hide this idea. Or he will come out as gay or bisexual to others around him.

However, what he is experiencing is not a realization of his sexual orientation, but, instead he is experiencing sexual disorientation due to his rape. Usually at an age in which development is happening in the boy or young man. Although any rape where the man becomes erect or orgasms during their assault the disorientation could get a hold of the survivor. This is what happened to me I was just turning 19 when I was raped, not once, but, for an entire week night after night alone and cold as they say in British Columbia. I had no friends, no family, I was alone and he was all I knew at the time in the Province. I essentially was this other 18 year old's Prisoner. 

However, I had orgasm and maintained erect when he gave me Oral whether I wanted the incidents to begin or continue or not. When I told him that I did not want to have him have Anal sex with me and I did not want to swallow his seed he made me do it. He forced his manhood into my mouth by putting it in despite the fact that I did not want to. He kept thrusting into me despite my telling him I did not want to. This kept up for an entire week. However, that week also contained constant erections when he put his mouth on me, and orgasms as well. In the confusion of my experiences and possibly for my own maintaining of sanity my brain wired the orgasms into my brain as the sign I was bisexual or gay either one.

So, one week of horrific, but, confusing incidents made me convinced I was bisexual and I came out as such as soon as I made my escape from him and returned to PEI where I was safe and sound. Since I convinced myself I was bisexual I acted and behaved as if I was. I would search for LGBT events and I would start going to them first as bisexual, then gay, then bisexual again back and forth over the years. However, as I got older my attraction quote un quote to men slowly faded away as I found myself getting up there in years. It was natural and it just happened over time. During this time I slowly began to come to terms with what happened when I was in BC. That I was neither bi nor gay I was and am straight. The victimizer raped me before I even had a single date, kiss, let alone sex with a woman. So,  I had taken my reaction to my rape as a sign I was gay or bi.

This is a very real phenomenon and it is not just a myth. Yes, it is a myth that a young boy or a man being raped can make you gay. That any and every boy that is sexually harmed will end up living as something other than heterosexual. However, it is not a myth that being sexually abused or raped as a boy or man can make you act out or behave in a gay or bisexual manor. Sexual disorientation will make a person act and behave just as if homosexuality or bisexuality is their nature. Yet, the reasons for this behavior is different entirely in their reasoning than someone whom just happens to grow up to be homosexual or bisexual.

Dr. Joe Kort is a Ph.D. whom has worked with male survivors of rape and other sexual misconducts for sometime, years in fact. He knows all too well that this is not a Myth and writes the following in an article on Sexual disorientation at Psychology Today.

In my psychotherapy practice, I’ve been addressing the many-faceted issue of straight men who have gay sex—how easy it may be to conclude that such men are gay or bisexual and simply in denial of their true sexual orientation, but that this may not be the case. What we find, instead, is that memories about the abuse from another male can become eroticized for a man, which then compels him to seek out same-sex encounters or porn. This does not mean that he is gay or bisexual, though he may have enduring fantasies about gay sex.

Childhood or other sexual abuse of boys or men, perpetrated by another male, may lead a man to again and again seek out sexual encounters with men in an unconscious effort to resolve the guilt and shame he feels around the original encounter.

A boy/or man who has become traumatized from such an event usually becomes quite adept in at compartmentalization—so much so that he may even “forget”.... I encounter more of these situations in my office than you might imagine. I have found that the first step is to see the man who has been abused in individual therapy, working through his grief and his anger at the loss of innocent sexual development, helping him understand how his own sexuality was eclipsed by the sexuality of the perpetrator, leaving him sexually disoriented. He knows that he is straight, but continues to try to unconsciously resolve the tension between his fantasies and his sexual identity by seeking out these gay sexual encounters.

         A man returning from encounters that don’t match his core sexual identity may struggle for hours or days (or years) over such questions as “Am I gay or bi?” when, in fact, he is neither. Nor is he a “sex addict.” Rather, he is compelled to return to the scene of the sexual crime, becoming the little boy/victim trying to figure out why it happened:

• Was it something about me that made him pick me?

