Born Again Christian; Biblical Fundamentalist, Received Text-KJV, Dispensational
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Monday, April 13, 2020
My Sexual Journey in and out of the GB community
When I was 19 I began identifying as bisexual after my experiences being raped by one Ivan Pjanic this was due to two different aspects of the experience. One being my reaction climaxing during unwanted anal and oral penetration. The other that I was curious about what the experience would be like to receive oral pleasure when the topic was brought up by the young man that would become my rapist.
Prior to meeting Ivan Pjanic I never once thought of being with another male in a sexual situation. One day he mentioned that he had some thoughts about us being sexually active and he began getting me to get off while he watched on camera.
It was not until I moved out to BC that I both first experimented with him giving me oral sex and then was raped afterwards. I have gone into details in a previous article series.
I was literally groomed into the LGB community by influence of a cunning, well manipulating grooming of a bicurious sexual predator. When I got back to PEI I met yet another groomer and predator that was known for using, brainwashing and manipulating guys into the G and milking their new identity for all it was worth.
He struck when his prey was at his most vulnerable in my case when my first girlfriend had left me. I was brainwashed by a book as well. A book by the name of "Coming Out to yourself." A book that gets you to repeat to yourself you are gay in mirrors and such mind numbing things. Essentially self brainwashing.
Having swallowed Keegan's kool aid and also having brainwashed myself into thinking my experiences were indicative of being gay I began to affirm and live a gay life.
However, something was negging in the back of my mind and there were numerous times I would imagine myself with a woman despite all the grooming and the continued affirmations of not being into the opposite sex.
So, I went from the G to the B once again, but, overtime my mind and my genitalia were no longer interested in men. My manhood literally was becoming completely flaccid towards men and my sexuality was changing overtime. I was becoming no longer B either. Instead I was becoming totally heterosexual I became straight.
On my 30th Birthday I came out to a select group of trusted people as being neither B or G and not part of said community after all. I came out as Straight and 100% heterosexual. I am one of the many people whom had found themselves being heterosexual as I got into my 30s whom used identify as bisexual or homosexual. Through natural change overtime as we got older.
I am myself proof of the fluidity and flexibility nature of sexual orientation and that change from a GB to a heterosexual does happen and can happen. I am not alone by far most people in all large sized longitudinal studies of same sex attraction lose their attractions for mostly or completely opposite sex attraction by their 30's cross both of the sexes. Without any sort of therapeutic aspect at all or bigotry or self-phobia or anything of the kind.
In my case I was part of the local Rainbow board that put on local events. I even represented LGB people and PEI Pride in the Halifax Pride parade one year. I support now as always individuals right to sexual autonomy and oppose any measures to force or coerce people to change their sexual orientation or preferences.
Prior to meeting Ivan Pjanic I never once thought of being with another male in a sexual situation. One day he mentioned that he had some thoughts about us being sexually active and he began getting me to get off while he watched on camera.
It was not until I moved out to BC that I both first experimented with him giving me oral sex and then was raped afterwards. I have gone into details in a previous article series.
I was literally groomed into the LGB community by influence of a cunning, well manipulating grooming of a bicurious sexual predator. When I got back to PEI I met yet another groomer and predator that was known for using, brainwashing and manipulating guys into the G and milking their new identity for all it was worth.
He struck when his prey was at his most vulnerable in my case when my first girlfriend had left me. I was brainwashed by a book as well. A book by the name of "Coming Out to yourself." A book that gets you to repeat to yourself you are gay in mirrors and such mind numbing things. Essentially self brainwashing.
Having swallowed Keegan's kool aid and also having brainwashed myself into thinking my experiences were indicative of being gay I began to affirm and live a gay life.
However, something was negging in the back of my mind and there were numerous times I would imagine myself with a woman despite all the grooming and the continued affirmations of not being into the opposite sex.
So, I went from the G to the B once again, but, overtime my mind and my genitalia were no longer interested in men. My manhood literally was becoming completely flaccid towards men and my sexuality was changing overtime. I was becoming no longer B either. Instead I was becoming totally heterosexual I became straight.
On my 30th Birthday I came out to a select group of trusted people as being neither B or G and not part of said community after all. I came out as Straight and 100% heterosexual. I am one of the many people whom had found themselves being heterosexual as I got into my 30s whom used identify as bisexual or homosexual. Through natural change overtime as we got older.
