The beauty of enlightened and positive self-interest AKA Proper Self-Love and Self-Esteem.

In the last couple of articles I have talked about positive attitude and how important it in our lives. Especially how it can be used to remove the toxins in various communities. One was on just about being positive in general and the other was about various movements. I contended that being positive was highly important. However, I do want to point out I was not meaning in the sort of delusional new Age way or as in never having a negative thought, nor to become your own thought police. 

It would be against what is best for an individual to be delusional about the world and think your life is great if there is nothing, but, horrors. Nor is it smart to be about to fall off of a mountain and keep driving thinking "positivity" will make you float to safety in the air like magic. So, one should not think I support the idea of the positive being able to do anything like a genie in a magic lamp. That does not mean that one should dwell in the negative either. 

Ultimately life is about the pursuit of our own personal self and his/her happiness. Which means what is really needed is a rational and positive self-interest. An enlightened self-interest which is based on proper self-love and self-esteem. I want to add in positive because people often assume self-interest or selfishness means running over others and being self-centered. To not care about others or the world outside yourself. Of course this is not what someone whom is following their rational (and positive) self-interest acts like nor thinks like. I would argue that in order to succeed in life one can never get to true happiness through irrational and negative means. 

The irrational is in fact negative because it is not something that is good for the self. It is not good to have you be able to follow your pursuit of happiness. You need to follow positive and rational self-interest to have positive outcomes. Positive self-interest or positive/enlightened selfishness is at the core of all ability to pursue ones happiness/joy and bliss in life. Ones bliss, joy and happiness being followed is the true meaning of life. It is human flourishing that is at the core of human existence on this Earth and in The Universe. 

We all need to become comfortable with being selfish and following that bliss in life. We need to pursue it with positive, rational self-love and self-esteem. A positive and rational self-interest. An enlightened and mindful selfishness that nurtures the self, but, not at the expense of others. Instead in a world in which we are all engaged in peaceful and free value laden relations with other people through win-win mutual-ism. In which I am not sacrificing to other and others are not asking of sacrifice of my bliss to them. Sacrifice is parasitic, whereas enlightened self-interest and selfishness is a beautiful mutually beneficial world for all. 

It is in fact at its very bedrock a positive Universe filled with people engaging in value enriching associations. In which we all are harmonious with our neighbors, friends, family (provided they do not ask for sacrificing your wills), strangers when appropriate and overall the very nature of the positive itself. We need to stop asking other people covertly or direectly to sacrifice their bliss for us and also stop sacrificing our bliss to them. We need to nurture ourselves in love, compassion, gratitude and joy. We need to nurture our minds in reason and knowledge. We need to live for those wonderful human values that all of us have and can strive for when left free from the parasites of the toxic. 

The negativity within the MHRM is the same that is in the Social Justic Movement and GBLT.

I have been listening to HoneyBadgerRadio for sometime now and most of the time it is fine. However, sometimes I come across something that makes me uneasy in some of their commentary and something I have seen elsewhere. That is a string of negativity within the MHRM (Men's Human Rights Movement.) Not the sort of women hating stuff feminists blame it for though. Instead a self-negativity and victim complex similar to the feminist movement, SJWS and GBLT people.

All of these groups are made up of people with a self-loathing and victim complex. People whom think the entire world is out to get them and they are powerless. That somehow there is some Universal Satan stopping them from getting things done. This self-loathing causes an insecure outrage and an external hate towards others or systems they do not understand. They are filled with people that always talk about how "the man" is keeping them down like old hippies. Both these types of Men's Right activist and anti-MRAS are just as toxic. Not all MRA's, but, only certain ones.

For men for example with depression being told that somehow there is a Universal Feminist Agenda that will stop them from being free is going to cause them to be worse. That is a toxic message and men are being told they are somehow weak against the World. Which is not true. Men are strong, triumphant, courageous, masterful, and are at their best when living from a place of Pure Value Driven Masculine Positive energy. I fear Jack Donavan had a point when he warned the MHRM if not taken the right way could make men as in learned helplessness as feminism does for women.

