Coercion and minds are opposite, morality and your mind ends where coercion begins.

Sexual Disorientation is a very real phenomenon and it should not be dismissed as a Myth.

I am a survivor of male rape multiple times by the same man and I am also a survivor of years of sexual disorientation. I wanted to once again although in a much more condensed form tell my story as an example of the very real phenomenon known as sexual disorientation from rape. Most people have probably never heard of the term, but, it is known in the literature related to male survivors of male rape. It is when a man whom was a victim of another man starts living as a homosexual or bisexual from assumptions around their victimization.

This is not the same as saying rape or molestation is the cause of homosexuality or bisexuality in the LGBT community. It is saying it is not uncommon for boys and men to make connections in their brain over their reactions during their rape. If the boy or man happens to get erect or even orgasm during his rape his brain codes it as being something he must have somehow enjoyed. Thus he must actually be gay or bisexual and this "incident" or "incidents" is actually showing him who he is. He will from here either think he might be gay or bi, but, hide this idea. Or he will come out as gay or bisexual to others around him.

However, what he is experiencing is not a realization of his sexual orientation, but, instead he is experiencing sexual disorientation due to his rape. Usually at an age in which development is happening in the boy or young man. Although any rape where the man becomes erect or orgasms during their assault the disorientation could get a hold of the survivor. This is what happened to me I was just turning 19 when I was raped, not once, but, for an entire week night after night alone and cold as they say in British Columbia. I had no friends, no family, I was alone and he was all I knew at the time in the Province. I essentially was this other 18 year old's Prisoner.

However, I had orgasm and maintained erect when he gave me Oral whether I wanted the incidents to begin or continue or not. When I told him that I did not want to have him have Anal sex with me and I did not want to swallow his seed he made me do it. He forced his manhood into my mouth by putting it in despite the fact that I did not want to. He kept thrusting into me despite my telling him I did not want to. This kept up for an entire week. However, that week also contained constant erections when he put his mouth on me, and orgasms as well. In the confusion of my experiences and possibly for my own maintaining of sanity my brain wired the orgasms into my brain as the sign I was bisexual or gay either one.

So, one week of horrific, but, confusing incidents made me convinced I was bisexual and I came out as such as soon as I made my escape from him and returned to PEI where I was safe and sound. Since I convinced myself I was bisexual I acted and behaved as if I was. I would search for LGBT events and I would start going to them first as bisexual, then gay, then bisexual again back and forth over the years. However, as I got older my attraction quote un quote to men slowly faded away as I found myself getting up there in years. It was natural and it just happened over time. During this time I slowly began to come to terms with what happened when I was in BC. That I was neither bi nor gay I was and am straight. The victimizer raped me before I even had a single date, kiss, let alone sex with a woman. So,  I had taken my reaction to my rape as a sign I was gay or bi.

This is a very real phenomenon and it is not just a myth. Yes, it is a myth that a young boy or a man being raped can make you gay. That any and every boy that is sexually harmed will end up living as something other than heterosexual. However, it is not a myth that being sexually abused or raped as a boy or man can make you act out or behave in a gay or bisexual manor. Sexual disorientation will make a person act and behave just as if homosexuality or bisexuality is their nature. Yet, the reasons for this behavior is different entirely in their reasoning than someone whom just happens to grow up to be homosexual or bisexual.

Dr. Joe Kort is a Ph.D. whom has worked with male survivors of rape and other sexual misconducts for sometime, years in fact. He knows all too well that this is not a Myth and writes the following in an article on Sexual disorientation at Psychology Today.

In my psychotherapy practice, I’ve been addressing the many-faceted issue of straight men who have gay sex—how easy it may be to conclude that such men are gay or bisexual and simply in denial of their true sexual orientation, but that this may not be the case. What we find, instead, is that memories about the abuse from another male can become eroticized for a man, which then compels him to seek out same-sex encounters or porn. This does not mean that he is gay or bisexual, though he may have enduring fantasies about gay sex.

Childhood or other sexual abuse of boys or men, perpetrated by another male, may lead a man to again and again seek out sexual encounters with men in an unconscious effort to resolve the guilt and shame he feels around the original encounter.

A boy/or man who has become traumatized from such an event usually becomes quite adept in at compartmentalization—so much so that he may even “forget”.... I encounter more of these situations in my office than you might imagine. I have found that the first step is to see the man who has been abused in individual therapy, working through his grief and his anger at the loss of innocent sexual development, helping him understand how his own sexuality was eclipsed by the sexuality of the perpetrator, leaving him sexually disoriented. He knows that he is straight, but continues to try to unconsciously resolve the tension between his fantasies and his sexual identity by seeking out these gay sexual encounters.

         A man returning from encounters that don’t match his core sexual identity may struggle for hours or days (or years) over such questions as “Am I gay or bi?” when, in fact, he is neither. Nor is he a “sex addict.” Rather, he is compelled to return to the scene of the sexual crime, becoming the little boy/victim trying to figure out why it happened:

• Was it something about me that made him pick me?

• Did I want it?

• Was there something I did or said to get him to do this to me?

• Did this make me gay or bisexual, and am I suppressing it?

Sexual abuse might impact his erotic interests, but this is not the same as orientation.
Bringing the compulsion out of the shadows can help put the man in conscious control instead of under the unconscious control of the compulsion. This is not to say that the fantasies will then go away. They are early imprints that have become eroticized, and will likely be with him for life. The goal is to take mastery of the behavior so that you’re not acting out anymore against your own will.
The next step in therapy is to get the client into a men’s sexual abuse group. I often find that men who have experienced childhood sexual abuse have been silent about it throughout their life. Being able to openly talk about with other men helps reduce the shame, which is huge. Victims of childhood sexual abuse will typically carry the shame of the perpetrator, as well as their own. Getting out from behind the veil of secrecy is necessary if one is to successfully shed this shame.

