Recently on and off I have been experiencing some mini mental breakdowns starting on of all nights Christmas Eve. I have been having to relearn and condition if you will my self-cognitive behavior work. Tonight was pretty good overall and I ended up having a negativity removing taxi ride. Both to work as well as home from work as well. I was told to be grateful because I have it pretty good. Meanwhile on the way home I was told it does not matter what others even people close to me think of me it is what I think of myself.
This really is true that it is what I think of myself that matters most. I need to make sure that I never let other people's opinions and thoughts effect myself and whom I am. Nor should I let it affect my own thought process about what I should or should not do in life. I am good at being me I am the only me that exists. I need to never give that up even if the world is coming down around me. I cannot let others affect my own mindsets. I cannot let others change me or my point of view. The world is not out to get me. This is not the end of the world ever no matter what is happening.
I am Christopher Matthew Murphy! I am a strong and smart man! I am a value man! Without even a dollar in my hand or a roof over my head. My value comes from within me. My value comes from Chris being Chris. My value is an internal worth and no one/no thing can take that value from me. I have value because I am a good person. I have value because I am a moral person, I have value not because I am above others. I have value because I am a huge swaggering tower of positive infused human value to the world. Even if I am out of all my money. Even if I am out in the cold!
Contrary to my thoughts since Christmas Eve if I died tomorrow I would not be dying alone. I have every experience I have been a part of when I was living. I have all my Ex's and my friends old and new. I have my family. I have a whole world of people whom would be by my caskets side in grief. I am cared about in this world. I am worth an immense amount to the Universe and existence. Not because of New Age babble. Due to touching the lives of so many people old and new in my world. I have touched so many and saved so many without ever sacrificing whom I am or what I am.