It does no good to have men go out into the world with a view that the Universe is Malevolent and out to get them at every turn just for being men. That is hates masculinity and men. Or any men for that matter no matter what your expression. By having men think such in such a toxic way with garbage in you are going to get garbage out. Negativity is never good at all! Even if in the name of a good cause. One should not be filing men with the idea the world views them as evil or that the world outside is evil and they are the one good thing. We should be approaching MHRM causes with a positive approach. With an approach of the Universe does not hate you for it determined you to be a man!

I am not getting all New Age here. Nature evolved men to have male brains and existence is not against men. Nature wants men to be themselves and to express themselves their way. In all places; from bedroom to boardroom. Positive masculine energy driven like a fusion engine by The Universe and existence is from that Universe, from that existence and not hated on the level of our species. Men need to be shown how to tap into their inner man of value in any situation. All of us men can be men of value; unless you are seriously nuts. Men should be told about how to express themselves authentically and powerfully. How to be a powerful storm of masculine prowess and value laden strength.

None of what I said above requires a "higher power," non-material or any sort of second-handed view. None of it requires abandoning reason or rationality. None of it is emotionalism or requires the belief in things based on Faith. I am an atheist there is no supernatural and no god. However, that does not mean one does not need to be really serious about airing on the Optimist side and Positive Attitude, or The Benevolent Universe. The opposite leads to panic, fear and irrationality itself. Benevolence is important to the Universe and existence. Mindsets are in an integral way the basis for self-regulation in all aspects of life.

I am not a victim as a man whom is not in the middle of being a victim. Whomever is an individual man whom is being victimized is, but, they are not me. We need to both treat male victims as much more serious and stop the empathy gap, yes! We also need to stop telling men because THEY can BE Victims they are thus A Victim of an entire system that hates them. Or that the Universe just because it has major Gynocentric elements is against men or hates men. Men do not need their own "Patriarchy Theory" to be serious about male suffering and the imbalances in society. Sorry, SOME MRA's, but, Gynocentrism is part of human nature. It is not imposed on nature it is inside our nature.

That does not mean men should now or should have ever been seen as walking utilities, wallets or dildos, or baby fluid makers for women either. Admitting something is in nature and is not imposed on people and thus not part of some Illuminati like Conspiracy against males is not to say being degraded is good. However, to be mad at it or the Universe for existence view on men is just nothing, but, toxic shit. It is garbage in and produces garbage results like people whining instead of fighting for their own life and their love of it. The world needs Positive Strong Men and this is not doing them any good. The world needs them because men need it for themselves.

This world can be harsh and only a Positive Approach to life can give the proper results. Masculinity is positive by nature as are most men. Deep inside all men can be a positive light for good! Any that are too forgone and evil were made evil. I firmly believe evil men are made evil and evil women are too. Something happened it is an output of being given a horrible input. This comes from someone whom also believes that Biological Determinism is true as well as existence of free will. So, I am not saying that no one just might have bad genes or something. However, most men and women whom are evil are made that way. This is a benevolent universe and perhaps that "belief" is this atheists "faith," or "spirituality." minus any supernatural bullshit or after life crap. 

 

Relearning my own lessons on mindset.

Recently on and off I have been experiencing some mini mental breakdowns starting on of all nights Christmas Eve. I have been having to relearn and condition if you will my self-cognitive behavior work. Tonight was pretty good overall and I ended up having a negativity removing taxi ride. Both to work as well as home from work as well. I was told to be grateful because I have it pretty good. Meanwhile on the way home I was told it does not matter what others even people close to me think of me it is what I think of myself. 

This really is true that it is what I think of myself that matters most. I need to make sure that I never let other people's opinions and thoughts effect myself and whom I am. Nor should I let it affect my own thought process about what I should or should not do in life. I am good at being me I am the only me that exists. I need to never give that up even if the world is coming down around me. I cannot let others affect my own mindsets. I cannot let others change me or my point of view. The world is not out to get me. This is not the end of the world ever no matter what is happening. 