A person whom is acting out of disorientation can and often does change over time. Some of them have their same sex thoughts gone or some remain with the eroticized thoughts. The goal of the therapy for such a person does not require that they drop said thoughts. Only that they understand why they have them and deal with them in a way that is not harmful to themselves or others. The change can come far before the person even goes for help. Or it can happen while the individual is in therapy for their issues. However, it is the dealing with the Trauma and knowing the truth about your own identity/your own past that is president and not the change as such.

In my case the reorientation to what was before being disoriented happened before I ever sought help with my issues as such. In this way the two things were not related the change and the therapy. This is far different from Reparative Therapy designed with the intention of changing orientation. If the change happens in therapy it is not due to the therapist having any intention of changing the clients orientation. In fact, it is a recovery of the true self and a working on removing the eroticized imprints of the rape/abuse which is the total opposite of the idea of Ex-Gay Therapies. 

And finally, in most instances some parts of the eroticization of the abuse remain. In other words, something that was introduced to him during the abuse has now become part of his sexual fantasies and preferences. Many therapists believe that if the male survivor continues to eroticize anything that came from the abuse they are unhealed.

This is wrong.

From a sexual-health perspective, even after healing from trauma one goes from trauma reenactment to trauma play. The origin of the fantasy might come from abuse, but now it is about play and mastery. I help clients learn to enjoy these fantasies, and eliminate the shame around them. This doesn’t mean they must act them out behaviorally, but they might want to, and that Is fine. However, most choose to keep them as fantasies.

In conclusion sexual disorientation is very real. Sexual abuse and rape of men can and often does effect their view of their sexual identity, even if their orientation itself was what came before the assault. This does not mean that every single man or boy that is abused will act out in a bisexual or homosexual way after abuse from a male. It just means it is one of many outcomes to horrific events that should never have happened in the first place. Especially if it happened at a time of personal sexual development.

    
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/understanding-the-erotic-code/201708/sexual-disorientation-male-sexual-abuse-survivors

http://www.malesurvivor.org/index.php

https://communitysoulwork.org/2017/11/17/sexual-disorientation-and-sexual-abuse/

https://goodmenproject.com/sex-relationships/sexual-disorientation-of-male-sexual-abuse-survivors-lbkr/

Sexual Disorientation is a very real phenomenon and it should not be dismissed as a Myth.

I am a survivor of male rape multiple times by the same man and I am also a survivor of years of sexual disorientation. I wanted to once again although in a much more condensed form tell my story as an example of the very real phenomenon known as sexual disorientation from rape. Most people have probably never heard of the term, but, it is known in the literature related to male survivors of male rape. It is when a man whom was a victim of another man starts living as a homosexual or bisexual from assumptions around their victimization.

This is not the same as saying rape or molestation is the cause of homosexuality or bisexuality in the LGBT community. It is saying it is not uncommon for boys and men to make connections in their brain over their reactions during their rape. If the boy or man happens to get erect or even orgasm during his rape his brain codes it as being something he must have somehow enjoyed. Thus he must actually be gay or bisexual and this "incident" or "incidents" is actually showing him who he is. He will from here either think he might be gay or bi, but, hide this idea. Or he will come out as gay or bisexual to others around him.

However, what he is experiencing is not a realization of his sexual orientation, but, instead he is experiencing sexual disorientation due to his rape. Usually at an age in which development is happening in the boy or young man. Although any rape where the man becomes erect or orgasms during their assault the disorientation could get a hold of the survivor. This is what happened to me I was just turning 19 when I was raped, not once, but, for an entire week night after night alone and cold as they say in British Columbia. I had no friends, no family, I was alone and he was all I knew at the time in the Province. I essentially was this other 18 year old's Prisoner. 

However, I had orgasm and maintained erect when he gave me Oral whether I wanted the incidents to begin or continue or not. When I told him that I did not want to have him have Anal sex with me and I did not want to swallow his seed he made me do it. He forced his manhood into my mouth by putting it in despite the fact that I did not want to. He kept thrusting into me despite my telling him I did not want to. This kept up for an entire week. However, that week also contained constant erections when he put his mouth on me, and orgasms as well. In the confusion of my experiences and possibly for my own maintaining of sanity my brain wired the orgasms into my brain as the sign I was bisexual or gay either one.

So, one week of horrific, but, confusing incidents made me convinced I was bisexual and I came out as such as soon as I made my escape from him and returned to PEI where I was safe and sound. Since I convinced myself I was bisexual I acted and behaved as if I was. I would search for LGBT events and I would start going to them first as bisexual, then gay, then bisexual again back and forth over the years. However, as I got older my attraction quote un quote to men slowly faded away as I found myself getting up there in years. It was natural and it just happened over time. During this time I slowly began to come to terms with what happened when I was in BC. That I was neither bi nor gay I was and am straight. The victimizer raped me before I even had a single date, kiss, let alone sex with a woman. So,  I had taken my reaction to my rape as a sign I was gay or bi.

This is a very real phenomenon and it is not just a myth. Yes, it is a myth that a young boy or a man being raped can make you gay. That any and every boy that is sexually harmed will end up living as something other than heterosexual. However, it is not a myth that being sexually abused or raped as a boy or man can make you act out or behave in a gay or bisexual manor. Sexual disorientation will make a person act and behave just as if homosexuality or bisexuality is their nature. Yet, the reasons for this behavior is different entirely in their reasoning than someone whom just happens to grow up to be homosexual or bisexual.

Dr. Joe Kort is a Ph.D. whom has worked with male survivors of rape and other sexual misconducts for sometime, years in fact. He knows all too well that this is not a Myth and writes the following in an article on Sexual disorientation at Psychology Today.