I am myself proof of the fluidity and flexibility nature of sexual orientation and that change from a GB to a heterosexual does happen and can happen. I am not alone by far most people in all large sized longitudinal studies of same sex attraction lose their attractions for mostly or completely opposite sex attraction by their 30's cross both of the sexes. Without any sort of therapeutic aspect at all or bigotry or self-phobia or anything of the kind.
In my case I was part of the local Rainbow board that put on local events. I even represented LGB people and PEI Pride in the Halifax Pride parade one year. I support now as always individuals right to sexual autonomy and oppose any measures to force or coerce people to change their sexual orientation or preferences.
In support of consenting adult sexual reorientation
I fully support the right of any gay man or woman to freely choose to obtain sexual reorientation therapy. Any grown up man or woman of appropriate age and within the context of reality, reason, self and consent should have the ability to change to being straight if that person is able to and wishes to do so.
Religious fundamentalism is not the only means nor source of sexual reorientation. In truth sexuality reorients itself and changes naturally overtime for many people whom has acquired same sex erotic desires in the past. In Longitudinal studies of the same populations of people whom have at some point acquired same sex erotic feelings ended up by the Wave 4 as being mostly or completely heterosexual and straight having more or less lost or dropped said same desires naturally without any therapeutic assistance from a properly standardized secular psychologist or psychotherapist.
One can no longer say people are "born predetermined to be Kinsey 7 Gay." Same sex erotic codes are acquired after birth and they often subside in a lot of people for a replacement by a heterosexual based orientation. I am not anti-gay and I fully support equality of rights and under the law for all peaceful people in a free society. However, the science of orientation is that it is an evolutionary adaptation and not some immutable and hardwired, unchanging life time attribute of most peoples identity and it is not a forever primary erotic code.
Even those that did maintain some same sex erotic codes still obtained an opposite sex erotic code and the largest of the LGBT lifelong demographics is bisexuality. Which is essentially a heterosexual with a cherry on top not a homosexual orientation. With most of them ending up in straight long term relationships. In all long term studies of the LGBT demographics over time the most coherent thing is the most stable identity is a heterosexual one. Not stable as in mentally ill or disorder, but, stable as in same over time without changing. Meanwhile in the same demographics gayness or exclusive homosexuality was the least stable and the most likely to go away was a persons obtained same sex eroticism not their opposite sex attraction.
I know from actual research that has been done following people over time that people with same sex erotic codes can and do go straight without even a single visit to a sexual reorientation therapist. If the people involved are non-pressured and not coerced grown ups then I see no problem with such therapy being available to give gays even more assistance with wanting to change their orientation. I am talking about consenting, fully informed and self-determined grown up homosexuals and bisexuals wanting to cultivate their straight ability. Not wanting "cured" but, simply wanting change.
I echo the sentiments of LGBT rights supporting Marcia Malory on October 19, 2012 whom wrote in Scientific American (hardly an anti-gay periodical and also fairly strongly vetted);
Just as gay people who are happy as they are should not be forced to change their sexual orientation, gay people who want to be straight should have the right to change if they can – and the correct word is “change” – not “cure”.
I can hear people screaming in the isles of my blog about how horrible I am for saying gays should be able to change and reorient their sexuality to being some form of heterosexual if they so feel it is in their best personal long term happiness in life. However, you are not that person it is not your brain, it is not your mind it is the individual gays mind, brain and very soul to be poetic. Whom are you to dictate what they can and cannot do with it? No one is the answer! The minds owner, the brains between the eyes of the owner of the self that wants to live a straight life and not you.
However, I hear you also shout such efforts do not work and I used too think so too. Before I found some research that showed this is not the case some forms of efforts do in effect work and are in fact humane, and not dangerous. There are forms of sexual reorientation that are not harmful and have actual results behind them. I will link to them at the end of this discussion as well as to all the evidence that sexual orientation is not what people seem to think it is.
If you think I am full of shit about homosexual/bisexual desires disconnecting from ones erotic code for a predominantly or fully heterosexual orientation even without external therapy I give you the following quote from a meta-analysis of all of the Longitudinal Studies of people with same sex erotic codes. It is not being reported by another straight person such as myself. Just to make sure you cannot say I am some nutty breeder this is written by an openly Lesbian Feminist Psychologist Dr. Lisa Diamond.