I am Christopher Matthew Murphy! I am a strong and smart man! I am a value man! Without even a dollar in my hand or a roof over my head. My value comes from within me. My value comes from Chris being Chris. My value is an internal worth and no one/no thing can take that value from me. I have value because I am a good person. I have value because I am a moral person, I have value not because I am above others. I have value because I am a huge swaggering tower of positive infused human value to the world. Even if I am out of all my money. Even if I am out in the cold! 

Contrary to my thoughts since Christmas Eve if I died tomorrow I would not be dying alone. I have every experience I have been a part of when I was living. I have all my Ex's and my friends old and new. I have my family. I have a whole world of people whom would be by my caskets side in grief. I am cared about in this world. I am worth an immense amount to the Universe and existence. Not because of New Age babble. Due to touching the lives of so many people old and new in my world. I have touched so many and saved so many without ever sacrificing whom I am or what I am.

Both Biological Determinism and Free Will/Self-Regulation are both true.

Lately, I have been doing a lot of research into the science of free will and determinism to see is there in fact science/evidence of such thing as a free will in neurosciences. Among my journey I have found a disturbing trend that a lot of neuroscientists are doing whatever they can to prove we have no human free will. That our reason and rationality is itself nothing, but, an illusion. In fact, further from that our "self" is an illusion we are only chemicals and neuronetworks with no ability to even really make choices.

This is not something I have seen in the actual science itself about free will. It does show that in many ways free will is not what we think it is. That in some ways it could be called free wont and not free will. However, it is there in the very existence of self-control and regulation of our behavior and cognitive behavior therapy which works on internal mindsets. However, there are absolutists in the free will debate which wish to ignore that "free will or wont" is an upgraded or a downloaded add on to an already formed older physiology.

One could argue not all of our choices are the completely conscious ones and that a lot is subconscious. It also is in addition true that not all of our decisions are like cold-calculating rational mathematical tools or anything. We often will make decisions based on a hybrid of reasons, but, we can chose to act or not on the desires we have come to our mind. We can divert our attention to one thing or another. We can distract ourselves or we can free wont or free will ones ideas. Even if simply by not acting in one way or another. Self-regulation does exist and that very well could be just another word for a scientific free will.

I am not arguing that evolutionary psychology is not real. Not at all self-regulation is a new module added to all the old modules evolution already developed in our brains. Self-regulation, reason and self-control, thought control and self-actualization is all biological processes. They are physiological and materialistic process in our brains. That which we call our mind is the content of our brain. Both that which is rational and reasonable. As well as that which is irrational or unreasonable. Our emotional whims and our other evolved functions are all just that an evolved process. An evolved motor in between our ears and behind our eyes.

There is only physiology/neuronetworks and brain chemistry that is correct, but, that is not same as having no self nor having no ability of will. Our self is all that our brain is both the negative and the positive. Both the good and the bad. Our brain both the subconscious, conscious, reasonable and most insane is our mind, our self and our individual "I," and our self. Both free will/free wont/self-regulation and biological/evolutionary/physiological determinism is true. The answer to this debate is compatibility. Other words the viewpoint known as "compatibilism." Which acknowledges the truth of both biology, our evolved natures and also our ability to regulate/mindset and free will. Removing the truth of self-regulation is very dangerous to a civilized society and to dealing with mental issues.

A MGTOW is not gay because he does not live for women nor is he a fag. Men are not walking utlities.

I want to start off by saying I know there are extremely nutty people whom use the term MGTOW for themselves and I am not saying there is not. There are legitimate things to be said about the "movement" with the name. However, I am not going to be talking about those people nor the "movement." I am going to be talking about the idea of MGTOW in general which is that men go their own way. Deciding not to be in a relationship with women, not having sex nor dating and shunning marriage. Which is all the term originated as meaning by it.

I recently saw the chat on a very famous Youtube channel in which the chat was nothing, but, a bunch of name calling. Basically calling the fellow whom was a MGTOW gay and a fag for his not even bothering to care nor wanting to have a woman in his life. Nor wanting to have sex with anyone and just living his own life. So, basically a man that is not with a woman or chasing women or caring is not a man? Is just cause to have slurs thrown at him because he has more important values in life to work towards?