In my psychotherapy practice, I’ve been addressing the many-faceted issue of straight men who have gay sex—how easy it may be to conclude that such men are gay or bisexual and simply in denial of their true sexual orientation, but that this may not be the case. What we find, instead, is that memories about the abuse from another male can become eroticized for a man, which then compels him to seek out same-sex encounters or porn. This does not mean that he is gay or bisexual, though he may have enduring fantasies about gay sex.

Childhood or other sexual abuse of boys or men, perpetrated by another male, may lead a man to again and again seek out sexual encounters with men in an unconscious effort to resolve the guilt and shame he feels around the original encounter.

A boy/or man who has become traumatized from such an event usually becomes quite adept in at compartmentalization—so much so that he may even “forget”.... I encounter more of these situations in my office than you might imagine. I have found that the first step is to see the man who has been abused in individual therapy, working through his grief and his anger at the loss of innocent sexual development, helping him understand how his own sexuality was eclipsed by the sexuality of the perpetrator, leaving him sexually disoriented. He knows that he is straight, but continues to try to unconsciously resolve the tension between his fantasies and his sexual identity by seeking out these gay sexual encounters.

         A man returning from encounters that don’t match his core sexual identity may struggle for hours or days (or years) over such questions as “Am I gay or bi?” when, in fact, he is neither. Nor is he a “sex addict.” Rather, he is compelled to return to the scene of the sexual crime, becoming the little boy/victim trying to figure out why it happened:

• Was it something about me that made him pick me?

• Did I want it?

• Was there something I did or said to get him to do this to me?

• Did this make me gay or bisexual, and am I suppressing it?

Sexual abuse might impact his erotic interests, but this is not the same as orientation.
Bringing the compulsion out of the shadows can help put the man in conscious control instead of under the unconscious control of the compulsion. This is not to say that the fantasies will then go away. They are early imprints that have become eroticized, and will likely be with him for life. The goal is to take mastery of the behavior so that you’re not acting out anymore against your own will.
The next step in therapy is to get the client into a men’s sexual abuse group. I often find that men who have experienced childhood sexual abuse have been silent about it throughout their life. Being able to openly talk about with other men helps reduce the shame, which is huge. Victims of childhood sexual abuse will typically carry the shame of the perpetrator, as well as their own. Getting out from behind the veil of secrecy is necessary if one is to successfully shed this shame.

A person whom is acting out of disorientation can and often does change over time. Some of them have their same sex thoughts gone or some remain with the eroticized thoughts. The goal of the therapy for such a person does not require that they drop said thoughts. Only that they understand why they have them and deal with them in a way that is not harmful to themselves or others. The change can come far before the person even goes for help. Or it can happen while the individual is in therapy for their issues. However, it is the dealing with the Trauma and knowing the truth about your own identity/your own past that is president and not the change as such.

In my case the reorientation to what was before being disoriented happened before I ever sought help with my issues as such. In this way the two things were not related the change and the therapy. This is far different from Reparative Therapy designed with the intention of changing orientation. If the change happens in therapy it is not due to the therapist having any intention of changing the clients orientation. In fact, it is a recovery of the true self and a working on removing the eroticized imprints of the rape/abuse which is the total opposite of the idea of Ex-Gay Therapies.   

And finally, in most instances some parts of the eroticization of the abuse remain. In other words, something that was introduced to him during the abuse has now become part of his sexual fantasies and preferences. Many therapists believe that if the male survivor continues to eroticize anything that came from the abuse they are unhealed.

This is wrong.

From a sexual-health perspective, even after healing from trauma one goes from trauma reenactment to trauma play. The origin of the fantasy might come from abuse, but now it is about play and mastery. I help clients learn to enjoy these fantasies, and eliminate the shame around them. This doesn’t mean they must act them out behaviorally, but they might want to, and that Is fine. However, most choose to keep them as fantasies.

In conclusion sexual disorientation is very real. Sexual abuse and rape of men can and often does effect their view of their sexual identity, even if their orientation itself was what came before the assault. This does not mean that every single man or boy that is abused will act out in a bisexual or homosexual way after abuse from a male. It just means it is one of many outcomes to horrific events that should never have happened in the first place. Especially if it happened at a time of personal sexual development. 

      
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/understanding-the-erotic-code/201708/sexual-disorientation-male-sexual-abuse-survivors

http://www.malesurvivor.org/index.php

https://communitysoulwork.org/2017/11/17/sexual-disorientation-and-sexual-abuse/

https://goodmenproject.com/sex-relationships/sexual-disorientation-of-male-sexual-abuse-survivors-lbkr/

Victim is not code word for female or feminine. Being a victim does not remove a man's balls.

Recently the #MeToo has blown up on Twitter following the exposing of Harvey Weinstein within Hollywood. During this time many men started trying to include their own stories of being victims of sexual assault or sexual harassment. Yet, as soon as these men came out as being at one time victims they were told they were not to talk because it was taking the light off of "the real victims women." That they were trying to take the wind out of the sales of the hashtag.

There was a serious lack of any empathy for victims that was not within their own sex/gender. A serious lack of any caring about the stories that men had to share. Men came out about being molested, raped, harassed and what are they told to sit down and shut up because the women are talking. Or even more shameful when it was looked over these men were told they knew what it was like to be a woman. Or told other men would now be their enemies because they were exposing feminine traits.

No, these men are not now "female typical." No, these men are not now feminine because some low life abused them and used them. In fact, a fair number of the people that came out talked about women as perpetrators and not other men. So, where is the "toxic masculinity" in these experiences? Surely, if you were to call it toxic anything surely it would be toxic femininity. It does not take having a vagina to be a victim in this world. Any human can be a victim and any other human could victimize as we are all human.

