Dakota Johnson you made your Hollywood bed now sleep in it and enjoy having your huge ass paycheque!

 

As I read the latest headlines that I ran across online I found one that made me shake my head and say "say what? Fuck off little Princess." It looks like Dakota Johnson is having an issue with the Fifty Shades sequel. Supposedly she is having to do a lot of oh my god "simulated sex." No, in the Fifty Shades Darker movie? Really, lots of fake sex, eh? You don't say so? Nah, I would never have guest accepting the role of Anastasia Steele would include lots of fake humping! (Rolls eyes and headpalms.) 

Now, she is talking about how "tedious" it is to be doing simulated sex for seven hours straight. You are an actress playing Anastasia Fucking Steele! ANASTASIA STEELE! I REPEAT ANASTASIA STEELE! What the fuck did you think you would be doing half the time? Did you even read the fucking script or the novels they were based on? Especially; ESPECIALLY Darker! Did you not read Fifty Shades Darker? 

Dakota Johnson hard work in this world is often tedious. The average Joe and Janet knows very well how tedious work can be. You chose this line of work. You chose this role. You are a grown ass woman that could have turned down the role of Ana and given it to someone else. You are not a little fucking girl! You are a grown ass woman that has made grown ass free willed choices. You chose to play Anastasia Steele. No one put a gun to your head. 

You are a shining example of a special snowflake and also a complete moron. That is like someone accepting to play James Bond then freaking out that they are Gay and now need to simulate sex with a woman. It is freaking out about a very crucial part of the character you chose to play. Once again chose with free will and no gun to your head. As an established Hollywood Starlet chose to play Anastasia Steele/Gray and you got what you chose. A movie series containing ongoing faked sex scenes. 

She has made her Fifty Shades bed and now she has to sleep in every little kinky layer of it. She can complain she has freedom of expression to do so. However, she would be amiss to think that anyone waiting for the release of the movies has an ounce of empathy about her "tedious" days getting to dry hump Jamie Dornan. Oh and I am sure all of the endless men dying as I type in the literal dead-end jobs that only men seem to care to do are giving a big fuck you as well. 

The average Joe and Janet does not care about your "simulating sex woes." We are too worried about being able to afford food and rent to think about such a minute discomfort as to dry sex it up with Jamie Dornan for hours. Some of us might even find it a massive wet dream to get to rub up against Jamie for hours and moan in his ears for the camera. Quit whining about needing to do your job! Suck it up buttercup!

Self-actualization, positive psychology, and embracing your manhood.

I was doing a bit of research on self-respect and self-actualization in your life. As well as on positive psychology in general to help deal with my occasional down spells. As well as to see simple ways of dealing with momentary anxiety issues and my issues with social isolation.  I was not looking for it to become an article on masculinity for my manhood blog. 

Well at least I was not going to make it about masculinity in general. Only to find an interesting list of links that included "Positive masculinity models." It was only really one study, so, I did not take it at face value. Than I found a study that said high masculinity was correlated with self-actualization in men and also with self-esteem in general. In additions to showing that masculinity in high doses could be good for depression and anxiety in men. It was interesting to say the least. 

Again, these are only a few studies and not enough for anything concrete on the matter as such. I do know that it has long been known that testosterone is the major natural male anti-depressant. To the point that therapists used too use testosterone boosts as a form of therapy along with other methods to help men cope. Which made me wonder if the hate on masculinity and the constant pressure that in order to be fully human one needs to embrace a "feminine" side could be part of the issues with the high male suicide levels. Can you imagine being a man with a masculine brain and to be told if you emote in a masculine way it is toxic? 

You are a man, trying to live in a world filled with post-feminist rhetoric and misandry. Then when you have issues and need to be able to deal with it in a way in accordance with your male brain you have no where to go. You are told you need to be like a female brain or not be human. Not be able to take any therapy that is relevant to a masculine brain and way of dealing with depression. It could definitely make you even more down to the point of being anxious and clinically depressed. If you have your testosterone lowered from being squashed and losing in life. Then your depression is worse because of it. 

We than wonder why we have such a high rate of men killing themselves. When we tell them men only have two worthy ways of living. Either by fighting their male nature to be more like women and human. Or to be a utility and a wallet for women as opposed to just be men. We tell young men especially these sorts of narratives with things like "toxic masculinity." A bullshit term designed to denigrate men. So, they have nowhere to turn to for a masculine safe therapy which could be best done by helping these men embrace their sexual identity and gender. Sex Role Identity/Inventory is very big in people that are able to get over depression. So, embracing manhood without being a utility ot wallet might just be a help to stop the high rate of male depression. 

