In this day and age the term selfishness is used for a lot of things attached to the negative things in our experience. Selfishness is considered the same thing as self centered and not caring about anyone else. It is coined to be another word for greedy or being an asshole. It is coined as the driving force for all the evils of the world. The driving force behind depressions and recessions. The driving force behind being a dick and walking over others. Not a one person seems to use it as just another word for self-interest and being a rational animal. That strives to have pleasure and not pain in life.
However, the very meaning behind the word selfishness is just that very striving force. It means that you live first and foremost for striving for your own personal happiness in life. That you in fact nurture oneself and look after yourself as a primary driver. What is so wrong with such a thing? We all need to do this at different times in our life; even if one tries to run from thinking one is "being selfish." However, most of us run from living our entire life in this mode. Why though?
Why do we run so much from "being selfish?" If one is not being a dick or a cunt about it why does one need to or why should one run from "being selfish?" I think it is time to take back the term selfish from the dicks and cunts. One needs to grab the proper definition of selfish back and celebrate reasonable, rational and enlightened selfishness as a basis for a virtuous life of value. I am selfish when I work on myself; my mental state and work on showing how great of a man I am. I am selfish when I am just myself around others and do not give a fuck what they think.
I am selfish when I am trading value for value with my neighbors, friends, co workers, family and sexual partner or partners. I am selfish when I work to make the money to live instead of not caring about myself, not caring about the self not even trying to work. I am selfish when I am feeding my intellect with the brain food; nurturing the mind to be the most well fed mind it can be. As opposed to letting it collapse like unused slop by not feeding it information. Letting it become airhead and dumb to the world. I am selfish when I accept my hetero-flexible nature and not selflessly pretending to be something I am not.
I am being selfish when I smile because I am happy instead of letting the world crush me. I am selfish when I am thinking I deserve to have the right to be happy. I am selfish when I fall in love with someone and they love me in return. I am selfish when I refuse to let anyone mislabel me for something I am not for any reason whatsoever. When I am selfish as you can see I am hardly harming others nor am I self-centered or thinking I am a man alone on an island. Yet, I am selfish in all of these things and not ashamed to say I am a selfish man and I not going to be put into some sort of guilt trip.
What I wish for is that every man would allow themselves to be a little more selfish. Nurture the self; what is the best actions for you. In the long term after much thought and rational inquiry. Much searching, much internal self-reflection and figuring out what you need/want in life. Then acting to gain what that is. Doing what makes you happy provided you are not sacrificing others to yourself. Anymore than you should sacrifice yourself to them for their whims and wishes. I am not saying for people to be dicks or cunts. I am saying to live a life based on a principle of trading values for values.
Being a man of value means knowing your own value. Knowing it objectively as a truth and not a subjective might be sort of thing. You cannot be a man of value which is trading value for value. If you do not know deep inside; on a personal level within your own mind your own value. That you are of value and you are a value as a person. You then from there can go from seeing the value in yourself to aiming to achieve your external values you wish to seek. Whether it is platonic, romantic, material or purely libido driven lustful drives. All values must begin with self-value or in the end no external values can be worth it for you will never be truly happy until you are happy with yourself.
Being a man of value is a very, very selfish thing. Not all men of value realize this or even will acknowledge this is the case. Often people will mistake benevolence for pure altruism. When it is not pure altruism and it is a form of benevolence instead. The man of value again begins with reason, purpose and self-esteem. With having a personal pride, but, not a narcissism. Being a person of value in general is very selfish. Whether you are a man or a woman. Selfishness; real nurturing and loving the self, the ego and doing what is best for you. Doing what is pursuing your own happiness; provided you are not initiating coercion or harm against others or their property. Also, provided you are not guilting others into self-sacrifice for you.
Nurturing the self is good; whether you want to use selfishness as the name for that or not. Just call it rational-self interest without the word if you wish. However, nurturing the self needs to be embraced by us all. Not because I am some dogmatist, but, because this world is going crazy from sacrificing to each other. People are forgetting it all begins with nurturing, accepting, embracing and loving oneself first. From there comes everything else. It all starts with realizing "perfect" is an illusion and so we are all perfect just as we are. Provided we are a good person and we are not being a dick or a cunt. Not all people are good people. Judgement is important and so is morals. However, perfection outside of being a good person is an illusion. Embracing selfishness or enlightened self-interest is the answer and break from running that illusionary race to be "perfect."