Victim is not a code word for females or feminine. The last time I checked male victims of sexual predation did not get their genitals cut off. Nor the last time I checked is there any sort of historical standard of only women or feminine people being victims. Men die all the time at the hands of both sexes. Men get abused and attacked by both sexes. Men get raped, molested and exploited as well not just women. Men of all shapes and sizes. From the most chiseled abs to the skinniest bro all of them can become victims at the hands of a vile piece of trash low life.

There is an empathy gap here between men and women. Women like those seeming to pop up in this hashtag are actively helping to widen the gap between this empathy. Men whom are victims should not be met with women saying they matter more because they are women. There needs to be just as much acknowledgement of men being human and worthy of empathy as any woman that has been abused. In addition, men should not be seen as having their balls removed due to being a victim at some point. Men do not become more feminine due to being victims at some point. Male victims remain all man.

The New Atlantis vilified for nothing and raked over the coals due to a crass assumption of hate

In  2016 two different reports containing their sources and a huge bibliography of primary sources on Gender Identity and Sexual Identity/Orientation were released. Both pointed to a lot of the same documentation and both came to the same conclusion. One was written by Lesbian Psychologist Dr. Lisa Diamond and was simply ignored and buried in the dustbin of 2016 history. The other one saying basically the same thing that orientation/identity is not stable for most same sex behaving in humans was vilified. Both of these studies again used a lot of the same sources and came to the same conclusions, but, one was not misscharacterized and called a hate study. 

I am referring to The New Atlantis report on Sexual and Gender Identity. Which was lambasted as being a hate screed by people whom never even read the study and did not even know what it said. Things like that it supported the ex-gay movement were stated which is patently false. No where in the entire study does it say people should attempt to will the changes it finds in peoples orientations/identities and fluidity. In fact, it goes out of its way to say there is no evidence any of the changes were willed through external use of therapy. Only that it happens and it is not talked about by sexuality scientists among the popular press. 

It links in its bibliography the works of openly non-heterosexuals whose studies they take from in their work. It is not taken from studies from people like NARTH or the likes of Exodus International. It is taken from the actual data on hand for both sexuality and gender identity. The fact is that sexuality for many people changes over time. Most same sex behavior is not the same as same sex identity. Most people whom were with same sex individuals when younger are not in fact homosexual in the exclusive definition. Most people are not gay, even if they engage in same sex behavior. Most people do have some capacity to go either way and bat for either team without any sort of mental incongruity whom experience same sex desires. 

The vast majority of humans are some form of heterosexual from somewhat to exclusive. Most humans do not exclusively get aroused only by the same sex. Bisexuality is this very phenomenon in action. It is the combination of some form of heterosexual reproductive possibility combined with a differing level of homosexual non-reproductive possibility under differing environmental conditions, cultures, and, relationship prospects. Most LGBTQ people are in fact this sort of human and not exclusively LG or Q if Q means same sex desiring. In fact, most people that inhibit the B are mostly Straight as well. It is unlikely even if one identifies as Bisexual to really be as homosexual tending as heterosexual tending. Most bisexuals are not 50/50 at all in this regard. Again this does not excuse people whom support Conversion Therapies. It is simply a matter of human demographics and facts/data. 

This is not a condemnation of people whom are exclusively gay at all. This is simply stating the facts and data as they exist. A certain percentage albeit quite small of the LGBTQ are indeed lifelong no heterosexuality possible homosexuals. However, those are the vast minority of the LGBTQ group. This does not mean one should be forced to change if one COULD play for either team and ends up playing for the same sex due to something stopping them from acting on their heterosexual possibility if they go both ways either. This is simply a report of all the data and comes to the same conclusion that Lisa Diamond does. The "Born This Way" argument and "Gay Gene" argument is flawed because most LGBTQ people are not "determined to be gay or lesbian or even bisexual.. some form of heterosexuality is the most stable form of identity or orientation over time in a range." Again, this is not something willed through therapy it is a natural change and the precise mechanisms are as yet unknown. 

I am not here saying because some form of of heterosexual ranging from equally as much as homosexual all the way up to completely heterosexual is the norm for people that have dabbled on the same sex team one should go out there and persuade their favorite gay to try being straight for a while. No, you should ABSOLUTELY NOT pressure anyone into a manipulated sex act for sake of a possible thing that might be for them. However, if your favorite gay decides completely without pressure in a very much not anti-gay open society to try on the vag and actually get off on it more than the D and switches teams out of nowhere due to a discovered locked away hetero-possibility of sexual flexibility you should equally not pressure him to rejoin the gay team. I am arguing for a which team you are on and why does not fucking matter worldview. Nature or Nurture or both. 

I am arguing for a my bedroom is my business and why are you even assuming anything about what makes my junk tingle based on stereotypes view. I am arguing for a it does not matter if genes play a role when it comes to freedom of sexual activity between consenting adults view. It could come to pass a Gay Gene does not even exist and that Womb environment plays a role in biological sex differences, but, not really lack of heterosexuality as such. This would make no difference on the underlying moral argument for same sex equality of rights or at least it should not. This report is not anti gay at all and I present the Preface as proof quoted below. 

Readers wondering about this report’s synthesis of research from so many different fields may wish to know a little about its lead author. I am a full-time academic involved in all aspects of teaching, research, and professional service. I am a biostatistician and epidemiologist who focuses on the design, analysis, and interpretation of experimental and observational data in public health and medicine, particularly when the data are complex in terms of underlying scientific issues. I am a research physician, having trained in medicine and psychiatry in the U.K. and received the British equivalent (M.B.) to the American M.D. I have never practiced medicine (including psychiatry) in the United States or abroad. I have testified in dozens of federal and state legal proceedings and regulatory hearings, in most cases reviewing scientific literature to clarify the issues under examination. I strongly support equality and oppose discrimination for the LGBT community, and I have testified on their behalf as a statistical expert.