This is just inane. Men do not lose their value or humanity because they have noticed things being stacked against them and choose to not participate in what a MGTOW sees as a rat race going nowhere. Not having sex with women does not mean you by default have sex with men. That is inane and stupid. It means you are not having sex period it is called "abstinence." When religious people do it they are often called "monks." It does not make you gay or a fag for not living your life with women as a center of it. It is simply putting yourself and what is best for you first. Which we all should.

I do not live in a Gynocentric mindset where my life is defined by the fact there is or is not women in it. I live in a Chriscentric mindset where I live for me, my bliss, my joy, my rational self-interest, my pursuing of my own happiness in life. Frankly, women I do not know already never enter my mind because they are not people I know and thus have no reason to be there. Nor do men I do not know enter my mind either. Strangers are well strangers, but, that seems obvious to most I would hope. I do not have an obligation to think about some random "women" nor "men" when I am living my life.

I am not myself currently in any relationship with anyone and nor do I have a want to get married anytime in the near future. This does not make me a fag or "gay" in anyways, but, it does mean I am sort-of MGTOW in my own way. In that I do not have any desire to get married nor to have children. Nor is my life built around the need for a woman; any woman because my duty is to some collective woman. My life is built around an individual called me and no one else. The idea that MGTOW is gay or fag is completely ludicrous.

I bring this back to the underlying view that men need to be somehow sacrificial to an alter of women to be worthy men. Or that somehow men are not of value and do not have basic human dignity absent women. All of which is both Gynotheistic in that they treat the female and feminine as a Goddess to which all males or the masculine must worship and live for to be worthy. It is totally bullshit and is a female oriented repainting of philosophical sacrifice making men into walking wallets and dildos. Something I find a lot of even well meaning people seem to still buy into.

Women like all men need to realize that respect is earned and not given like manna from the sky in a Garden of Eden. Which means for me to really respect you I need to know you and get to know you. Respect will be earned and not just dispensed like candy from a vending machine. This does not go by the genitals you have, but, is a general rule. This is real life and no woman is a goddess, queen or princess. They are all human. No man is a god, prince or king they too are human. We are all just walking naked 5the Apes and nothing more in the eyes of the broader existence we call The Universe and life itself.

Benevolence is not the same as respect and good will towards man-qua-man is not the same thing as respect either. One is a character trait related to ones view of humanity and how to treat people irregardless of respect. The other is something particular and earned by someone from someone over time. I have benevolence for humanity and all others outside myself. I do not have respect for everyone and I would even say I have lost respect for more people in life over time than I have gained it. So, I can say I have benevolence for others irregardless of gender, but, all people need to earn the later which is respect.

All people should be able to live for themselves no matter man or woman. All people should be able to decide if they have sex or no sex, or even want to try to have sex. All people should be able to pick to have relationships or none. All people should get to decide if they want married or to have kids. As well as whom they associate with. Or whom they disassociate with as well. People do not need to deal with each other. They get to decide based on "hopefully reasonable" metrics whom to deal with or not deal with. Whom to date or not. Whom to do business with or not. Et cetera.

That is what we call freedom people. Men get to be just as free as anyone else and get to decide whom to associate with. Whom to sleep with or not sleep with. Whom to do business with and whom they respect or have no respect for. In major situations even benevolence might need to be traded for pure righteous judgement which commands that one be completely unwavering in how evil another person or group of people might be. This is all part of not being a surf to others and their needs. Men either are free to choose or they are a surf to others be them other men or women.

If MGTOWS cannot be MGTOW then it means these men are slaves to all non-MGTOW and are living on a modern day plantation. With non-MGTOW of all stripes cracking the whip at them and making them stay in line. I am against surfs and I am anti-slavery. For this reason I would never criticize another man for wanting to go their own way and not have anything to do with women. I will and have criticize members of the "movement," and the "movement's" views. However, that is not criticizing the "going own way," but, the ides and that person that has those ideas.