We review scientific research and legal authorities to argue that the immutability of sexual orientation should no longer be invoked as a foundation for the rights of individuals with same-sex attractions and relationships (i.e., sexual minorities). On the basis of scientific research as well as U.S. legal rulings regarding lesbian, gay, and bisexual (LGB) rights, we make three claims: First, arguments based on the immutability of sexual orientation are unscientific, given what we now know from longitudinal, population-based studies of naturally occurring changes in the same-sex attractions of some individuals over time. Second, arguments based on the immutability of sexual orientation are unnecessary, in light of U.S. legal decisions in which courts have used grounds other than immutability to protect the rights of sexual minorities.
The best and most reliable data on “naturally occurring” change in sexual orientation come from studies that have longitudinally tracked large, population-based samples of heterosexual and sexual-minority individuals … Several such studies have now been completed, and they unequivocally demonstrate that same-sex and other-sex attractions do change over time in some individuals. The degree of change is difficult to reliably estimate, given differences in study measures, but the occurrence of change is indisputable.
Savin-Williams et al. (2012) analyzed data from the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health (Add Health), which has been regularly tracking same-sex attractions and sexual identity in a random, representative sample of more than 12,000 adolescents since 1994. We focus here on changes in attractions reported between the third wave of data collection (when respondents were between 18 and 24 years old, with a mean age of 22) and the fourth wave of data collection (when respondents were between 24 and 34 years old, with a mean age of 29). …At the third and fourth waves of data collection, respondents were asked to describe themselves as 100% heterosexual, Mostly heterosexual, Bisexual, Mostly homosexual, or 100% homosexual. Of the 5.7% of men and 13.7% of women who chose one of the nonheterosexual descriptors at Wave 3, 43% of the men and 50% of the women chose a different sexual orientation category six years later. Of those who changed, two-thirds changed to the category 100% heterosexual. … 8% of the exclusively homosexual men and 26% of the exclusively homosexual women who initially considered themselves exclusively gay changed categories six years later.
However, she is not alone in finding the evidence for innate lifelong gayness in most people with some bisexual or homosexual behavior to be scientifically lacking. Take for instance LGBT Advocate John D'Emilio whom says;
The idea that people are born gay—or lesbian or bisexual—is appealing for lots of reasons. Many of us experience the direction of our sexual desires as something that we have no control over. We just are that way, it seems, so therefore we must be born gay. The people who are most overt in their hatred of queer folks, the religious conservatives, insist that being gay is something we choose, and we know we can’t agree with them. Hence, again, born gay. Liberal heterosexual allies love the idea. If gays are born that way, then of course they shouldn’t be punished for it. …What’s most amazing to me about the “born gay” phenomenon is that the scientific evidence for it is thin as a reed, yet it doesn’t matter. It’s an idea with such social utility that one doesn’t need much evidence in order to make it attractive and credible.
Furthermore we now have a Longitudinal study of men over a year out from having secular and non religious based sexual reorientation therapy which shows at least a good portion of the clients achieved some level of heterosexual shift successfully with 0 evidence of harm done. As presented in the Peer Reviewed online Journal "The Journal of Human Sciences."
We are presented with a group of self-determined and self-directional men whom together with their own efforts and assistance from a licensed, proper therapist become some level of straight from an exclusively gay starting point. Yes, I said exclusively with them rating themselves The Klein Grid equivalent of a Kinsey 7 homosexual at starting point with going towards anything ranging from some to complete heterosexuality at the end point and the year followed after the therapy.
Following up with Lisa Diamond she has gone on record as saying the Born This Way Hypothesis is wrong and should be thrown out. That is is scientifically not accurate and furthermore that in her mind Attachment Theory plays a much larger role in the process of developing a homosexual or bisexual orientation. Also, she is not the only one that says this. The only official American Psychological Hypothesis is not even that you are born a Kinsey 7 gay identifying person. Instead you are born with certain temperaments.
According to the APA when these temperaments are combined with specific environmental and nurture related forces you at puberty develop an erotic code based on the exotic nature around your own sex due to your temperament differences from other people of your sex making your own sex the exotic turned erotic ones. Essentially it is an overwhelming and devouring Fetish for your own sex that subsumes you. Notice I said Fetish not Mental Illness or disorder. It is in essence a Fetishistic Psychological Adaptation. In other words it is an evolutionary adaptation that can be, could be, but, is not predestined in your future based on your temperament differences and how you learn to identify and fit in with the sexual world and your sex/gender at a young age.