 

Forget about being the Perfect Man and work on being perfectly you

Sometimes us men can get wrapped up in the perfection that trying to be our best could cause. Sometimes we start to think that if we are alone it is because we are not perfect enough and maybe we deserve to be alone. After all we are not the perfect man; the man all women want and swoon over. The man that never misses a beat and a man that makes those tingles go off just by speaking. We think maybe there is something wrong with us after all. Maybe we are not perfected enough; not man enough and not truly masculine.

I have caught myself in this trap at times. Assuming my self-identity is wrong if all women do not see it. If all women cannot see our manhood being fully formed yet it might mean it is not. Maybe we are not walking right, talking right, standing right, sitting right enough to attract the "feminine" psychology within a woman. I have found myself asking if this is the case in the past. If I am not man enough for the women I find sexually and emotionally desirable whom I feel that way about me in return.

However, I have had reinforcement lately of me being man enough by several people in my life. They say I am man enough and I am not a defective man. They say I am masculine enough; that I am man enough and that I am fine just the way I am. In fact, that I am a wonderful person. I am beautiful they say and to keep my chin up. That I will find someone someday and not to worry. That there is someone out there for me. That women in the world can find me worthy of love and/or casually fun lust. That I have such an impact on the world around me in such a positive way.

One can get so into trying to be the perfect man they would want they forget to just enjoy being whom they are. They can forget to just chilax and enjoy life while we have it. Yet, we only have one life to live and really we should enjoy it while we can. Time passes so fast I find as I get older. Someday my time will be all gone and I will not have the chance to enjoy that life anymore. I need to stop worrying about being a perfect man and get back to just enjoy being me as I am.

I do not have to be Mr. Right I need to be Mr. Congruent and genuine. Any woman that is of value will see me as Mr. right with me being true to me. I am a man of value; I am more than enough as I am. It would be wrong to fake anything. It is also not about women; I would be perfectly happy finding the love of my life in a man to this day. It is about me accepting no one is perfect we are all just upright, walking naked Apes. Highly evolved chimps and there is no perfect in nature there is no design just natural selections.

No one is perfect; not other humans and also not me. I am simply a walking, upright naked ape and nothing more. Neither is anyone else I see around me. All of us need to stop holding people to a standard of perfection and most of all ourselves to a standard of perfection. That does not mean we let rampant immorality go without be called out. That does not mean stopping the work to be the best we can and to be rationally ideal. We can be realistic and work towards a progression of being our best as well.

However, working towards our best version of whom we are/can be and trying to be perfect are completely different things. It means forgiving ourselves and others for not being that perfect man or woman that we would want. All people; men and women are naked, upright walking apes and none of us will ever be all perfect and all amazing all the time. We can be beautiful, we can be wonderful and we can even be an Alpha-Beast if we are. However, we will never be perfect as that level of perfection is not even human.

Being a Man in Motion is good for your being, being a person of value and a little bit on "needing" women/others.

Earlier I went for a walk through University Avenue late at night in the silence of a dead Charlottetown. It was an excellent idea and I recommend that you exercise regularly to help keep the anxiety away. Walking is great for destressing as well as to keep you in s state of confident calm. 

If you are ever wanting a way to help getting into your zone, mojo as some would say or state as others would call it start being a man in motion. 

There is nothing better to help control your hormones and keep the testosterone flowing at a good rate in your body. Feel like your testicle juice is out of sync? Go for a power walk on the town. 

It is not only us men and our testosterone which is highly affected by movement and exercise. Women also can help their estrogen balance with getting enough exercise and working out as well. Your body being healthy in general means you will have a healthy hormonal balance. It is extra important for men to keep healthy testosterone levels though. It is well known that testosterone to the male brain is like the natural anti-depressant. By maintaining healthy testosterone levels we can keep ourselves from going into massive depressions. 

Being a man in motion and moving will help you keep those levels healthy and not imbalanced. Getting regular exercise is very, very important for men because of this. To an even greater degree than most people tend to realize. Ever feel like throwing all your papers off your desk and roaring like a King Gorilla? Get off your man-ass and onto your feet instead. Start to move, even if only around your room and that desire from anxiety will go away. 

Being in motion is so integral having a male brain and being a man. We evolved as a being that moved just to survive. Our bodies are used to using that movement  for various things. We were the hunters, the warriors and the protectors of the tribe and family. While exercise is important for all of us; there is an argument it is even more vital to men and healthy hormone production due to our evolved male psychology/biology. Exercise all the time, move all the time! Just get off your ass and move! 

If you are the regular Joe simply go for walks whenever you can. Move whenever you can. If you are an athletic type take up a sport. Or join the gym. Join an exercise group or club. The reason for exercising is not to woo ladies with an amazing body. It is to take care of yourself and live a long lasting, flourishing life pursuing the values you desire in life. Any women that notice your body is simply an affect of you already being healthy and thus showing you have good genes. Like anything else to do with women they are not the centre of your manworld you are! 

