This passed month I have been part of a Men's Group located in my hometown. While I cannot and will not give out any specific details about whom is in the group or exact details of the meetings. One of the things brought up in literature we looked at was about something called "gender role strain."
It looks like the term mainly comes from literature associated with the Social Sciences. It was an interesting conversation to have as a group. However, there seemed to be a sense in which it seemed to take gender as completely a matter of social construction.
I disagree with the hypothesis of gender being strictly a construct of society or culture. There are numerous differences between the biological sexes. These differences in the sex has a genuine impact on all kinds of different traits that differ cross-culturally between masculinity and femininity. They are one of the reasons men and women differ so much. While there is no doubt very unreasonable expectations of men that does not make masculinity and femininity irrelevant or not real ways of existing. Nor does it indicate that masculinity or femininity should be considered something for the dust bin of history.
I think the confusion comes from an idea of masculinity or being a man that is more than what the definition entails. The definition of masculinity does exist and it is in essence the following. The existence of manhood; and the perception, recognition, and application of reality through it. This does not prescribe any sort of narrow sighted list of you need to do this or be this. However, it does differentiate from femininity. In that respect masculinity should not be erased or labelled toxic. It should not be thrown in the trash. One only needs to realize the differences between the essence of it and some peoples perceptions of what it should be.
If a man orders a cooler that does not stop him from acknowledging his masculinity. If a man hugs another man that does not mean he has no balls. Once again the definition in essence is as follows. The existence of manhood; and the perception, recognition, and application of reality through it. This does not say what you are doing while acknowledging your manhood and applying reality through it. Patrick Swayze for example was a Ballet Dancer. Men whom ballet dance have their own way of dancing that is different from a ballerina in their core style, but, it is still ballet. It is the case of both similar, but, also different.
This is the way men and women tend to be, similar in many ways, but, also quite different in others. However, individuals tend to be similar, yet, different at the level of the individual person. People are not clones of each other. This is why it is stupid and prejudiced to assume all men would express their masculinity or manliness or maleness in the exact same way. Just as it is to assume the same of women. There is no collective man nor woman. In the end individuals of both sexes need to be treated as individuals not groups.
Born Again Christian; Biblical Fundamentalist, Received Text-KJV, Dispensational