This hypothesis is the only one that makes sense with all the other data we have. Including the fact that in 2012/2013 the only Non-Biased and Non-Michael Bailey associated Gender non-conformity study showed 85-90% of them were heterosexual. What does this mean? Simple, that only when mixed with certain other conditions does one develop the Evolutionary Adaptation of a bisexual or homosexual erotic code while having unique temperaments. Specifically, if you are unique and atypical, but, do not see your own sex as the exotic one than you are less likely to develop an erotic code around Puberty which is aimed at your own sex and more likely to develop heterosexually at that time. Regardless of if your favorite color is Pink or your favorite band is The Spice Girls or whatever.
It also explains why sexual reorientation towards heterosexuality can and often does happen naturally over time and without therapy. It is after all a Fetish that is overwhelming and not an innate and immutable, unchanging thing. So, all you do is reorient yourself, so, the Fetish is simply an amplification of the natural norm for the mammalian species AKA the opposite sex. AKA you restore in a sense the Erotic code you would have gotten if you did not obtain the other one by thinking of yourself as the Exotic sex as a child. This could be done without even trying at all just like the original exotic becomes erotic code was formed without being done consciously.
The young time frame of when the code begins to take shape and the memories of being different explains why gays, bisexuals and lesbians assume they were "born this way." They are remembering their different even if as simple as being sensitive as over rough and tumble play. They are not recalling something called being born "gay," but, being born unique and feeling not like the other the true Origin of the Exotic Becomes Erotic Fetishism towards their same sex/gender. They are in effect recalling being born in the state of the actual causes and not the end point of those causes direction.
So, where does this leave the LGBT? Well, in just as good of a position as ever. I am not arguing here that people whom have cultivated towards the same sex over time and actually stuck there are sinners. Or that they are bad or that they are diseased or anything of the nature. Or that they even all can change even if their DNA did not code them to be Gay or Lesbian as such. I am arguing though that most can change and that it is not immutable, or innate, or hardwired for you to be "exclusively gay." Most people whom have such Erotic Codes are not even Gay when you remove the Mostly Heterosexuals. They are still a variant of bisexual and thus they still retain their opposite sex Erotic code as well.
I am not saying that you need to be or should be coerced, pressured or cajoled to be heterosexual. I will argue that most people by their very nature as a member of the human species have some amount of heterosexual possibility in them. However, if anyone dares to preach that people with your Erotic Code with your Fetish for the same are bad people or evil because you have obtained an Erotic code that is atypical I pray for them to become more Christ like. Bigotry and hatred is not defended by the ability for people to have straight potentiality in them. I love my gay and lesbian friends just as much as if they were "born that way." However, if they switched teams I would not freak out either and act like they lost their value. Good people are good people regardless of which consenting adults they mate with. Whether it is the human sexual norm of our species or not does not matter.
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http://www.tsroadmap.com/info/APA-address.pdf
https://www.newscientist.com/article/mg22730310-100-sexuality-is-fluid-its-time-to-get-past-born-this-way/
https://dc.law.utah.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1023&context=scholarship
https://badgerherald.com/news/2017/02/10/professor-strikes-down-born-this-way-argument-for-homosexuality/
In the APA Handbook, Dr. Diamond states, “Hence, directly contrary to the conventional wisdom that individuals with exclusive same-sex attractions represent the prototypical ‘type’ of sexual-minority individual, and that those with bisexual patterns of attraction are infrequent exceptions, the opposite is true. Individuals with nonexclusive patterns of attraction are indisputably the ‘norm,’ and those with exclusive same-sex attractions are the exception” (v. 1, p. 633). Most people who experience same-sex attraction also already experience opposite-sex attraction.
“Although change in adolescence and emerging adulthood is understandable, change in adulthood contradicts the prevailing view of consistency in sexual orientation” (Rosario & Schrimshaw, 2014, APA Handbook, v. 1, p. 562).
The APA Handbook reviews a highly regarded study by gay researcher Savin-Williams and colleagues (Savin-Williams, Joyner, & Rieger, 2012; Rosario & Schrimshaw, 2014, APA Handbook, v. 1, p. 562) that followed the sexual identity of young adult participants when most were ages 18 through 24 and again at ages 24 through 34, about 6 years later. Participants indicated whether their sexual identity was heterosexual, mostly heterosexual, bisexual, mostly homosexual, or homosexual. The bisexual group was larger than exclusively gay and lesbian groups combined. But the largest identity group, second only to heterosexual, was “mostly heterosexual” for each sex and across both age groups, and that group was “larger than all the other non-heterosexual identities combined” (Savin-Williams et al., 2012, abstract).