I have been published in many top-tier peer-reviewed journals (including The Annals of Statistics, Biometrics, and American Journal of Political Science) and have reviewed hundreds of manuscripts submitted for publication to many of the major medical, statistical, and epidemiological journals (including The New England Journal of Medicine, Journal of the American Statistical Association, and American Journal of Public Health).

I am currently a scholar in residence in the Department of Psychiatry at Johns Hopkins School of Medicine and a professor of statistics and biostatistics at Arizona State University. Up until July 1, 2016, I also held part-time faculty appointments at the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health and School of Medicine, and at the Mayo Clinic.

A

n undertaking as ambitious as this report would not be possible without the counsel and advice of many gifted scholars and editors. I am grateful for the generous help of Laura E. Harrington, M.D., M.S., a psychiatrist with extensive training in internal medicine and neuroimmunology, whose clinical practice focuses on women in life transition, including affirmative treatment and therapy for the LGBT community. She contributed to the entire report, particularly lending her expertise to the sections on endocrinology and brain research. I am indebted also to Bentley J. Hanish, B.S., a young geneticist who expects to graduate medical school in 2021 with an M.D./Ph.D. in psychiatric epidemiology. He contributed to the entire report, particularly to those sections that concern genetics. 

 

I

 dedicate my work on this report, first, to the LGBT community, which bears a disproportionate rate of mental health problems compared to the population as a whole. We must find ways to relieve their suffering.

As citizens, scholars, and clinicians concerned with the problems facing LGBT people, we should not be dogmatically committed to any particular views about the nature of sexuality or gender identity; rather, we should be guided first and foremost by the needs of struggling patients, and we should seek with open minds for ways to help them lead meaningful, dignified lives.

For more from the report showing how not ant-LGBTQ it really is one need only look at what the FAQ says on these matters.

1. Does the report argue that being gay or transgender is a choice?

No. The report explicitly states that “sexual orientation is not a choice,” but demonstrates that, according to currently available scientific research, “biological factors cannot provide a complete explanation” for sexual orientation and argues that “environmental and experiential factors may also play an important role.” The report does not argue that gender identity is chosen, but notes that “almost nothing is well understood when we seek biological explanations for what causes some individuals to state that their gender does not match their biological sex.”

2. Does the report prove that the “born that way” hypothesis is false?

No. The report shows that the “born that way” hypothesis is not supported by scientific evidence. Observing that something has not been proved true is not the same as demonstrating that it is false. What is false is the claim that the “born that way” hypothesis is supported by science.

3. Does the report argue that sexual orientation or gender identity can be changed through therapy?

No. The report argues that “sexual orientation may be quite fluid over the life course for some people” and observes that “only a minority of children who experience cross-gender identification will continue to do so into adolescence or adulthood.” The report does not advocate trying to change — or confirm — a person’s sexual orientation or gender identity through therapy. The report’s authors are especially wary of medical interventions directed at children.

The report argues strongly for better addressing the mental health problems (anxiety, depression, suicide) and behavioral and social problems (substance abuse, intimate partner violence) that non-heterosexual and transgender populations experience at much higher rates than the general population. 

4. The report questions the meaning of “sexual orientation” and related terms. Doesn’t the American Psychological Association provide a definition?

The report includes an extensive discussion (see pages 15 to 25) of the APA’s definition of “sexual orientation” and the lack of consistency in the way this and related terms have been used in scientific studies. Reading a range of studies in this field will show that this ambiguity presents a significant challenge for research design and interpretation. The report quotes two respected scholars, Lisa M. Diamond and Ritch C. Savin-Williams, on this point:

The more carefully researchers map these constellations — differentiating, for example, between gender identity and sexual identity, desire and behavior, sexual versus affectionate feelings, early-appearing versus late-appearing attractions and fantasies, or social identifications and sexual profiles — the more complicated the picture becomes because few individuals report uniform inter-correlations among these domains.

Lisa Diamond has also observed that “there is currently no scientific or popular consensus on the exact constellation of experiences that definitively ‘qualify’ an individual as lesbian, gay, or bisexual.”

5. Did the authors simply pick the studies that would support their conclusions?

No. Throughout the report, Drs. Mayer and McHugh take care to describe and explain the evidence on all sides of the questions they discuss. At the beginning of Part Two, they explain their methodology in reviewing the scientific literature related to mental health outcomes and social stress:

[E]ach section begins by summarizing the most extensive and reliable meta-analyses — papers that compile and analyze the statistical data from the published research literature. For some areas of research, no comprehensive meta-analyses have been conducted, and in these areas we rely on review articles that summarize the research literature without going into quantitative analyses of published data.... [W]e also discuss a few select studies that are of particular value because of their methodology, sample size, controls for confounding factors, or ways in which concepts such as heterosexuality or homosexuality are operationalized; and we discuss key studies published after the meta-analyses or review articles were published.

“Sexuality and Gender” is 143 pages long and cites nearly 200 peer-reviewed studies in 373 notes. Nevertheless, no scientific paper can address every previous study in its field, and no methodology for selecting studies is beyond criticism. Drs. Mayer and McHugh “readily acknowledge that this report is neither an exhaustive analysis of the subjects it addresses nor the last word on them.” Readers who are able to cite specific studies not examined in the report, and to explain why those studies should have been included, will make positive contributions to the public discourse.

6. Haven’t several critics cited a recent paper by J. Michael Bailey that should have been included?

The authors of “Sexuality and Gender” sought to offer an up-to-date review of the scientific literature, and included seven papers from 2015 and four from 2016. The paper by Professor Bailey and his colleagues, the publication date of which is September 2016, became available online on April 25, 2016, and reached the authors and editors of The New Atlantis report too late to be included.