I would never call a MGTOW gay or a fag for being MGTOW that is as I said inane. It means you support these people being surfs to all the people outside of their movement. Freedom means freedom of speech to say even some of the most nutso ideas. So, just because some say some very nutty things does not mean that the going your own way has anything to do with the other views. Freedom is freedom everyone that is peaceful has it or we are not living in a free society, period!

The First Manly lesson of 2017 authenticity is everything!

When you look over sites dedicated to men and their well-being one finds a lot of sites dedicated to what seems like more women's desires than men's actual well-being. You will find numerous sites talking about what women want. Numerous sites about women want this or this and to fake it till you make it, and "attract hot women today." However, none of this actually is looking out for men's well-being or dedicated to internal happiness. Which is one of the most important things to being a grown man in the world.

One of the primary focuses of this site outside of being my own personal blog space is to focus on men's well-being. To make a blog that is supposed to be about and for men that is not based on them getting a woman. Not based on Game or anything like that. Instead based on men and their well-being. What men need to understand about getting along in this world as it is. How to deal with A that is A that is our world. How they can be happy, content and flourish as men. Irregardless of whether they have partners or not. With or without women, or other men if you like them too.

Frankly, it gets annoying that so many men's sites are essentially setting women as center of their world and making their life all about them. Instead of about themselves and what men can do to have a good, flourishing and happy life. Men are not defined by women they exist on a deserted ship wrecked island where no women are present. Thus men and their happiness needs to not come from women. Nor should it come from the acceptance of other men either. Men should never let other men make up and define their "manworld." Ones "manworld" needs to be built on that individual man.

This means that authenticity is one of the cores of being a happy, healthy and congruent man. For this is your life and not the life of other men nor women. The number one thing for any and all men should be to figure out whom they are and expressing it authentically. You need to be the center of your own manworld. You got to be as real as you can be for faking anything is the last thing you need in life. You do not need faking it, you do not need routines or patterns quote-un-quote or techniques of any kind. You need to be yourself and expressing that to everyone you meet. Whether that person is another man or a woman.

Authenticity is a requirement to be able to find that woman or other man eventually as well. For you need to present your authentic self to your future partner. Even if that is just for fun and games. They still need to know and be attracted to the real you. Putting on a performance and faking it is not the answer. The person will be attracted to a fake, a phony a facade. As soon as the facade cracks off they will then be repelled from you and will probably not even put you in the "friend zone," but, cut you off entirely. At the same time they too need to be authentic with you or you rightfully will not be authentic yourself in being in the relationship.

To be a congruent and integrated man. To be fully and whole authenticity is a core requirement. Integrity is a core virtue of manliness and masculinity. To be fully honest and to have real integrity one needs to be real. Thus authenticity once again is a core virtue of being a grown man in this world. I would also add it is also key to being a grown woman and not a little girl. Integrity is a human virtue as well as a manly one. It is a universal virtue, but, it has been historically linked to being a masculine virtue as well. Somethings are both and it is not a contradiction for that to be the case.

So, fellas quite listening to the fake it people. Quit going to those PUA and Game sites expecting to get actual good advice on anything at all. You want to live a good life? You want to not just be a man, but, a flourishing man? A man of value; both giving and receiving it. A man of great breadth and whom lives an amazing life you can look back on in awe? Live as yourself fully in every moment as if you could die any second. As if the world will be gone and your vision will go dark. Embrace this one life you have and live it out loud with passion and confidence. Life is too short to not live in a manly joy! Also, when you are living from a place of intense passion and confidence women will notice, and, you CAN attract them to THE REAL YOU!

Manhood, Masculinity, Manliness : A re-orientation and review of masculine vs feminine

When I began this blog back in the end of last March and going into April I presented a very detailed explanation of masculine vs feminine. A very detailed outlay of manliness and manhood in general vs what some people think is manliness. In this post I am going to do a review of what masculine is vs feminine. What manliness in fact is VS not being manly. What manhood means in general.

The definition of masculine is as follows; having qualities appropriate to or usually associated with a man.  Of or relating to men or boys; male. Characterized by or possessing qualities traditionally attributed to men. Or things associated with a masculine brain/mind/spirit. 