“The bisexual category was the most unstable” with three quarters changing that status in 6 years (abstract, emphasis added). “[O]ver time, more bisexual and mostly heterosexual identified young adults of both sexes moved toward heterosexuality than toward homosexuality” (p 106, emphasis added). Similar change is found in other population-based longitudinal studies, and rates of change do not appear to decline as participants get older (Diamond & Rosky, 2016, p. 7, Table 1).
For both sexes, a heterosexual sexual orientation identity was the most stable” (SavinWilliams 2012, p. 104), as Diamond reports is true in all of the large-scale prospective, longitudinal studies (2014, in APA Handbook, v. 1, p. 637). For women who shifted away from exclusive heterosexuality in the Savin-Williams 2012 study, the greatest increase was to mostly heterosexual (Rosario & Schrimshaw, 2014, APA Handbook, v. 1, p. 562).
In the APA Handbook, Diamond says, “In every large-scale representative study reviewed thus far, the single largest group of individuals with same-sex attractions report predominant—but not exclusive—other-sex attractions” (v. 1, p. 634). Kleinplatz and Diamond say (v.1, p. 256), “Historically such individuals [mostly heterosexual] have been treated with skepticism and suspicion by laypeople and scientists alike. They have been viewed as either closeted lesbian, gay, or bisexual individuals (who cling to a mostly heterosexual label to avoid the stigma associated with same-sex sexuality) or as confused or questioning “heteroflexibles.” Heteroflexibles refers to individuals who, given our culture, have had infrequent same-sex fantasies or experimented with same-sex behavior but are not really gay or bisexual (v.1, p. 256). Kleinplatz and Diamond urge that “it is critically important for clinicians not to assume that any experience of samesex desire or behavior is a sign of latent homosexuality and instead to allow individuals to determine for themselves the role of same-sex sexuality in their lives and identity” (p. 257) (emphasis added). Mostly heterosexual individuals do not identify as LGB, and LGB activists have not recognized or represented them well. Some have had therapists wrongly assume they are really homosexual and would be happier leaving their marriage and family for a gay life.
Readers can hear Dr. Diamond review research in her YouTube lecture for an LGBTaudience at Cornell University (2014). She said that excellent and abundant research has now established that sexual orientation—including attraction, behavior, and identity self label—all three—is fluid for both adolescents and adults and for both genders, and exceptions for LGB individuals are a minority.
Further underscoring that sexual orientation is changeable, Diamond reports that some say choice was involved for them, and she says one may choose a context or circumstance that may influence sexual orientation change, such as choice of roommate (2008, pp. 249-250), deciding to live in an ideological, political, or social reference group —as in “political lesbians” (2014, in APA Handbook, v.1, p. 632)
Dr. Diamond has publicly gone on record that she opposes psychotherapy that is open to sexual attraction change. (See Rosik, 2016 for a penetrating critique of her position as expressed in Diamond & Rosky, 2016.) Nevertheless, she says in her book (2008, p. 252) that some same-sex attracted individuals may have more capacity than others to channel the direction of their sexual fluidity in response to their context, and they may for that reason modify it in psychotherapy.
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/41433375_How_do_I_love_thee_Implication
http://www.glbtqarchive.com/ssh/situational_homosexuality_S.pdf
https://www.j-humansciences.com/ojs/index.php/IJHS/article/download/4282/2137
https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/guest-blog/is-homosexuality-a-choice/
https://www.thenewatlantis.com/publications/part-one-sexual-orientation-sexuality-and-gender
Ten percent of kids defy gender norms before age 11, a new study published in the journal Pediatrics found. Boys considered "girlie," because of their activity choices and interests, and girls deemed "boyish" are more likely to face abuse -- both physical and sexual -- and experience post-traumatic stress disorder by early adulthood. According to USA Today, parents or other adults in the home were mostly responsible for the abuse.
Andrea Roberts, lead author of the study and research associate in the department of society, human development and health at the Harvard School of Public Health, told USA Today that children under 11 are very likely to display behavior that has nothing to do with their future sexual orientation -- of 9,000 young adults studied, 85% of the 10% considered gender-non-conforming children identified as heterosexual.
Sunday, April 12, 2020
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