Lately, I have been introspecting on what I really want out of the rest of my life. What do I want and what do I need. What do I not want and what do I wish to avoid. My story has been told on one of my first posts on this site. Anyone that has read that post knows about my 4 or 5 years of being someone that avoided relationships with women at all costs. It was told that I had done so do to having a change in my internal sense of identity. Due to what I had been told by others.
Those were my Gay Days and I had forsaken women as partners due to not thinking I could be with them. Due to not having any attraction; I thought to them. Lately, I have been wondering if it would not be less of a headache to just say fuck it about women again. Not because I am not attracted to them; I most certainly am. However, due to the rat race that is trying to "please" women. The mouse maze of appealing to "female nature:" and "Hypergamy" are very taxing to me.
It seems like I can be everything most women say they want and yet get nothing in return for my effort. I can be all those wonderful things they want and yet the reaction is mute. I can even be my most confident and amazing self and yet I get nowhere with women. Not because of anything wrong with me, but, because female nature is a hypergamous and gynocentric mess. I used too think it was just due to Radial Feminist BS. More and more though I am thinking it is their good old "evolutionary psychology." It stops them from having interest in me and thus I get nowhere.
I am thinking my best bet for a partner is to turn inward. To turn towards;; literally my fellow man. To be my mate and companion; not jut my bro. The Male Brain does not have any real Hypergamy that scientists can find. Which make sense as hypergamy is linked to selection of genes from a female centered point of view. Men mean what they say when they tell you what they want. Women say they want one thing while their evolved brain wants something else entirely in their men.
With men at least I know where I stand. I have lots of experience with my own sex and being what other men find attractive. Not so much I will admit with women. However, even if I had tons of experience with women. I have this nagging feeling women around here still would just pass me by or blow me off. I am not what they want. What they want is a perfect being that does not exist. A non-existent bullshit made up man that Hypergamy wants.
What am I saying? I can hear you asking. Well, I am thinking of becoming a MGTOW; in lifestyle and not in stereotype. What that means is a "Man Going His Own Way." A man whom forgoes all relations with women; no marriage, no dating, no nothing, and possibly not even an ounce of sex. I am not "going Gay" as such. I still have an attraction to women as straight MGTOWS do. I, however, am getting so tired of being the best of my best and it not being enough for the Harpies in this world.
Living a life that concentrates on myself only and does not give any quarter to what any woman ever wants from me. Living for me and me alone. Not living for myself with a back nagging that I might find the one Unicorn Woman someday. Living as if I might NEVER be with another woman; no woman might ever want me back and saying "fuck you too ladies." Giving Female Nature a major dose of Karma and letting what goes around come around. You do not want to even give me a chance; I am not going to even give one quarter of caring if any woman does.