The definition of feminine is as follows; Of or relating to women or girls.Characterized by or possessing qualities traditionally attributed to women, such as demureness. Effeminate; womanish. Or things associated with a feminine brain/mind/spirit. 

The definition of manliness is as follows; Of, relating to, or characteristic of men, especially when considered traditionally masculine, as in being courageous or direct. 

The definition of manhood is as follows; The state or time of being an adult male human. The composite of qualities, such as courage, determination, and vigor, often thought to be appropriate to a man. 

I want to point out to you that nowhere in these definitions taken from the Merriam -Webster dictionary do you see being a Football playing jock or anything. Not that I think jocks are bad people, but, I just want to point that out. Someone whom is a Comic Book geek or a Science Nerd could just as easily fall into this definition. Someone whom wears glasses with Pink frames (wink wink) falls into this definition too. There are things to do with masculinity that is so much more than surface level cues. I am all man, I am masculine as fuck, I am also someone that has had NSync and Backstreet Boys on my Youtube playlist.

I want to point out that so many of the surface and superficial bullshit out there bandied about to do with masculinity is not listed in the very definition of masculinity itself. That does not mean there are not any masculine or feminine things objectively. There absolutely is, but, superficial nonsense is not where those objectively masculine vs feminine things are. There is very much an inner core and life to masculine traits that exists. A=A and masculine = masculine, but, that does not = what everyone thinks it does. 

Masculinity VS femininity in a person is to do with ones mind/brain/spirit. It goes so much deeper than just the surface level BS that people take for the truth of the matter. It is made up of fundamental spiritual values at the core of a man and his being. Men; all men no matter whom they bed can have masculinity at their core. As long as they are in align with their Inner masculine core as a man. Something that can be accessed through serious introspection and realizing your inner nature as a man in our species. 

Have you as a man ever felt compelled deep from within to protect someone else? That is your manhood speaking, your masculine brain firing off testosterone soaked circuits to do your natural "job" so to speak. It is the primal part of your maleness talking to you; your evolutionary psychology and part of what makes you a masculine entity/spirit/brain/mind. Protection is a masculine spiritual virtue and value traditionally speaking. Men have traditionally for obvious reasons been the protectors of their tribe and it is from Sexual Dimorphism.

Have you as man ever felt compelled to provide for someone else; more than likely a woman or someone younger than you? Once again that is your masculine brain firing off primal urges to provide for women and children in your tribe from back in the days of Hunting and Gathering. So, wanting to provide for others is in fact an extension of misfiring in a way of looking after your woman and your offspring. This is a good misfiring because we can use it as a form of benevolence and good will towards others despite not being kin. 

These are only two of the many biologically masculine things that lie in all men; irregardless of whom you bed all men. By virtue of going through puberty and being drenched in testicle juice this is whom you are deep at a primal and evolutionary level if you are a male human being. Does this mean no women protect or provide for others? No, but, women that are doing this are showing for whatever reason to be displaying masculine tendencies and traits. Or as I call them Manly Women of Honor. Applaud them and give them a shout they rock!

What I think we really need is a re-orientation back to the true orientation and meaning of masculine. Away from the superficial BS spread by feminists and also equally BS spread my MGTOWS whom claim that wanting to protect/provide for women is a social construct. We also need to remove the collectivism inherent in both the feminist outlook and so many of the "brotherhood" people in the MRA. Both feminism and elements of the Men's Human Rights movement are just as collectivist. Philosophical altruism is underlying both movements. Men's drive to do men things is an individual drive. Neither all women nor other men as a collective hive mind are entitled to those drives. 
 
We also need to remove the idea that Pick Up Artists are somehow the only real men. Or that masculinity is the same as being able to get chicks left and right. Men need to be able to be happily masculine without a single woman around. Masculinity is not a performance it is a truism about men and the way our minds work. Let individual men celebrate as they so choose a re-orientation back to what it really does mean to be a grown ass man and not what idiots on both sides of the isle want men to be. Let us all just be ourselves; relish in the joys of being a man and all that means. In what it means to be ourselves. Just be ourselves irregardless of how others want to label us this or that.