Move for yourself; keep good hygiene for yourself and live for yourself. Unless you are already in some per-established arrangement with a woman your life revolves around you. You are the centre of your manworld and that is how it needs to stay. Women are an affect of being the best person you can be and being a person that shows they understand their value. That you believe in yourself and have the confidence to be congruent; be the real you. Remember this is your life and you only have one. Lengthen it as much as possible. 

People such as PUA's that make life all about pussy are doing everything backwards. It all starts with you. Yes, the I your eyes see in the mirror. Before you can even so much as approach the opposite or same sex person you find attractive you need to be attracted to yourself. I know that sounds cocky and sort of egotistical, but, it is true. If you do not want to date you why should a woman or another man? If you cannot love yourself than you will never be happy even with a plethora of vagina or cock in your bed. 

It is you that you need to contend with when you try to go to sleep at night. You that you need to look at till the day you die. Women and other men will come and go; unless you find someone "really special." When they leave you will be left with yourself. Do you love the man that will be left alone? Or will you weep poor me for your worth came from the other person? You need to know you are worthy. You are the King of your world. You need to know you are enough! You are worthy of love! You need to know you are worthy of sex to really be confident to try for it (ETHICALLY!). 

It is OK, and NATURAL for you to desire flesh on flesh (with latex) with other human beings. Women or men. However, if you do not think you are worthy than anything you do will come off as some fake ass little boy "faking it" till he gets some. It can be seen a mile away and all it will do is make women or men be totally uninterested in the least. There is a difference between self-loathing and admitting you can be vulnerable/are human. 

Men should be free to be able to be vulnerable and to ask for help. That does not mean that these same men should loath the person they are. It will just make things worse. Men you need to love yourself first! You need to look in the mirror and say I am not rich; not perfect looking and might not even have any game, but, fuck me I accept me and love what it is; it is what it is. Then work on getting help and tell your story knowing you are a good person and your vulnerability can be a form of strength and growth.   

I needed to go deep within to realize the wounds I had put inside myself over the years. I am working on repairing them all. However, I am not doing it for others. I am not doing it for you my readers. I am not doing it for the next woman or man I date, have in my bed or both. Nor my family, nor "society," nor my friends. Nor any other individual I am doing it for me, for the I in the eyes of the mirror. Why? I AM WORTH IT! I AM OF VALUE! I AM ENOUGH! I CAN COMMAND RESPECT AND EARN IT! I AM A GREAT PERSON! I DESERVE TO TREAT MYSELF WELL!

I am working on always maintaining my eyes on my value in all situations. There is no reason to fear what I might do; for I am a good person. In every situation there is a silver lining. There is a life lesson. All failure is simply learning to not repeat a mistake. I can present value of some kind to others in any situation because I am of value. I am made of value for we all have something we can bring to the table. No matter how seemingly small. Everything I do makes an impact. All I can do is make sure I make positive ones by providing value to others in that impact. 

All men can provide values to themselves first. Then once you are right with you it goes outward. You can start providing value for others. Whether friends or lovers, whether men or women. Simply live a life with the good and positive intentions of finding your inner value. Then with that same intention work outward to providing value for others. Whether a wonderful night of dancing at a club to cut the boredom of the every day. Or an amazing sexual adventure in your bed or elsewhere. Or simply a smile when others days are down. Or grabbing a cup of Joe at a coffee shop. 

It all starts within yourself though before it goes anywhere else. You need to realize you have Inner Value as a man; as a human being. Then from there work on how to best dispense and put into action those values towards other people. Not just because others demand them though. You need to do it because you want to do it. You need to provide value to others and they provide value to you in return. It is a mutual exchange of value for value. Mutually good intention value exchange value for value. This is the way to be a value man. This is the way to be a person of value. 

Guess what though? We all can be this person. This value man in our own ways and women also provide values back. This is a mutual exchange this is not highway robbery. Women have values, but, so do men. Women are not scum and neither are men. No matter how much feminist bullshit gets pushed in your face. A lot of women need to work on getting over their Hypergamy and stop being insane nutcase harpies; I agree. However, I think once more women over come this we will be living in a world where both sexes exchange value for value. 

Remember, when you look in the mirror men. You are enough! You are worthy! You are of value! You just need to do the inner work and find that value; that diamond in the rough. Then present those values to the world outside of yourself and wait for the response. Wait for the exchange of value back to you. It can happen it. It will happen you just need to realize you deserve it and are worthy of receiving it back!

  

Friendship requires honour, loyalty and courage. It also requires earning respect! :) Once you have my respect you have it!