One critic has asserted that the publication of “Sexuality and Gender” should have been delayed to allow time to include the Bailey paper. But any fair-minded scholar will acknowledge that to pause in the preparation of a scientific paper, especially at the end, every time another relevant article becomes available, would mean never finishing. (The Bailey paper, for instance, cites no peer-reviewed articles from 2016, and only four from 2015. Ritch Savin-Williams, in a commentary that accompanies Professor Bailey’s paper, cites three 2015 papers and four 2016 or “in press” papers that Bailey left out.)

7. Does the Bailey paper differ in its conclusions from “Sexuality and Gender”?

Professor Bailey has written that he agrees with some, though not all, of the major findings of “Sexuality and Gender.” Importantly, he agrees that the social stress model alone does not account for the mental health problems experienced by LGBT populations, that the idea that gender identity is innate and fixed is not consistent with the scientific evidence, and that all of these issues should be studied more openly and rigorously by scientists.

Though the subject matter of “Sexuality and Gender” overlaps with that of the Bailey paper, one difference is that Bailey and his colleagues focus on criticizing environmental explanations for sexual orientation. Drs. Mayer and McHugh did not find that there were many plausible environmental explanations for sexual orientation, and so they focused on discussing the more prominent biological explanations and their shortcomings. As Ritch Savin-Williams observes in his commentary on the Bailey paper, “scholars disagree as to the prominence and interpretation they give to particular findings.”

8. Do contending papers and studies get us anywhere?

It is tempting to think not. It sometimes seems that, as one writer has put it, for every study there is an equal and opposite study. And in the accompanying commentary on the Bailey paper, Ritch Savin-Williams writes:

Although [Bailey’s] coverage is indeed wide-ranging, it is somewhat restricted in that an equally celebrated assemblage of scholars might have produced a different manuscript in terms of topics reviewed and conclusions reached.

Nevertheless, the presence of disagreement does not imply the absence of truth, only that debate between scholars is a necessary part of discovering the truth, even in the empirical sciences. For this reason, “Sexuality and Gender” does not claim to be the last word any more than the Bailey paper does.

9. Does “Sexuality and Gender” qualify as a “study,” since it presents no new data?

The report is not a study; it is a scientific review of the literature. It tells us what science, at this stage, does and does not support. And it clears away many false claims about what is allegedly known. 

10. If “Sexuality and Gender” is not a study, does that mean it contains nothing new?

Something that has been published previously may not necessarily be widely known or well understood. Drs. Mayer and McHugh believe there is a clear gap between the certainty with which beliefs about sexual orientation and gender identity seem to be commonly held, and what the science actually shows. 

A large majority of articles in peer-reviewed journals are written for a small number of scholars and are available only through subscriptions that cost hundreds of dollars. Even lay readers who try to stay informed on scientific issues do not have easy access to most scientific journals, and usually do not have the background to draw independent conclusions from articles written by experts for other experts. “Sexuality and Gender” seeks to improve public understanding of the issues it addresses by analyzing a large body of research, explaining it clearly for non-experts, and making the explanation available free of charge. 

 Why publish this report now?

The publication of “Sexuality and Gender” follows three years of close study of the scientific literature and consultation with experts from the biological, psychological, and social sciences. Current events may make the report more or less timely, but its lengthy and thorough preparation was guided by enduring public health concerns and a wish to correctly depict the science.

Given the status of science in our society, political leaders, opinion-makers, medical practitioners, and the general public benefit from rigorous independent analyses of scientific findings. There is often a large gap between the certainty of our beliefs about these matters and what the science shows.

As stated above it is a scientific review of tons and tons of the scientifically peer-reviewed literature on sexuality and gender identity. It is taking what is already out there and making it easier to digest by essentially making an easy to understand meta-report or analysis of the data. Even if their interpretation was biased it links to all its sources all you need to do is be a first-handed independent thinker and click each link to see if they reported it correctly. I have actually done just that and I have clicked on their links. I have checked their sources and they are correct.

All of the sources point to sexual orientation being fluid and changing over time in most people towards some form of heterosexual. Whether a cross-orientation mix of high heterosexuality and some homosexuality AKA bisexual. Or to mostly heterosexual or to complete heterosexuality. Naturally over time by what mechanism we do not yet know. However, when openly unashamed both Lesbian and Feminist Psychologist Lisa Diamond says this too in her own work citing specifically heterosexual identifications of different kinds are the norm over the long range in human orientation she is just ignored. When she too says 85-90% of opposite-sex typical children grow up to be not trans and not to be dysphoric in the long term she is just ignored.

Yet, when the same sources including her own research is re-cited in The New Atlantis by a person and main editor whom admits to supporting LGBTQ equality it is deemed hatred or pseudo-science. It shows a lack of want to believe in the existence of sexual fluidity, changes in any form even not brainwashed, forced or compelled/pressured. The lack of want to believe that opposite sex couplings are very, very much the most common even if the facts bare it out. Or do they also think Lesbian Psychologist Lisa Diamond whom testified to legalize same sex marriage whom has found this same pattern is a self-hating Dyke?

The truth is there are way more opposite sex attracted people than there is exclusively same sex attracted people. The truly 100% no budging, not even a little bi, gay community needs to admit they are a very small minority. Their having rights does not depend at all upon them being a majority. After all the individual is the smallest minority in the world and each one of us has individualized human rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness as they say in the US Constitution and damn right they are!

   

Even if Therapy could hasten or assist heterosexual potential for people capable of playing on either team. That still would not mean it should be pressured on people to take on board such therapy. You have life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness regardless of whom you sleep with or love. 