• Did I want it?

• Was there something I did or said to get him to do this to me?

• Did this make me gay or bisexual, and am I suppressing it?

Sexual abuse might impact his erotic interests, but this is not the same as orientation.
Bringing the compulsion out of the shadows can help put the man in conscious control instead of under the unconscious control of the compulsion. This is not to say that the fantasies will then go away. They are early imprints that have become eroticized, and will likely be with him for life. The goal is to take mastery of the behavior so that you’re not acting out anymore against your own will.
The next step in therapy is to get the client into a men’s sexual abuse group. I often find that men who have experienced childhood sexual abuse have been silent about it throughout their life. Being able to openly talk about with other men helps reduce the shame, which is huge. Victims of childhood sexual abuse will typically carry the shame of the perpetrator, as well as their own. Getting out from behind the veil of secrecy is necessary if one is to successfully shed this shame.

A person whom is acting out of disorientation can and often does change over time. Some of them have their same sex thoughts gone or some remain with the eroticized thoughts. The goal of the therapy for such a person does not require that they drop said thoughts. Only that they understand why they have them and deal with them in a way that is not harmful to themselves or others. The change can come far before the person even goes for help. Or it can happen while the individual is in therapy for their issues. However, it is the dealing with the Trauma and knowing the truth about your own identity/your own past that is president and not the change as such.

In my case the reorientation to what was before being disoriented happened before I ever sought help with my issues as such. In this way the two things were not related the change and the therapy. This is far different from Reparative Therapy designed with the intention of changing orientation. If the change happens in therapy it is not due to the therapist having any intention of changing the clients orientation. In fact, it is a recovery of the true self and a working on removing the eroticized imprints of the rape/abuse which is the total opposite of the idea of Ex-Gay Therapies.   

And finally, in most instances some parts of the eroticization of the abuse remain. In other words, something that was introduced to him during the abuse has now become part of his sexual fantasies and preferences. Many therapists believe that if the male survivor continues to eroticize anything that came from the abuse they are unhealed.

This is wrong.

From a sexual-health perspective, even after healing from trauma one goes from trauma reenactment to trauma play. The origin of the fantasy might come from abuse, but now it is about play and mastery. I help clients learn to enjoy these fantasies, and eliminate the shame around them. This doesn’t mean they must act them out behaviorally, but they might want to, and that Is fine. However, most choose to keep them as fantasies.

In conclusion sexual disorientation is very real. Sexual abuse and rape of men can and often does effect their view of their sexual identity, even if their orientation itself was what came before the assault. This does not mean that every single man or boy that is abused will act out in a bisexual or homosexual way after abuse from a male. It just means it is one of many outcomes to horrific events that should never have happened in the first place. Especially if it happened at a time of personal sexual development. 

      
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https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/understanding-the-erotic-code/201708/sexual-disorientation-male-sexual-abuse-survivors

http://www.malesurvivor.org/index.php

https://communitysoulwork.org/2017/11/17/sexual-disorientation-and-sexual-abuse/

https://goodmenproject.com/sex-relationships/sexual-disorientation-of-male-sexual-abuse-survivors-lbkr/

On the Non-Initiation Of Force Principle vs the Non-Aggression Principle

The below article was originally posted by Redditor Mr_Koroand it took the words right out of my mouth. In other words he says in wonderful words one of the many issues with the libertarian movement and its context-dropping/reality evading by ripping NIOFP from any context or possible lines of evidence. No infringement or plagiarism intended by posting it on this blog. This is purely for education reasons. Peace!

Abstract

In this post, I discuss what some Objectivists call the Non-Initiation of Force Principle (hereafter NIOFP) and its relation to its ostensible libertarian-counterpart, the Non-Aggression Principle (hereafter NAP). I presume the reader has some preliminary familiarity with Objectivism.

