As I read the latest headlines that I ran across online I found one that made me shake my head and say "say what? Fuck off little Princess." It looks like Dakota Johnson is having an issue with the Fifty Shades sequel. Supposedly she is having to do a lot of oh my god "simulated sex." No, in the Fifty Shades Darker movie? Really, lots of fake sex, eh? You don't say so? Nah, I would never have guest accepting the role of Anastasia Steele would include lots of fake humping! (Rolls eyes and headpalms.)
Now, she is talking about how "tedious" it is to be doing simulated sex for seven hours straight. You are an actress playing Anastasia Fucking Steele! ANASTASIA STEELE! I REPEAT ANASTASIA STEELE! What the fuck did you think you would be doing half the time? Did you even read the fucking script or the novels they were based on? Especially; ESPECIALLY Darker! Did you not read Fifty Shades Darker?
Dakota Johnson hard work in this world is often tedious. The average Joe and Janet knows very well how tedious work can be. You chose this line of work. You chose this role. You are a grown ass woman that could have turned down the role of Ana and given it to someone else. You are not a little fucking girl! You are a grown ass woman that has made grown ass free willed choices. You chose to play Anastasia Steele. No one put a gun to your head.
You are a shining example of a special snowflake and also a complete moron. That is like someone accepting to play James Bond then freaking out that they are Gay and now need to simulate sex with a woman. It is freaking out about a very crucial part of the character you chose to play. Once again chose with free will and no gun to your head. As an established Hollywood Starlet chose to play Anastasia Steele/Gray and you got what you chose. A movie series containing ongoing faked sex scenes.
She has made her Fifty Shades bed and now she has to sleep in every little kinky layer of it. She can complain she has freedom of expression to do so. However, she would be amiss to think that anyone waiting for the release of the movies has an ounce of empathy about her "tedious" days getting to dry hump Jamie Dornan. Oh and I am sure all of the endless men dying as I type in the literal dead-end jobs that only men seem to care to do are giving a big fuck you as well.
The average Joe and Janet does not care about your "simulating sex woes." We are too worried about being able to afford food and rent to think about such a minute discomfort as to dry sex it up with Jamie Dornan for hours. Some of us might even find it a massive wet dream to get to rub up against Jamie for hours and moan in his ears for the camera. Quit whining about needing to do your job! Suck it up buttercup!