The Reaping and Raping of Mind & Body ----- The Eyes Of A Stranger

The year was 2008, the band was Flat Brew and the song was "Eyes of a Stranger." In the year 2008 the song, "Eyes Of a Stranger" was written. It was written by Michael Segoiun and myself while drinking beers hanging at his place. This was our Folk Band and I had just been through a crazy time. A time that not many people know about, but, I was a part of it. Most people do not know I had just recently been victimized twice more. One I remember and the other one is a might have been, but, do not know.

Earlier that year I had been in a committed relationship with a woman named Cara M. I will not use their last name to keep their privacy. Our relationship was great; sexually and emotionally we loved each other very much at the time. However, it came to a dead halt one night after mentioning that I was at the time still identifying as Bi even though I was with her. I also mentioned that I thought her ex was cute. This was an extremely drunk conversation after a party we had gone to together. She broke up with me the next morning.

Very soon after like a few days I was online and a person whom I met somehow and somewhere showed up on my MSN talking about killing themselves. I talked them out of it and we began talking with one another. Eventually after talking for a a couple days we decided to meet and we kept meeting. Eventually we started get to know each other a bit better or so I thought. One day he came over to the apartment and he proposed we become fuck buddies essentially. However, what I did not know was this man was a user, and, he was also known for some very shady shit.

I said I would like to be in such an arrangement with him at time as I figured it would help me get over my ex. One of the first things he did though was start trying to convince me I was not bi, but, gay. This was sort of like his main thrust that he liked to bombard men with. He also it turned out did not use condoms. I have long sense gotten tested and I am fine, but, it was a dangerous game of unprotected same sex contact and mental fuckery. I would not do such a thing these days I know better. However, at the time I looked passed that.

The first thing he did was tell my ex girlfriend off and call her a bitch. Something which should have sent my antenna off right away, but, I was naive and young. This was the K Incident, but, I will not give out a name as to not give out his details at this time. The point is that he started a regimen of totally screwing with me and this included bathing with me claiming he was falling for me drawing little hearts. It included not hardly sleeping at all intentionally keeping me up too long to his advantage. While in this "relationship" it also started the process of emulation in someways as well.

By that I mean I was introduced to somethings that were new for me. Some of which was intended to make me gayer as said individual was big on showing me I was actually gay. Which included everything from trying to convince me when I was fucking my girlfriend I was thinking about men to influencing my choice of music/movies. One of this things he did was sit me in front of Devil Wears Prada numerous times. I guess the idea was feminize me more or something? He also would blare the same music every time we fucked. Essentially, he wanted to fuck, but, he did not want me unless I became a flamer or at least he attempted to make me as such.

I was not at this time in my life what one would call effeminate in the sense of being completely womanly. I had more of the Nerd/Geek thing going on and not the flashing gay thing. However, in between all my time with him which included keeping me from my Mom. A tactic I should have recognized from the keeping me away from others Ivan did. As well as all the talk about I fucked too much like a homosexual to go both ways. As well as numerous other methods of manipulation combined with simply sewing a seed of doubt in me. With all of this I came out of our buddies with sex arrangement when I realized I was being played. However, one of this tactics did work I was convinced I was gay and once again I came out of a relationship basically brainwashed about my sexual identity.

It did not help at all that because of emulating him in certain ways people all seemed to doubt I was Bi and helped convince me along with him I was just gay. At this time I decided to come out as gay to people, but, before that I was possibly drugged and raped one more time. I do not know if I was, but, I was at this older fellas house and he gave me this tea. All of a sudden I got very sleepy and I passed out on his bed. The next thing I know I am waking up on his bed hours later with not a single memory of what happened. However, I had this weird feeling of being violated somehow. Was I actually violated? I have no proof, but, I think it is possible.

At this same time I started having questions come into mind about my faith. I had always been an atheist for most of the time that I can remember. I am an atheist as I type this here as well. However, at this time I had some lapses into all kinds of New Thought and New Age Woo Woo and I sort of mixed it together with my own brand of Christianity. You could call it Chris brand Christianity if you will. I also got involved in Pride locally around this time and some of you may have met me for the first time around this point in my story. With no knowledge that I was a several time abuse victim, multiple rape survivor and that I would end up very much not gay at all.

I do not regret one second of helping with the Pride events at the time. Despite my realization as I started to drift away from the sort of hive mind consensus on certain issues that there was at the time at least a very cancerous side to some of the Pride crowd. I did what I did with the best of intentions of promoting individual rights for all people. It was also at this time that I started to second guess how left wing I actually was. Although I did not use a left right spectrum to describe my shift. I used the Nolan Chart of libertarian vs authoritarian, I first started hearing things like Free Talk Live and I absolutely loved things like "The Market for Liberty." I also bought the boxed set of Season One of Bullshit within this time frame.

I was noticing that my politics outside of supporting marriage equality and especially on matters of economics differed from most people associated with the Pride community. For this reason I tended to just keep my views to myself. However, I did give little details out here and there when appropriate. Yet, the eyes of a stranger looked back at me daily. Those eyes of a stranger no longer knowing the owner of them. So much had changed and so suddenly. Was it the real me? Or just some character based on a role I embodied from what others expected of me? Who's eyes are these I just don't know.

So, after much ado I come to writing this song again. It was quite a time for me a time before so much in my life. I wrote a song about eyes of a stranger looking back at me that I did not recognize. Who was that looking back at me I wrote. That confusion was even more pronounced as time went on and I started to wonder which parts were really Chris and which parts were performing a role people expected. Something that would last quite a while still in the story of my life.

The Reaping and Raping of Mind & Body --- Land of killed dreams and crushed souls ---

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

The Reaping and Raping of Mind & Body --- My Story Begins

Back when I was in high school I had social anxiety due to my sheltered upbringing without getting out near enough. It made for a bad combination already being anxious made me odd to other people and that made the bullying get worse. I never really had many friends when I was younger I was basically a loner and did not really have a place that I belonged. It was not that I was that odd persay in the sense that I would be considered having issues, but, I was just not good with other people. 