To begin with, I talk about its origin in the Objectivist literature as well as its validation.

Then, I move onto the origin of the NAP, and some of its validations.

Later, I discuss the aforementioned relation and contrast it with other views.

Finally, I recap and add some personal thoughts.

Quick Introduction

u/JamesShrugged said on a recent meme:

[The NIOFP and the NAP] are the same thing. “Aggression” is defined as the initiation of force.

This led me to think about it. On its surface, the issue seems to be purely semantic. I began thinking whether or not aggression necessarily specifies the initiation of force, and what are the implications of using either formulation. The following is the result of my thinking.

The Origin in the Literature and Validation

The NIOFP's earliest appearance is in Atlas Shrugged. In Galt's speech, Galt spends several paragraphs addressing physical force. In essence, he introduces the idea that no man may initiate the use of force against another, and notes the immorality of succumbing to physical force as forfeiting one's judgment. He finishes by relating the issue to the basis of ethics, stating, in effect, that reason is man's means of survival.

There are many other further discussions of physical force which you can find in the Lexicon.

The validation of the NIOFP is grounded in the Objectivist ethics. There are two fundamental elements to this foundation:

• The first element is the Metaphysical Element. Man, being the rational animal depends on reason to survive. His needs are not accounted for by instincts. The goods he consumes can only be created. In other words, in order to live, man must produce his values, and the only means to that end is thought.
• This leads to the second element, the Normative Element. A man, should he choose to live, and thus be rational, must create the values his existence requires. He cannot expect another to live solely for his sake, and create the values he needs for him. And so, taking by force the values another man has created is self-destructive.

Thus we can observe that the initiation of force is immoral. In order to maintain this position rationally, one must rely on its foundation.

The Origin of the Non-Aggression Principle

Locke was the first to originate the NAP, stating that

no one ought to harm another in his Life, Health, Liberty, or Possessions. [1]

Many thinkers, including Thomas Jefferson, John Stuart Mill, and others, maintained such positions thereafter. But to my knowledge, none have based it on the Objectivist foundation prior to Rand.

In fact, we can observe that some thinkers have based their support of the NAP on their support of equal individual rights. Their support of individual rights can be based on a theological basis, like Jefferson's view of rights as endowed by a Creator, or on a utilitarian basis, like Stuart Mill's view.

Interestingly, as previously mentioned, Rand bases the NIOFP on an ethical basis, and not on rights. Although there is a strong connection between the two, that is worth discussing.

The Relation: Equivalency or Contrast?

As we have seen, the NIOFP is necessarily a reference to the principle as Rand formulated it, and in the context of the Objectivist ethics. The principle specifies precisely what is its subject, by using the words "non-initiation of force." It maintains the proper context that validates it also.

Contrast this to the NAP. This principle can be said to be the result of God's edict that all of mankind was created equal; it can be said to be the result of the need for peace and order in society for the Common Good; it can also be said to be the result of the fact that man cannot truly know reality, and thus all action is amoral, so "live and let live".

The crux of the issue is the huge ambiguity in using the word "aggression".

The word "aggression" has two main senses:

1. Unprovoked physical force.
2. A hostile attitude and/or willingness to attack. [2, 3]

And something we should keep in mind is the fact that the intended sense of words is derived from their context. We should also keep in mind the fact that, unless otherwise specified by the speaker, you cannot assign the NAP any context. Given these facts, one can only conclude that the NAP cannot, and should not be a primary in a given discussion.

Conclusion and Personal Thoughts

By now I have shown that the NAP is a context-less concept. In order to validly use it one must tag onto it a context. This weakness, I believe, invalidates the use of the term NAP on its own, and renders its use for the purpose of communication impractical.

Moreover, this leads me to think about how the use of the term NAP without a context is prevalent in the libertarian community and reveals the arbitrariness with which libertarians base their support of freedom. It also validates my concern for the term NIOFP, as it could be tainted by the irrationally used term NAP.