In Grade 10 I met a a guy named Ivan Pjanic in my Grade 10 English Class he sat in the seat next to me. He was a new face to me and we quickly began to somewhat hit it off somehow. It was odd for me as I usually did not hit it off with anyone at least that I was aware of. However, for some reason we did and we became friends. We really only hung out once that year that I can remember, but, we were friends. 

We continued our friendship throughout Grade 11 as well. In the meantime I was being loved by teachers and misunderstood by my fellow students. I was very mature for my age and the antics of the other students often seemed juvenile and stupid to me. I lived a half decent life albeit still the life of someone that was often the brunt of bullying and not so niceties. I am sure all the bullying did not help my confidence levels and I am sure it had an impact on my testosterone production during my teen years as well. 

During this time I became obsessed with Agatha Christie novels and classic movies in general. I also began writing my own stories and scripts. In addition, I continued to be an action junkie watching different movies on the weekends with my Dad. I had always enjoyed action flicks and it was something we both could enjoy together. We also both loved video games especially the RPG Genre which dear old Dad himself introduced me to with "Legend Of Zelda A Link to The Past." I saw my dad almost every weekend, we would watch movies together and chow down on chips and dip.

I was not aware at the time that my Father would soon grow much more distant and we would not see each other as much. I was not aware that in fact all male on male time would be consumed and reaped up by one boy Ivan Pjanic. To the point where he would be in constant contact with me even while I was with Dad. My body was with Dad, but, my mind was with Ivan. However, that was an entire year more away from me. For now everything was peachy keen and gumdrops for me and Dad. 

I would write my novels and scripts, but, mainly scripts. They were a mix between movies and plays. Although I wrote movies the most and I even used script writing software to do it. My genre of choice the heroic man that fights and wins against all his foes. He saves the day and he got the girl and I mean got all in there in the end. If you know what I mean in quite detailed descriptions. Sometimes he was a nice guy that also happened to know every single fighting style known to man. Other times he was rough around the edges, but, also soft inside tough guy. However, one thing that was certain he protected and he procreated. 

However, things seemed to change in Grade 12 when Mom moved in and married my now Step-Dad. I started becoming slightly distant from Dad because he did not come around all that often. Instead I would go to his place on the weekends. Or well to his Girlfriends place where he lived. We would still rent movies and I would still eat them chips/dips. However, there were often times when I could not see him as much. I filled that time with an ever increasingly extreme long distance relationship with the newly moved to BC Ivan Pjanic. To me Ivan Pjanic could do no wrong and he was quick to point out what was wrong with other people especially my Dad. 

I want to make a quick jumping off here to point out how awesome my Dad actually is. He has loved me like a rock my entire life and he would want to kill Ivan if he found out that he raped me when I was in BC. Yes, this is a story about literal rape by my at the time best friend. It feels hard to even say that word out loud, but, yes I have been raped. As well as near molested and several other things. It is not something I admit lightly as it is a matter I never tell anyone about. Yes, I am a victim or victor over a rape, abuse, and almost near brainwashing at the hands of two different men. One being Ivan and the other being later in life. 

As Grade 12 went on I became increasingly obsessed with Ivan Pjanic and it was partly due to not having any other friends around. One night late at night while Mom was asleep and the sound was muted Ivan asked me if I would do something different with him. He asked me if I would watch Porn and jack off for him on Cam over MSN messenger. He said he wanted to watch me get off while he got off. Being as I was at the time under the impression outside of Mom he was the only person in the world (except for Dad) that cared if I was alive or dead I did it for him. I took out my 18 year old manhood and tugged off for him. While watching videos of POV women having sex with me.

I had no desire to look at his dick while I tugged off which began to happen regularly. I would put on Straight porn and tug one off to the women having sex with me while he watched me getting off. It happened when no one was home or while everyone was asleep. One day he said something over MSN that was something I never thought of before which was essentially, "who needs to go find a girl you got me." He detailed how he wanted to experiment with me and how when he got off at night he looked at my manhood and not at videos of women. I could not say the same I always had straight porn on when I got off for him. It was not for him it was for the women in the videos that got me to that point.

A few nights later he sent me a link it was to Gay porn and he essentially said to jack to it. Seeing as it was my Best Bro I popped it on, but, keep in mind I had NO IDEA what GAY WAS. No, literally I never heard the word Gay or Lesbian once growing up in my home. Anything sexual was completely off limits we did not go there. I knew something about this Gay Marriage thing being debated, but, I did not know what they meant by Gay. Hell, I used too watch Queer Eye with Mom and not once did I know what Queer meant. So, I put on the Gay porn and did as he requested I tugged one out for him. Much to my surprise it was two dudes fucking and Ivan said he wanted to be the guy in the video. He wanted us to bring his fantasies of us doing sexual stuff to life. 

So, over time he would keep mentioning this to me in our conversations. To the point it became regular for him to talk about us fucking every time we spoke. Eventually I started figuring, hey, I ain't got no women why not just use his manhole instead. So, having been literally told that no one else cares about me, and at this point having my Dad painted as a monster for being busy in life despite loving me too death. Having been weaned off of even trying to make new friends. Been told that no woman would ever understand me like my Bro understands me. Being told that my safe place was with him, alone in BC I decided to move away from home. 

That is where the light and airy experimentation ideas in the head of a isolated loner ends. That is where the dark nightmare called my time in BC begins and where my story becomes worthy of a fucking Oscar. In my next post I will go over the incidents and my abuse at the hands of the man whom told me he was my safe place. Only to find I was safer at home and that is where I should have stayed.